two birds

21

it's been a few days since I last talked with jisung.
literally.

he only gets out of his room when his tutors or therapist come, but other times, he doesn't leave his room.

he's been eating less too, I can see that whenever maids walk out of his room, holding the plate where jisungs dinner was still laying on, untouched.

the guilt has been eating me up.
I shouldn't have just left like I did.
I should have resolved the problem.
but no, I ran away.
and I fucked up, a big time.

I also had a lot of time to think about everything.
about me and jisung.
and I can't do this anymore.
I can't just watch him isolate himself and feeling bad, sad and depressed.
because I know he is feeling like that right now.
and the worst part is that he's feeling like that because of me.

so I made my way to his door, and took a deep breath before knocking.
honestly, I had no idea what I was even going to say.

"come in."

I opened the door, seeing jisung sitting on his bed, drawing while listening to music.
I'm getting a sense of dejavú.

"jisung-"

"what do you want?"
he asked me, looking down on his bed.

I sighed, and I closed the door behind me.
I made my way to his bed and sat on it.
the feeling of dejavú is even bigger now.
are we about to fight again?

"I...I don't know."
I sighed.
"I just don't want to see you hurt."

"why does it even matter to you?"
he asked me.

"jisung...I care about you, you know that."
I put my hand on his knee.
"even tho you don't probably think that right now, but I really do."

I saw a tear fall from his eye.
I really hate seeing him cry.
especially when I'm the reason for his tears.

I sighed, before moving closer to him and cupping his face, kissing the tears away.
"don't cry. you're too pretty to be crying."

he chuckled.
gosh, how I missed that sound.
how I missed his face.
his eyes, I was currently getting lost in.
I swear his eyes are just manipulating me.

and then, all that I can feel is his lips on mine, his arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me closer.

I put my hands on his waist, and brought his closer to me, making him straddle my lap.
I pulled him closer to me.
and at that time, I forgot why I even was here in the first place. I can just focus on jisung, his beautiful body in my hands, his pouty lips on mine, and his hands moving on my chest.

his hand moved lower until it met the first button of my shirt. he gently opened it, before going to the second button, revealing my very muscular chest.
he didn't stop, and soon, all of the buttons were opened. he gently started taking the shirt off of me, me moving my arms to help him.

he gently pulled away from the kiss, our foreheads stayed connected.
he looked down, his hand traveling from my naked chest, to my abs, gently feeling my skin.
and I must say that jisungs hands on my bare body is now my favorite feeling.

I let out a breath, before I wrapped my hands around him and turned us around. he was now laying on his back, his eyes on mine, as I hovered over him.

I kissed his forehead, his nose, both of his cheeks, and lastly his lips, before I started placing open mouthed kisses on his neck. he let out a shaky breath, tilting his head.

trust me or not, but I love huge ass shirts on jisung. especially when they are so big that his collarbones are showing.
and right now, he was wearing one.