Gray All Over

Chapter 5 - It Scared Me Out Of My Wits

The residents of Pabu are quite relieved to see Tech is alive. It is good to be able to see again.

It is right before they sit down to eat that Crosshair finally comes over to him when they are alone. They are in the courtyard where they will be eating, and the sun is lowering in the sky. They do not have much time, and it would be ideal to depart prior to sunset.

"Tech," he says quietly, moving to his side.

Tech looks up from his datapad – it is good to have it back. "Is there something you require?"

Crosshair sighs, crossing his arms. He isn't looking at Tech, which is a clear sign of his discomfort. "I know what happened to you is because of what I did."

"You were captured by the Empire," Tech replies, "You needed us."

"I told you to hide. I know you got my message."

He is hurt, and Tech does not fully know what to say to him. These are not like the struggles Wrecker and Omega have had, and emotions have never been Tech's strong point. He is wholly uncertain on how to handle them. His preference is facts, but that is what Crosshair came to him for. If he wanted something else, he would have gone to Hunter. "It was clear you required our aid, and that you had turned on the Empire."

"You weren't supposed to come. I risked everything to send you that message. Then I was waking up, and Omega was there, and she said –" He cuts off, shaking. His hand is shaking slightly, though Tech cannot tell if it is from the emotional nature of their discussion, or if something else is amyss. "They used me to make you comply. You shouldn't have come."

"We will always come for you, Crosshair," Tech promises, "Regardless of what you have done to us. You are still our brother."

Crosshair throws himself at Tech, clinging to him. He grunts, stumbling back into the railing.

"I'm sorry." He's crying, too. He's shaking, and Tech very awkwardly wraps his arms around his back and holds him.

There is too much emotion for him to process. He is still angry at Crosshair, no doubt, but he is also fully aware of his brother's inability to handle any sort of confrontation right now. "You are not incorrect it was your choices which lead to these occurrences," Tech says, "Though you could not have predicted this outcome."

"I'm sorry." He's clinging tighter, voice breaking off. "I didn't know. I – I left when I realized you were right. Everything Hunter told me. I know you tried to warn me, too."

It is a difficult thing to counter when the fact remains, he is not incorrect that it was his choices which caused all of this. It will never stop hurting that Crosshair did not choose them, but he is their brother, and they will not reject him as he once did them. "You were not under full control of your own when it began," Tech says instead, "Once it started, I imagine it was... difficult for you to break away on your own."

"I should've known."

"Yes, you should have," he agrees, "However, it does not change that you did not, and that dwelling on the past will not change your past actions."

Crosshair pulls back, sniffling. "What do I do?"

"You do not need to do anything. You are free now. That is a choice you make yourself."

"I don't know. I don't know, Tech – I thought I was doing the right thing, but I almost got you killed. I thought – for months, I thought –"

"If I gave you an order, it would not be your choice."

Crosshair sighs, burying his face on Tech's neck again. Perhaps he is more himself than Tech had assumed. That is a good thing. It will make it far simpler for them to make it through.