A Young Mistake

Heart's Silent Stir

I saw him today. I don't know who he is; I've never seen him before. But what is this feeling? He's just a guy standing about fifteen feet away from me, wearing brown pants, black shoes, and a crisp white shirt, laughing and talking with his friends. Who is he? Why does my heart race just looking at him? I don't understand these butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Oh, hi! It's me, Sonali. I'm 14-well, 14.8 years old, if you want to be precise. I'm not a kid anymore, so don't think that, okay?

I'm in my teenage years now, and I see my friends in relationships and all those movies where everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend and their own love stories. Is it really okay to have a crush or be in a relationship at this age? I've been thinking about it a lot. What's it like to have someone by your side, like a guy? It's all so confusing.

I don't know why all these thoughts are running in my head after seeing that guy it's really unusual and never felt like this before.

Anyway, today I decided to bunk my class. I know, I know-I'm in 9th standard and I usually never skip. But today is Palak dii's birthday, and there's no way I'm missing that! If I do, she'll seriously kill me. You just can't skip a birthday celebration, right?

I couldn't help but keep glancing at that guy, trying not to make it obvious, but I think he noticed me a few times. This whole thing felt so new and exciting. Just then, I heard a voice from behind me. "Let's goooo!" It was my favorite person in the world, Palak dii! She's the one I can always rely on, no matter what. She knows everything about me-like, everything. We live just two houses apart, and she's in 12th standard at the same school as me.

I've never been very close to my family. It feels like we're just a typical Indian family, where there's this single mindset of wanting their daughter to become an engineer. Honestly, I'm just an average student, and I really don't enjoy studying. I understand that they want me to succeed in life, but the pressure can be overwhelming. I try my best to focus and make them proud, even when it feels like it's not enough.

Palakl introduced me to her friends, some of whom go to our school, while I already knew a few through her. I felt a bit famous, knowing so many seniors. I'd even heard that some of them liked me, but I never said anything because I honestly didn't know how to handle all of that. So, in those moments, I usually just kept a blank expression, like a confused donkey.

Then Palak introduced me to him. "Sona, meet Rohan. He's my best friend's best friend. He lives in Delhi." Suddenly, Rohan interrupted Palak, saying, "Hey, girl! I can introduce myself way better than that!"

Hii Sona, When he said my name, "Sona," it sent an electric shock through my body. Wow, hearing my name from him felt so intense. I was totally caught off guard. What was happening to me?

I'm usually a very friendly person, but right now, my whole body felt stunned. I didn't know why I suddenly became speechless, unable to say anything. What was happening to me?

He repeated, "Hi, Sona??" The sound of my name made my heart race. I finally snapped out of those thoughts and awkwardly replied, "Hi." My voice was a bit shaky, but at least I said something.

And how are you?" I managed to say in a shaky voice. "Yes, yes, I'm good, good. What about you?" I couldn't believe how awkward I sounded. Then I quickly added, "Bye-bye," as Palak called me over.

Damn, what was I saying? My first impression was totally ruined in front of him. I felt so embarrassed I could hardly look at him now.

We arrived at the pizza store, and I could tell Palak was about to spend a fortune treating everyone. Everyone was having a great time-sharing stories, talking about their daily lives, and cracking jokes. Meanwhile, I just sat there quietly, stealing glances at Rohan. Ah, Rohan. What a name! But honestly, what's so special about it? It's just a name.

Then, out of nowhere, he offered me a spoonful of  cake. Huh? Why did he want me to eat that while he was holding the spoon? I thought to myself, I can eat on my own! But my body had other plans, and before I knew it, I took a bite. Why did I do that?

Everyone around me looked surprised. I'd never have done that for anyone else. Palak was in complete shock!

But the main question racing through my mind was, why did he offer me that? He doesn’t know me, and we hardly exchanged more than a “hi” and a “bye.” It was all so confusing. What was going on with him?

Putting all those thoughts aside, I decided to enjoy myself since it was Palak’s birthday. We took a ton of pictures and ordered a cake for her. Seeing her so happy filled me with joy. I’m not very close to many people, but with her, it feels different—like she’s my own sister. It’s nice to have that kind of bond, especially since she’s not related by blood. I don’t have strong connections with my blood relatives, so it means a lot to have someone like Palak in my life.

Suddenly, in the middle of all the festivities, I found myself looking for Rohan. Yes, I know, don’t ask me why. But he wasn’t in his seat. I glanced around and spotted him at the main gate, talking on the phone with his hand in his pocket. He looked really good from behind. Ugh, what am I even thinking?

He must be about 5'10", while I’m only 5'2". I felt so short, But why did I feel short? It’s not like I’d actually be standing right next to him.

Then Priyam called everyone to line up for a group photo. Of course, I had to stand next to Palak—I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else! We were all smiles, and out of nowhere, Rohan came to stand right beside me. Ugh, why? It’s a big frame; he could’ve gone next to someone else!

My face turned totally red. You might not see it because of my dusky skin, but trust me, I was feeling so shy right now. His arm was brushing against mine. What? No, no!

Priyan said cheese and my straight face haha.

It was time to say goodbye to everyone, as it was around 3:30 PM, and I needed to get home by 4:10 because that’s when school closes. I felt really happy today, especially since I saw Rohan, but now I had to take a different path, and it made me feel sad. I didn’t even know him, but it felt like I was leaving something precious behind. I didn’t want to go; I wanted to get to know him better. Why hadn’t he said anything?

I said goodbye to everyone in a low tone, and Palak noticed. “Why so soon?” she asked. I replied, “I have to go. My parents are really strict, and today I bunked. If they find out, I’m done for!”

Palak walked out with me from the shop and helped me into an auto for the ride home. She always takes such good care of me. But then, my eyes caught a glimpse of Rohan standing just behind the glass door at the store. I could see him looking right at me.

Palak noticed and started teasing, “Ooh hoo, someone is looking at someone!” I quickly shushed her, feeling my face heat up. Without looking anywhere else, I hopped into the auto.

My heart racing.