Altair 1: Karma

Melting Snow: Hades 1

Suffering

Isang buwan na hindi pa rin umuuwi ang mag-ina ko. Hindi ko pa rin maalis sa isip ko ang mga sinabi nya lalo na ang sakit na nararamdaman nya.

Kampante naman ako na nasa poder sila ni Eres dahil alam kong di nito papabayaan silang dalawa pero di ko pa rin maiwasan mainggit sa pang-apat naming kapatid kaya pinagbawalan ko syang lumapit kay Aoife noon dahil alam kong magiging komportable sya sa lalaki.

Bukod dun ay gusto kong ako ang maging sandalan nya pag tuwing nahihirapan sya, gusto ko sakin sya lagi lalapit, ako ang nandyan. Pero putang ina, anong ginawa ko? Dahil sa takot kong masaktan ulit, ako naman ang nakasakit, at ngayon nasasaktan na naman ako dahil sa kagaguhan ko.

Angelique, my ex-fiancee, gave me this trauma that causes me to not to commit again. I buried myself at work, I don't even sleep frequently, and I always go home late and woke up early.

I left Aoife at the hospital after I received the news, I go to Macau to refreshments and got a vacation there. Di ko naman akalain na mabilis itong nakarating sa Altairia kaya after thinking thoroughly, I fly to Spain and face my family.

Time flies, Eros brought Aoife home. Even though we're on the same roof, we're not sharing a room. I'm afraid of facing Aoife but, I let my cold composure exposed at her presence.

“Fuck.” I muttered a curse sabay nilagok ang isang baso ng brandy sa kamay ko.

I'm missing her. I'm fucking miss her. My mind is in complete chaos, I don't even know how to face our father now that Azi’s condition got worse. We don't still can't communicate with her. It's my fault in the first place, if I wasn't asked for Azi's help to rescue Aoife, she wouldn't suffer. Why can't I be brave enough to not asked Azi's help in the first place, I despise her but, in the very end, I still asking her for help.

I left the bar and go to Eres' place. He's staying at Azi's old condo. I can't afford this feeling of being homesick now. My house isn't a home anymore.

I ring the doorbell twice. It's been eleven o’clock in the night. Maya-maya pa, binuksan na ni Eres ang pinto, his hair was in mess as if na kakabangon nya pa lang. “Kuya Hades.” Eres was shocked when he saw me.

“Ate mo?” I'm drunk but I can still think straight.

“Wa-wala dito sila ate.” pakamot-kamot pa ito sa batok.

“Wag mo kong pinaloloko Eres.” I shrugged him on the side and barged on his unit. I searched all over but I saw nothing, even their shadows.

“Sabi ko sayo kuya eh, magpahinga ka na kaya.”  wika nito habang naka-upo sa couch saka humikabhikab pagbalik ko sa living room.

“Nasan ang mag-ina ko?!” galit kong tanong dito. Akala ko ba nandito lang sila? Si Eres ang lagi nyang kausap, di kaya nalaman niya ang lahat ng nangyare sa loob ng bahay ay napag-desisyonan nyang itago ang mag ina ko?

I grabbed his shoulders, “San mo sila itinago?”

“Hindi ko sila tinago, umalis sila dito, di ko alam kung saan sila pupunta.” tugon naman nito, agad ko naman itong binitawan.

One month ago, umalis sa pangangalaga ko ang mga kapatid nya dagil uuwi ng probinsya ng tatay nila sa Abra, di kaya nandon din sila? May nangyari kaya?

“Siguraduhin mo lang na di mo sila tinatago dahil pag nalaman kong—”

“Dahil pag nalaman mo? Ano kuya?” he cutted.

“Tsk.” Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa bulsa at tinipa. Where the hell are you, Aoife? I'm sobber now, and I can't stop thinking where she gone now.

“Hades.” wika ng lalaki sa kabilang linya.

“Ren, may ipapagawa sana ako.”

“Dude, it's fucking rest time now, what are you?” pagra-rant nito.

“My wife and daughter left me and they are missing.”

“What do you want me to do? Find them? Dude, I'm Azi's right man hand.”

“I’m asking you for a favor.”

“Fine. I'll try.” and he hangs up.

Tinapunan ko naman ng atensyon si Eres na kasalukuyang nagtitipa ng kanyang cellphone. Goddamit! I barge through the door and slammed it shut.

My cellphone vibrated pagatapos kong lumabas ng elevator sa parking lot.

Kurenai:
Dude, out of jurisdiction namin yung personal issues nyo magkakapatid kasama sya sa prohibited cases, pasensya na di kita matutulungan.

Kurenai:
Kung gusto mo hintayin mo na lang maka-recover si Azi, pwede syang magbaba ng utos sa mga bata para matulungan ka. Sa ngayon wala kaming magagawa.

Pagtapos kong mabasa ang messages ni Ren agad naman akong nakaramdam ng malalang galit. Tsk. Bakit ba kung kailangan ko sila di nila ko matulungan?! Asik ko sa sariling utak.

Tuluyan na kong sumakay sa kotse at nagmaneho pauwi. I contacted daddy to try asking him for help.

“Hades, hijo.” dinig kong wika ni Daddy sa kabilang linya.

“Dad, help me. Aoife left me with my daughter.” pinipigilan kong maiyak habang nakikipag-usap.

“I already told you that, I can't help you, fix your mess stop relying on others. That's not how I raise you.” and then, he ended the call.

Napahampas naman ako sa manibela. “Fuck this shitty life.” anas ko. Wala kong malapitan, ako talaga ang gagawa ng lahat ng ito. I'm the oldest but I'm always helpless.

Kung di ko lang hinayaan makulong ako sa nakaraan ko, hindi sana ganito ako ngayon.