Valerie's POV
As I stepped out of the car and followed Julien up the driveway, a wave of dread washed over me. The façade of a perfect evening with his family loomed ahead, but all I could think about was the unsettling conversation we had just had in the car. Julien's concern had been genuine, but it only added to the tension that had been brewing inside me since the kiss with Liam.
What was I doing?
I could still feel the warmth of Liam's lips on mine, the intensity of that moment lingering like a shadow I couldn't shake off. It was like an explosion in my chest—unexpected and all-consuming. But as soon as it happened, reality crashed back in, and I was reminded of Julien waiting just outside the door. I had chosen this life, hadn't I? A comfortable, predictable life with a kind and loving fiancé.
But even now, with Julien beside me, I felt like I was losing my grip on what I wanted. My mind kept drifting back to Liam, the way he had looked at me, the way he had kissed me. Did it mean anything? Or was it just a moment of weakness?
As we entered the house, the warm smell of home-cooked food greeted us, and I forced a smile for Julien's sake. His parents were already in the living room, chatting animatedly about some recent news. They looked so happy, and I felt a pang of guilt wash over me. I should be happy, too. I should be excited about this dinner, about being part of Julien's family.
"Hey, you two!" Julien's mother, Elizabeth, exclaimed, her eyes lighting up when she saw us. "We're so glad you could make it!"
"Of course!" I replied, putting on my best cheerful tone. I walked over and hugged her, feeling the warmth of her embrace, but it didn't quite reach my heart.
I glanced at Julien, who was chatting with his dad about something mundane, and my chest tightened. What's wrong with me? I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him everything—about the kiss, about the confusion swirling in my heart—but how could I? This was his family, and I didn't want to ruin this moment for him.
The dinner table was beautifully set, and as we all sat down, I tried to immerse myself in the conversation. They were discussing the upcoming holidays, making plans, and sharing laughter. I nodded and smiled at all the right moments, but inside, I felt like I was on another planet.
Julien kept glancing at me, a worried look flashing across his face each time our eyes met. I could tell he was still thinking about our earlier conversation. I wanted to reassure him, to tell him that I loved him, that everything was fine, but those words felt heavy on my tongue. They were tangled in the chaos of my emotions, caught between my commitment to him and my undeniable connection to Liam.
"What do you think, Valerie?" Julien's dad asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Uh, what?" I replied, my cheeks heating up. I hadn't been paying attention.
Julien's eyes narrowed slightly, a hint of frustration surfacing. "I was asking what your plans are for winter break."
"Oh! Right." I took a breath, forcing myself to focus. "I think I'll just be studying and trying to catch up on everything." It felt like a lie, but I couldn't bring myself to share my true feelings, not in front of his family.
"That sounds like a good plan," Elizabeth said, a warm smile on her face. "Education comes first!"
I nodded, forcing a smile back, but inside, I felt a tumult of emotions—guilt for lying, frustration at myself for being so lost, and an overwhelming confusion about what I truly wanted.
As the dinner continued, the laughter and chatter felt like a distant hum. I found myself zoning out, my thoughts drifting back to Liam again. What did he want to talk about? Did he regret the kiss? I couldn't shake the thought that there was more to say, that the moment we shared was a doorway to something deeper.
Finally, as dessert was served, I excused myself to the bathroom, desperate for a moment alone. I leaned against the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was still perfect, my makeup flawless, but inside, I felt like I was unraveling. What am I doing?
The sound of laughter from the dining room echoed through the hallway, and I closed my eyes, trying to calm the storm within. I couldn't continue to live this lie. I had to figure out what I wanted, and soon.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and splashed some water on my face, willing myself to get a grip. I could handle this. I had to. But the truth was, every second I spent pretending was another second I felt trapped, and I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up.
As I stepped back into the dining room, the facade returned, but the knot in my stomach remained. I wanted to be the perfect fiancée for Julien, but the shadows of my heart were pulling me in another direction. I glanced at him, and for the first time that evening, I felt a flicker of resolve. I need to talk to Liam.
But what would that mean for Julien? The questions swirled in my mind, and as I sat down, I realized that no matter what happened next, I was standing at a crossroads. And the choice I made could change everything.
