Layover

19. Who do you think you are?

                                                          - Another Saturday, another update! Enjoy -

I step inside my apartment and I throw the keys in the table next to the door as I let out a long sigh. 'Drained' is not enough of a word to describe the way I feel.

"How did it go?" Jimin comes my way and I'm happy he is here waiting for me but I also feel guilty his life revolves around me for one more time.

"I regret giving you keys to my place you know," I joke and I pass by him with a smile. I don't want him to worry about me again. He has done more than enough and I'm not sure I deserve even half of it.

"Talk to me.." he grabs my arm and turns me around, looking at me worried.

"He needs time," I smile bitterly letting the irony of the situation finally sink in. I did it again. I pushed away a person that seemed to care about me. A person I cared about.

"It will be okay, I know he will come to you. Tae, he really likes you," Jimin's wide eyes convey his need for me to believe his words and I wonder if I could love him more for the way he loves me.

"I don't know Jimin.. I hurt him.. If I were him I wouldn't think I deserve the trouble. There is too much on the line for him right now," I don't show it but I feel defeated. I've been fighting for so long that I don't know how to keep on going anymore.

"Don't speak about yourself like that! You are worth it Tae, you are so worth it," Jimin squeezes my arm and I laugh at his words.

"Sometimes I think you are in love with me or something," I try to lighten the mood. I don't want to think the situation I am in - the situation I made others be in, because the pain is too much.

"You wish," Jimin huffs, a glimpse of his sassy self finally back. I enjoy the change. "There is only Yoongi for me, nothing else."

"Then go see him. You wasted your whole weekend because of me Jiminie," I pull my arm free of his grip and I move to the living room. I sink on the couch and I feel the need to stay here at least for a month.

"You are too full of yourself, don't you think?" Jimin follows me and sits on the other end. "Who told you I want Hyungsik around? The guy gives me the creeps. You know I never liked him."

I rub my forehead trying to ease the chills that run down my spine in the mention of Hyungsik's name. I despise him, I want him gone. I can't believe he dared to show his face after everything that happened. I thought monsters were fake but the guy has made me a believer. "I want him out," my voice is a mixture of hoarse and tired.

"I know you do. Okay it's time," Jimin sits up straight and looks at me with a naughty smile making me scared for what I'm about to hear. "Let's plot," he says and his grin becomes bigger. Another wave of chills runs down my spine.

--

The day is over and my head hurts to the point I think it might split in half.

I've analysed everything, Taehyung's words running through my mind over and over again. I've thought about myself, my job, the magazine, the situation and the people involved. No matter what scenario I've created in my head, all of them ended up with the same answer - Taehyung.

I find myself incapable of choosing anything else besides him and I don't even understand why I need him that badly considering I didn't even like him a few weeks ago.

I can't keep lying to myself, I want to be with him. In fact, I want to run to him right now and tell him how much I want to be his boyfriend.

I can get another job, I can do everything all over again and I wouldn't mind losing what I've built as long as he is next to me.