Phantom Legion

CHAPTER 13: THE WEIGHT OF SHADOWS

Jin often felt that his own struggles paled in comparison to those of his teammates. He had been a promising child, blessed with a stable upbringing. His father served in the force, often away on missions, while his mother, a dedicated doctor, became his primary caregiver. Jin had grown up in the warm embrace of her kindness, watching her tirelessly help others. She was his greatest inspiration, and from a young age, he aspired to follow in her footsteps—to become a doctor just like her and make her proud.

But fate had other plans. Jin's world was turned upside down when his mother passed away unexpectedly. He was only seventeen, just on the cusp of turning his dreams into reality. The loss broke him in ways he never thought possible, but it also fueled a fire within him. He threw himself into his studies with single-minded determination, vowing to honor his mother's memory by becoming the passionate doctor she had always inspired him to be.

He made it. Jin became a doctor, and for a brief moment, he felt that he was finally close to fulfilling his promise to her. But just two years into his career, a series of unforeseen events and circumstances led him down a different path. The agency had recruited him. Suddenly, the life he had envisioned for himself was ripped away, replaced by one he had never asked for. His dreams of healing and saving lives in the way he had always imagined were shattered, leaving him feeling lost and adrift.

Although he was grateful for the family he had found in his team—this band of brothers who had become his source of strength—Jin couldn't shake the feeling of failure. No matter how many missions he led or lives he saved, there was always a nagging voice at the back of his mind, whispering that he was letting his mother down. He often wondered what she would think of the choices he had made, of the path he had taken.

Additionally, the fear of not being good enough consumed him. The weight of leadership wasn't something he had sought, but something that had been thrust upon him by forces beyond his control. Jin had never been the type to take leadership roles in school or college—he was too humble, too soft. But life had other plans. When his once promising future turned into a nightmare, he hadn't been given the time or the chance to choose what he wanted.

This was a burden he couldn't speak to anyone about. Not even his brothers knew. He didn't have the courage to tell them. He feared they would see him differently, perhaps even see him the way he saw himself: unworthy, inadequate. So, he kept it all inside, living with the nightmare that haunted his every step, hoping he could keep his family in the dark forever.

However, the missions constantly reignited his anxiety. He never worried about his own safety—his fears were for his teammates. The weight of responsibility bore down on him, suffocating at times. What if his inadequacies as a leader put them in danger? What if he couldn't lead them safely? What if, in a crucial moment, he failed to protect them? The others were aware of his anxiety, but they assumed it was a natural part of being a leader. They didn't know the real reason behind it.

In an effort to compensate for his perceived shortcomings, Jin poured himself into caring for his teammates outside of missions. He nurtured them in every way he could—cooking for them, tending to their injuries, making sure they rested. He became more of a parent than just a leader, something unheard of in the agency. But Jin believed that if he could protect them in these small ways, maybe it would make up for what he lacked as a leader. He had already failed as a son; he couldn't bear the thought of failing as a leader and a brother too. Yet, deep down, he feared that no matter how much he tried, he would never live up to the leader they truly needed.


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