Countryhumans Art Book

Burgers And Zombies

World's most gullible country versus the People's Gaslighter. She sold him a plot of land on Dokdo and he didn't even question it until he got there and remembered that they don't use money anymore. And Nipponia showed up to remind him that they're called Takeshima and they belong to her, arigato gozaimasu.

Also joking aside, I remember the US occupation force in Japan designated the rocks as a bombing site and bombed Korean civilians there. And they are still far too involved in the matter for a country that is across the sea in the other direction. My opinion is that I like that the islands cause friction between Japan and the South, and they should continue to do so until the US stops trying to use us in a trifecta against the North. At which point they can be given over to the rightful government of Korea. Or we could share. They are just rocks.

Anyways, I think if I could speak fluent Korean and you gave me ten minutes alone in a room with Comrade Kim Jong-il I could convince him to produce a zombie movie. I hate how the government is always incompetent in zombie films. It is realistic that they wouldn't give a damn about people and prioritize those with status and making money over the common folk, but that's why I want a Socialist zombie film. The government is doing all it can, but the zombies are still a threat. They could totally make it a metaphor for capitalism/imperialism/American influence. The virus started in America as a bioweapon, drawing on real historical events, and the Imperial Core is prioritizing themselves over the countries they're exploiting. There could be rumours that the Americans have developed a cure (because they made the virus), but won't give out the secret and are charging exorbitantly for it, so only the wealthiest with good connections can afford it. The DPRK could be one of the few places without major outbreaks because of how the UN doesn't let them travel. And the rising action of the movie could be trying to stop American or South Korean agents from infiltrating the country and infecting them, too, with the reactionaries being more focused on making sure the North is infected as well instead of curing the disease and taking care of their own civilians (inspired by that one dream I had). It might be better for the film to be localized instead of countrywide, and take place almost entirely in a village by the DMZ. That way you could have Southern defectors coming over with stories about the army mowing down civilians and rich people and politicians hiding in bunkers, while people fought in the streets. Meanwhile in the North they could have a Party member who came down from Pyongyang to inform them of what's going on and also to work with soldiers at the DMZ to try and find a cure. So you have the contrast of 'government turning a blind eye' versus 'government on the scene.' And the Southern civilians fighting amongst themselves could be used as a metaphor for American cultural values of selfishness and individualism infecting them (much like the zombie virus), while the traditional Korean and also Socialist value of collectivism would have the North Korean soldiers standing firm at the border, not abandoning their posts, making sure not a single zombie or saboteur makes it across, and the villagers helping each other and the Southern refugees out. The climax could be something like an enemy agent smuggling zombies across the border, and the villagers have to rally together with the defectors, the Party member, and the soldiers to wipe them out. But in the course, one of the heroes gets bit. He refuses to succumb to the virus and become a mindless, bloodthirsty slave, so he prepares to cross the DMZ to find the enemy agent and take them out. Everyone is beside themselves, refusing to let him go, and the Party member says something like 'Every life is precious to the Worker's Party, I can't let you do this.' And then he gets to deliver a speech about how Comrade Kim Il-sung and the soldiers of the KPRA gave their lives valiantly while fighting the Japanese, and how he can't do any less for his country. Every life is precious, so if he can give his for the sake of everyone there (and Comrade Kim Jong-il) he will. And everyone comes around, except his wife or love interest. But the Party member gets it now, so she holds her back. And while he goes off, she can give another speech, this time about how their love for the General inspires them to fight. So the hero could cross the border, making it past the zombies because he's starting to turn. And he could reach the agent and kill them. But! It turns out the agent had a vial of the cure. And he knows he needs to get it back to the Party member. But as he limps through the horde, the zombies start to attack him, because even though he's infected physically, his heart remains pure with his devotion to his Fatherland. Clever camera angles could be used to avoid showing too much violence or gore as he struggles his way back to the border. Then the Party member sprints across and grabs him and the cure. He tries to get her to take just it, but she refuses and drags him back to safety, where he passes out. He has seemingly given his life for his people. But it worked. They have the cure. There could be a timeskip. Several months in the future and the DPRK has reverse-engineered the cure and is giving it out for free. My ideal ending is a mention that the South is ravaged but recovering with aid from the North, and that there is a mention of the American government getting killed by zombies through some karmic retribution while the American people are receiving cures from the DPRK, but I feel like if they put something like that in a movie, the South and America would use it as a chance to be like 'They want to invade!' So it would have to be carefully implied. Then it could end either with the Party member and the hero's wife visiting a statue to commemorate him and giving a speech about his bravery or because Comrade Kim Jong-il did not like when the hero of the story didn't get to see their happy ending, and I also don't like that, you could have a fake-out where you think he's dead, and they're laying flowers at a plaque to commemorate the victims, but then he walks up behind them, and it turns out that they got the cure in time to save his life. And then they could say he was brave and he could be like 'I was only following the General's example,' and boom, end credits. Honestly if you played it right, you wouldn't even have to show a single zombie until the end. It could lean the typical way that zombie films do, where in the end the humans are the real threat. But instead of a nihilistic message like that, it would be that capitalism/imperialism are the real dangers, with those who succumbed to them meeting bitter fates, while those who embraced Socialism and self-reliance came out on top. Unfortunately I cannot speak fluent Korean and I never got to meet Comrade Kim Jong-il. And I don't think I could talk Comrade Kim Jong-un into it. So the world's best propaganda-zombie film will never be made. Sad!