Junia Baker's Journal

Chapter Nine

At school the following week, I actively searched for Justin around the building. I have no idea what he's studying, so I have no clue where to look. I linger around near the gym, thinking he's a sporty guy and he must be taking a gym class this year. I wait for about five minutes before I start to give up.

To my luck, I saw him exiting with a couple friends and I felt myself get excited inside.

"Justin!" I shout, but only loud enough for him to hear me. He pauses in his tracks and turns around, smiling as he sees me.

"Hey!" He calls back, telling his friends to keep going without him, hanging back to speak to me. He walks closer and awkwardly chews on the inside of his cheek, I can tell by the way his mouth and cheek are scrunching a little.

I wait until he gets right in front of me before I start speaking. I don't want anyone else to hear our conversation. "I just wanted to say sorry for what happened. I had no clue my mom was gonna come home early." I explain, staring up at him with big eyes.

He laughs and shakes his head. "No worries. Really, it's okay. That was the most fun I've had in a while. I've never had to run out of a girl's house half naked, but... It was worth it."

I giggle at his response and groan quietly, feeling guilty all over again. "Anyway, um... I feel like we again didn't get to finish what we started and I don't know about you, but I'd really like to." Again, I'm being bold but I still don't feel like I got to relieve all the sexual tension that had built up inside.

"I agree." He nods. "But, unfortunately we can't do it at my place. My parents are like, insane. Is it cool if we do it at your place again? Maybe when we know for sure that your mom won't be home." He laughs, running a hand through his hair.

I shift from foot to foot. "Actually, we can't at my place either." I give him a sad look. "My mom totally freaked and - I just can't."

He looks disappointed. "Oh. I mean, I get it. I guess."

The conversation turns awkward and I internally cringe and I regret seeking him out to talk to him about this. I was really hoping we'd be able to go to his house.

Suddenly, an idea pops in my head. I just don't know if it'll work. "Actually," I say. "There might be somewhere else we can go. I'm not sure yet, but, call me on Friday, okay?" I ask him.

He nods his head, quickly up and down. "Okay. Yeah, sure. Sounds good. I can't wait." He gulps and I see him looking at me, as if there's something more he wants to say or maybe do.

Slowly, he leans forward and wraps his arms around me in a hug. I'm a little surprised, but nonetheless I hug him back. He pulls away and quickly walks back in the direction he was heading before I called him.

Later that day, I wait until my mom goes to bed before I creep out of my room and walk to the living room where I know Benji is, staying up late - watching TV. I sit on the armrest of the couch, far from him. The days of sitting close are obviously over and I'm okay with that now.

He glances at me, giving me a weird smile but not saying anything.

"I have a favour to ask you." I mumble, hoping he's going to take this well.

"What's that?" He asks, looking back at the stupid show he's watching. He looks like he's getting nervous by my silence.

"Um..." I had practiced asking him this question about a dozen times before coming into the living room but now that I'm actually here, I don't know how to ask it. He looks back at me, curiously - raising his eyebrows.

"So, mom caught me doing something stupid and she said I'm not allowed to have boys over anymore. I don't wanna get into it. But, I was just gonna ask you, you know, maybe when you're not home or something, like at your place, maybe you would let me spend some time there? You know, with somebody?" I feel my cheeks flare up red and they grow hot, I start to feel embarrassed asking him this question but I've run out of options and I really want to have sex with Justin. I'm aware I seem like a sex-crazed young-adult but I truly can't help myself. I'm sure Beni would understand, he has his own desires of his own that he needs to work out and expel. I'm also feeling anxious because this is the most I've said to him in a while. It feels almost weird to be speaking to him for longer than just a couple sentences.

I can see him stifling a laugh, wiping over his mouth with his hand. "Uh, I mean..." He pauses and blinks rapidly, as if he's thinking but trying to ignore his thoughts. "I guess so. I guess that'd be fine." He coughs after speaking.

I grin immediately. "Oh, well thanks! I uh, really appreciate it." I press my lips together.

"No problem, kid." He replies, looking back to the TV. "I can leave my key under the doormat. Just don't forget to put it back there when you're done."

I get up and hum, walking back to my bedroom.

The conversation went better than expected, I was almost expecting him to tell me to get lost - that he wasn't going to offer me a place to facilitate sleeping with people. Well, it's just Justin, but he doesn't know that.

I do hate that he called me "kid". I still hate the way it sounds rolling off his tongue, like he's saying it to make a point or prove one, I don't know. I just know that I wish he'd stop calling me that, no matter what happened between us or not.