Junia Baker's Journal

Chapter Sixteen

I've been debating on if I should see someone else besides Benji for the past week.

It was hard for me to hear them come home that night, stumbling and whispering to each other to be quiet to not wake me. I was already awake, in fact I had never fallen asleep. I purposefully stayed up, and no matter how sick and twisted it sounds - I wanted to hear if Benji was going to sleep with my mom.

He did.

Once I heard it start, I turned on my Ipod and cried myself to sleep. I know how silly it sounds but it truly does break my heart to know he's doing to her what I so badly want him to do to me.

All week I've been going back and forth, trying to figure out what the best plan was in order for Benji to catch me sleeping with someone, preferably an older man. I know if I bring Justin back to his apartment, he most likely won't care. It has to be someone better than that.

I get home from class and I catch Benji on his way out to work. He looks at me with a smile but I walk right past him and mumble, "You gonna be here tonight?"

I turn around and glance at him, seeing that he looks surprised. I've been avoiding him most of the week. I haven't ushered more than a couple words to him in seven days. "Um, yeah. Yeah I will." He nods.

"Cool. Is it okay if I crash at your place? I wanna have a sleepover with Bhodi." I state.

He cocks an eyebrow, confused. "Why not just do it here?"

I roll my eyes at him. "I don't really wanna be embarrassed having to explain to my best friend that she has to wear headphones at night so she doesn't hear you guys screwing." I'm being dramatic, they only had sex that one time - that I know of, but I need to be dramatic for this to work.

"Um... Yeah, I guess that's fine then. Knock yourself out. I might be dropping by though, to get some stuff after work." He replies.

Perfect. "Yeah, that's cool." I shrug. And with that, he left and I went to my bedroom.

It's crazy and maybe unrealistic, but I need to pick an older man up at a bar. I think I can do it, but I really hope there's at least one good looking guy out tonight.

As night approaches, I put on a tight black dress with heels. I would never wear this outfit on any other occasion, but I know this will do the trick. I had to sift through the back of my closet to find both of these items.

I leave the apartment with just my purse and city bus card, marching to the closest stop. I take the bus all the way downtown, the nightlife booming. I've gone out quite a few times since turning 18, but this will be the first time that I'm going out alone. I'm a little scared but I'm a woman on a mission.

I enter the first bar I see, not wanting to be picky. I get stopped by security and I show him my ID, to which he happily lets me in. I smile and walk past him, making my way to the bar. It's loud in here and very dark, strobe lights bouncing off the walls.

As I sit down on an empty stool, I adjust my dress so that my breasts are more visible at the top of it. My hands feel a little clammy and I gulp, signaling the bartender over to me. She slides over and smiles. "What can I get you?" She shouts over the music.

"Um, a tequila sunrise!" I yell back. She nods and begins to make my drink. I take out my wallet and place the money down on the counter.

She comes back over not long after with my drink, retrieving her money as well. I take a sip and start to scope out the bar, but I don't see anybody worth talking to right now. I'll stay here all night if I have to.

About thirty minutes creeps by painfully slowly before I see a man walk into the bar, his tie undone, dressed in a nice black suit. I lick my lips. He has dark brown hair, bushy eyebrows, freckles across his nose. He's handsome. He has a few visible wrinkles on his face, so I know he's not young by any means.