THE LIGHT BEYOND LOSS

A New Start

Livia shifted under her quilt, tossing slightly as her mind swirled in the fog of dreams. Images flickered in her head, soft yet vivid, pulling her into a familiar scene.

The sun was warm and golden, casting long, dappled shadows on the ground as she sat in the quiet comfort of her favorite place—an old, abandoned children's park turned into a maple garden. The trees stood tall, their branches heavy with amber leaves that danced in the gentle breeze. It was their secret spot, a place she and Viktor had claimed as their own years ago.

She was resting with her head in his lap, looking up at the sky as it turned from blue to orange. Viktor was sitting beside her, his back against a tree, and his hand was gently stroking her long brown hair—the same way he always did when they talked. It was such a small thing, but for Viktor, it was habitual, almost like second nature. He always told her how much he loved her hair, the way it shimmered under the sunlight, soft and silky between his fingers. She could almost feel his fingers now, running through the strands as if it were real.

They spoke softly, voices barely louder than whispers as if the world around them was sacred and fragile. They talked about their future, dreams they both shared—college, travel, how they'd stay together no matter what. There was peace in the air, a stillness that felt eternal. The kind of peace you could only find in a place that belonged to just the two of you. No interruptions, no expectations. Just them and the quiet rustling of the leaves overhead.

But as the sun began to dip lower, the scene shifted. A cold wind blew through the trees, scattering leaves across the ground. Livia blinked, and suddenly Viktor wasn't stroking her hair anymore. He was standing up. His face was calm, almost distant, as he began to walk away. Livia wanted to move, to call out to him, to ask him where he was going, but her body wouldn't respond. She stayed seated on the ground, unable to lift her head or open her mouth, watching as Viktor's figure slowly disappeared into the growing shadows of the park.

Her chest tightened, and a dull ache spread through her as she realized she was alone. He was gone. The sun had set, and all that was left were the dark silhouettes of the trees and the soft whisper of the wind. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and then she felt herself snap awake, gasping softly as if she had been holding her breath.

Her room was dark and quiet. The heavy feeling from the dream lingered in her chest as she sat up, her hand instinctively wiping away the tear that had slipped from the corner of her eye. Her heart pounded, not just from the nightmare but from the weight of everything it symbolized. Viktor. Gone. The park. Gone. The life she once knew—gone.

Unable to bear the pressure in her chest, Livia pushed the covers aside and jumped out of bed, her feet hitting the cold wooden floor with a soft thud. She stood there in the middle of her room, taking deep, shuddering breaths, trying to steady herself. The dream felt too real, too raw. It had been months since that one fateful day, but the pain still sat just beneath the surface, ready to overwhelm her at the smallest reminder. Her memories were so vivid, so entwined with every part of her life that even sleep couldn't shield her from anything she was going through now.

As she leaned against the window, trying to focus on her breathing, she heard the soft creak of her bedroom door opening. A familiar voice called out gently, "Livia? Are you awake?"It was her mom, Elin, stepping quietly into the room. Livia quickly wiped at her face, trying to shake off the remnants of her nightmare. She didn't want her mom to worry."Yeah, I'm awake," she whispered, her voice a little hoarse from the dream.Elin walked over to her, her soft brown eyes filled with concern as she sat on the edge of the bed. "You okay, sweetie? I came to remind you that dinner's ready, but I can tell something's bothering you."

Livia hesitated, then nodded, forcing a small smile. "I'm fine, Mom. Just...dreaming, I guess. Nothing big."

Elin didn't press. She knew better than to push her daughter when it came to emotions like this. Instead, she reached over and brushed a few strands of Livia's hair behind her ear, offering a warm, knowing smile.

"Well, come downstairs when you're ready," she said softly. "Dinner's on the table, and afterward, we'll head to Gothenburg. Big day tomorrow, starting at your new school."

That reminder hit Livia like a weight. The dream and the upcoming move had stirred emotions she'd been trying to keep buried. Today was her last day at home before moving to Gothenburg International Academy, the boarding school her parents had chosen for her. It was supposed to be a fresh start, a way for her to focus on her future instead of the past, but now it just felt like one more thing to endure.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll be down in a minute," she murmured.

Elin gave her a soft pat on the shoulder before heading out of the room, leaving Livia alone again. She glanced around her room—the room she had grown up in, where every corner held a memory. Photos of her and Viktor still hung on the walls, images of a life that seemed both distant and painfully close. As much as she wanted to hold onto the past, she knew she couldn't stay trapped in it. This move was supposed to help her heal, but part of her was terrified of what would happen when she no longer had the comfort of the familiar.

With a deep breath, Livia gathered herself and walked downstairs. The smell of roasted vegetables and meat wafted through the kitchen, but her appetite was nonexistent. Still, she sat down at the table, trying her best to engage in conversation with her parents. Her dad, Erik, was talking about the drive to Gothenburg, how he'd made sure the car was packed with everything she might need. Elin chimed in with reassuring comments, reminding her that the school had counselors and teachers who were always available to help.

Livia listened, nodding along, but her mind was elsewhere—on the dream, on Viktor, on the reality that tomorrow she would be in a completely new place, surrounded by people who didn't know her, didn't know her story.

After dinner, they loaded the car with her suitcases. The sky had darkened, and a few stars were already visible as they began the drive to Gothenburg. The road was long and winding, the headlights cutting through the darkness, but Livia hardly noticed. She stared out the window, her thoughts miles away. Her parents spoke quietly in the front seat, giving her space to process everything.

Gothenburg International Academy loomed large in her mind. She had researched it online, read about its academic programs, its student body, and the various activities it offered. But no amount of preparation could quell the anxiety bubbling inside her. This was a place where she knew no one. She would be a stranger, starting over completely. And while part of her craved the fresh start, another part of her was terrified of losing the last connection she had to Viktor. What if, in moving on, she left him behind entirely?

They arrived at the school late in the evening, the large gates and sprawling campus illuminated by soft lights. The buildings looked almost majestic in the dark, with their old stone walls and ivy creeping along the sides. Elin and Erik helped her carry her bags to the dormitory, where a staff member greeted them and showed them to her room. The space was small but cozy, with a bed, desk, and wardrobe. It felt foreign, yet familiar in the way that all boarding schools did—an impersonal space waiting to be claimed.

Livia unpacked slowly, her parents giving her quiet words of encouragement. Her mom hugged her tightly, whispering, "You'll be okay, sweetie. You'll see. This is a new chapter, and you're stronger than you think."

Her dad patted her on the back, his voice gruff but affectionate. "We're just a call away. You've got this, Livia."

After a final round of goodbyes, Livia was left alone in her room. The silence was deafening. She sat on the bed, looking around at the blank walls and unfamiliar surroundings. Everything felt different. Too different.

She sighed and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Tomorrow was the first day of school, the start of something new. But for tonight, all she had were her thoughts and the memories of a boy who, no matter how far she moved or how much time passed, would always be with her.

As her eyes fluttered shut, the last image she saw before sleep took her was Viktor's face, smiling at her from across the park, bathed in the golden light of a memory that felt both close and far away.

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"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned."
— Maya Angelou

Home wasn't just a place—it was the people you held dear. And for Livia, Viktor would always be a part of that home, no matter how far she traveled.

-Hanuel!