THE LIGHT BEYOND LOSS

Whispers of the Past

Livia hadn't felt this alive in a while. As she sat on the edge of the grassy field at Gothenburg International Academy, catching her breath after an hour of running around with Jonas, she couldn't shake the smile from her face. Her hair clung to her forehead, damp with sweat, and her muscles hummed with that familiar post-exercise exhaustion, but it felt amazing. The crisp autumn air, the golden sunlight filtering through the trees, and the simple joy of physical activity—it all came together in a way that lifted her spirits.

For the first time in months, Livia felt a rush of happiness that wasn't tainted by guilt or sorrow. It was a raw, unfiltered emotion, and she savored it.

She stretched out on the grass, looking up at the pale blue sky, catching her breath. The adrenaline still surged through her, a pleasant buzz that made her feel lighter than she had in a long time. Maybe I should do this more often, she thought, letting the idea settle in her mind. Not that she was suddenly going to become a fitness enthusiast, but the thought of engaging in more physical activity seemed... appealing. It was a small realization, but it felt like a personal victory—a sign that she was finally moving forward, even if just a little.

Livia sat up, her mind already racing to find an outlet for this newfound joy. She needed to capture it, to hold onto it before it slipped away like sand between her fingers. She needed to write it down.

Back in her room, Livia grabbed her diary, flipping it open to a fresh page. The familiar scent of ink and paper soothed her as she uncapped her pen. She always started her entries the same way, as though she were speaking to an old friend.

"Dear Vikky," she began, her hand moving swiftly across the page.

"Today was a good day, and I mean a really good day. I don't know when the last time was that I felt this... light. I spent the afternoon playing soccer with Jonas. Can you imagine? Me, playing soccer! I can almost hear you laughing at the thought. But honestly, it was so much fun. We ran around like maniacs, and by the end, I was completely wiped out. But it felt amazing. I forgot how good it feels to move, to just be present in my body and not stuck in my head for a change."

She paused for a moment, her thoughts drifting to the friends she had made in this new chapter of her life. It hadn't been easy at first, adjusting to a new school, new people, and new expectations. But somehow, she had managed to navigate it. She had Emma, Sophie, and Isabelle—her first real group of friends since Viktor. And then there was Jonas.

"Speaking of Jonas... he's... well, let's just say, he's a character. The guy is everywhere, and people practically idolize him here. He helped me out on my first day, and since then, he's been like this... constant presence. It's nice, though, to have someone to talk to, even if it's just light stuff. There were rumors, of course—because apparently, people love to speculate when a popular guy talks to a new girl—but I brushed it off. The old me, the Livia before... well, I would have been a mess, needing you to help me figure it all out. But now, I feel like I can handle it on my own. Isn't that something?"

She smiled at the thought. The Livia from a year ago would have felt paralyzed by the rumors, by the attention, by the weight of Viktor's absence. But this new Livia was different. She wasn't whole—not yet—but she was mending, piece by piece.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm okay. For the first time in a long time, I think I might actually be okay."

Satisfied with her entry, Livia closed her diary and placed it on her nightstand. She needed to tell someone else about this, someone who had been as worried about her as Viktor would have been. Her parents. They had watched her struggle with the loss, had worried when she moved away, fearful she might sink into her grief and lose herself completely. But today was proof that she was finding her way again.