Brown Slime Stories

Teacher's Pet

"What do you think the brown slime is, Greg?"

Hey—I'm Greg. I'm kind of a geek at heart who likes reading a lot, and with my thick-framed glasses I guess I look like the type of guy who would be bullied a lot in high school.

But Red Oak High School doesn't really have much of a bullying problem.

And yeah, as far as guesses go about the brown slime—I was pretty clueless.

"Maybe it's like Nickelodeon slime?" I shrugged. "You know, the stuff they use at those award shows."

I was talking to the girl seated next to me, a girl named Lillian Hines.

She was on the prim, proper side with long charcoal-colored hair she had up in a messy bun with a few strands hanging down. And she wore glasses, but not like the trendy sort that hipsters wear—no, these were thick, heavy-looking things similar to my own.

However, they really went with her sense of style, which seemed to favor comfort over fashion. She usually dressed in loose sweaters and baggy jeans, which I appreciated about her.

Also, she was a bit of a know-it-all, if I'm being honest. And a suck-up.

But that's fine by me. She was pretty darned cute too, and I kind of liked her.

And it did just so happen that we had a lot in common, so we ended up becoming friends over the years.

"That seems too expensive. I mean, they'd have to refrigerate that, right?"

"Oh, yeah, that's true... What else could it be, then?"

Before we could speculate any further, our biology teacher Ms. Clare walked into the classroom with a clipboard and announced, "Alright, class—you've been waiting all summer, and I have some exciting news for you!"

Ms. Clare was in her twenties, and this was her second year teaching. I had heard that she had grown up in the area but had moved away to attend college in New York City, and had only recently returned.

"After a lot of work on the building over the summer, we are finally ready to begin implementing this brand new system of discipline," she said with an unnervingly cheerful smile. "Let's go over the rules!"

She turned around and started writing on the whiteboard with a marker that squeaked every time it made contact with the surface.

- Cell phones on silent only

- Keep cell phone in bag or pocket during lesson time

- Raise hand before talking during lesson time

- No loud or repetitive noises

- No food or drinks

- No gum chewing

- No inappropriate attire (see dress code)

- No profanity or slurs

After she finished writing the last one, she turned around to face us again.

"As you should all know, there are three words which are considered just as bad as any profanity or slur in the classroom. Can anyone tell me what they are?"

Nobody raised their hands.

"Doesn't anyone know what those three words are?"

Lillian's hand shot up, which didn't surprise me all that much.

She really couldn't help herself sometimes...

"Yes, Lillian?"

"We aren't supposed to say them in the classroom, ma'am."