A/N:
Heyhey!
Did not have the time to read through it again and my phone has been glitchy af, so if there's random white lines/no spacebars at the statt of a sentence, I'm sorry, I'll fix it when I got my laptop/time 🥲
Enjoy!
~ Purple Dragon
~.~.~.~.~
Cally's pov
The first thing I did after walking into the bathroom was choking down a shit to of water. Or, well, not a shit ton. Too much would make me throw it back up again, so just enough to quench my thirst.
Felix watched me with crossed arms, barely waiting until I had finished drinking before starting the conversation. A devensive edge to his voice. "Okay then, give it to me straight, what is going on with you and that blonde log?"
"That blonde log, is called Newt. He is my friend and has saved my ass more than ones. I'd appreciate it if you try to get along."
Felix rolled his eyes, "Didn't answer my question, though."
I let out a deep, frustrated sign, rubbing my arm as I answered. "Honestly? I am not sure... Newt and I... we- well... ugh- fuck. I-" I took a deep breath, facing the shame and anxiety I felt about the whole situation and just tell him. Tell my technically still boyfriend I have feelings for someone else...
"I am waiting." Felix looked at me with a raised eyebrow, clearly not having a lot of patience today.
"Okay so here's the deal." I started, taking a deep breath in and threw all the words out together with the expelled air. "We kissed, but only in the past few days and only after Thomas told us that our lives were a simulation and I thought you weren't real."
"You kissed that guy!?" Felix accused me, barely even trying to keep his voice down. "So you cheated on me?"
"I-" It took a lot of self control not to start crying, so much had happened in the past few days and I really thought I'd never see Felix again if he existed at all. But he was right, I had cheated on him. Too many feelings came over me at ones. "I guess! A- and I am really, really sorry, Fe. But I really thought you weren't real."
Felix crossed his arms, his eyes shot fire at me, but I could tell undrneath it all he was hurt. Which did not make it any better. "That is the stupidest excuse I've ever heard."
"It's the truth!"
"Oh fuck Off!"
"I swear!" My heart pounded against my chest, as frustration built beside everything else. Pain pulsing through my wound with the blood in my body. "I mean, come on! Did you really still think I existed after finding out?"
"Finding out what, Cally?" Felix had started to pace through the room, making big movements with his arms and hands. "That you decided to throw all we had away for some- some twink!?"
I squeezed my hands into fists, trying to control myself. My voice sounded more strained then calm as I answered. "No. That our lives weren't real." Felix stopped his pacing, looking at me as if I had lost it entirely. On the positive side, he had stopped yelling, which gave me the opportunity to continue.
"Wicked put us in a simulation as a way to suppress our real memories of the world we came from. We- we- Our group didn't take well to the serums that were supposed to wipe our memory so they tricked our brains with fake ones."
In my mind, all of that made perfect sense. But apparently not to Felix. The guy stared at me a little longer, eventually he rubbed his eyes mumbling, "you've lost it."
"No, I haven't. Ask Thomas, he knows."
A scoff came from Felix, barelly acknowledging my words. "You've lost your mind in there...." He looked back at me, one hand on a hip, the other slamming down on his thigh. "You got stung, didn't you? It happened in our Maze, too. A girl got stung, they lost their shit. That's what happened, right?"
I took another deep, calming breath. I should have known this would be difficult, I just wished I would've had the time to prepare something. "Me getting stung by a Griever has nothing to do with this. Quite the opposite, it helped me understand."
My old friend stopped in his tracks, looking at me with big eyes. "Shit, you actually got stung?"
"Yes." Realizing I had his attention I continued. "And while I was passed out I saw things. A mix of what we remember and from what's out there right now. It did not make sense at the time, I thought I must have had some kind of fever indused delusions. But it became even more clear after I cut off my bracelet."
The black haired boy glanced at my wrist where a slightly bigger bracelet sat attached to my skin, clearly in one piece. "That bracelet?"
I shook my head. "No, like that one." Felix's attention went to his own wrist where a bracelet almost identical to the one I used to wear hung tight to his arm.
"The bracelet, it's weird, right? Always there, and still its like you can't really notice them until you focus." I could see his brain processing it all as he inspected the bracelet closer. Touching it. Trying to twist it, or move it up or down. It wouldn't buch.
"What the-"
"See?"
"Why can't I move it?"
"Its injecting liquids into you. Not entirely sure what they do, but I think one is there to keep supressing your memories and the other might be some kind of sedative so you don't feel that the bracelet is attached to your arm."
"It's what?" After my words sunck in, Felix started to put more strenght behind the twisting and turning, realizing there was no clip or strap to open it up.
I got up, laying a hand on his arm. "It's not going to work, just leave it until we find some tools. I managed to get mine off with some very sharp garden scissors. We can probably find something similar."
Fe his eyes switched from the bracelet to me a couple of times, his brain trying to work it out. Then, he shook his head, taking a step away from me. "Whatever! It's weird, but that doesn't prove anything."
I let out a sign, how could I prove it? He hadn't seen what I saw, he wouldn't trust Thomas, that was sure... then my eye fell on the black lettering in his neck. "What does your tattoo say?"
My dark haired friend looked at me with confused eyes for a moment, then he realized what I meant and rubbed the back of his neck.
"It says B-X, right?"
"No. It says A-X. Group B, Subject A-X10 the-" he paused for a moment before finishing his sentence in a softer voice, "The Nuance"
Oh... Not a very flattering title... I thought, making me wonder what Wicked meant by it... maybe it was because they had chosen to add him to Group B, even though it hadn't been their original plan? A slight variation?
"What does that have to do with anything?" The dark haired boy pulled me away from my thoughts.
"Everything, Fe, don't you see? Compare it to the others. Everyone else has either Group A and Subject A or B and B. Showing we have been switched around. I am Subject B-X6, meaning I should've been in group B, while you are subject A-X10, you should've been in group A." Felix stayed quiet, looking at me with a mixture of confusion and curiosity for my next words. "While no one else has an X in their code, which shows that we were part of group X, the ones with the malfunction. The ones needing constand memory suppressors. The ones whose brains needed to be tricked."
Silence followed for a short while, where Felix again had to process everything I'd said. I wondered if he would believe me. A normal person wouldn't, but Fe had been through a similar hell as I had.
A slight headache started to pound in the back of my head, accompanying my already slightly shaking body. Finding the effort it took to stay on my feet too much, I let myself slide down the cool tiles of the bathroom wall and settled on the floor. Felix watched me for a moment, making sure I was alright and not passing out again.
"Come on, Fe." I started gently, "you know things aren't right. Deep down. You know things don't add up. I didn't want to believe it either, but-" my hand reached for Ezra's necklace. He had been the one to talk me down and get me to accept the possibility... somehow I couldn't bring myself to say it. The thought of saying Ezra's name already clenched my throat shut.
I cleared my throat to get it to work again, "but I had to. It was the only thing that made sense in the end..."
With a deep sign, Felix sat down beside me, eyes closed, one arm resting on his one pulled up knee. "Fuck..."
I let out a short chuckle, "yeah, fuck." I lay my head on my friend's shoulder and he leaned his head on mine eventually. We sat there in silence while Felix could think about it all.
Releave washed over me after noticing he had calmed down. If the simulation was anything to go by Fe could be prone to fits of anger when he got upset... then again, it has been a long time since then, maybe he changed as well...
I glanced over at Fe when he moved his head away from mine, his eyes focussed on the shark tooth between my fingers, a difficult expression on his face. Quickly I tugged the necklace under my shirt in the hopes he wouldn't ask. And he didn't.
"So," Felix started. "Our lives were a lie?"
I signed, "So it seems..."
"How many were there? Like us, I mean. I know it wasn't just us. I mean, you're number 6, I am number 10. So at least ten?"
I stared at the ceiling for a moment, even this one was an absurd mint green. Less present as the bright colors in the sleeping quarters but still, so unnecessary. "Twelve, according to Thomas. Unfortunately all the other ones from my Glade were already gone when I arrived... As far as I knew, at least. Not like I talked with the other Shanks about it, except for Newt, Minho, Alby and Thomas." I did the best I could not to let my mind wonder to our former leader, especially not the way he died... We'd had our differences, but in the end he had been the one trying to sacrifice himself for the rest of us.
Fe nodded, "There weren't many in our Glen either, there were three of us, though."
A jolt of curiosity shot through me. I sat up a little straighter, leaning closer to Felix. "Really?"
"Yeah, girl. One you knew pretty well, too."
"Really? Who?"
Felix nodded, a little smirk that used to send my heart racing on his lips as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes. "Jenny."
I gasped, covering my mouth and nose with my hands. If I hadn't been this exhausted I might have jumped around in excitement. Jenny was real. My best friend was real! Immediately the realization of what that meant shot through me. "Is she? Is she okay? Did she make it?"
"She is fine. Still alive last time I saw her... she did lose an eye at some point... but still, she made it through."
"What happened to her eye?" The pure happiness I felt thinking about my best friend being alive and well got mixed with worry as I pictured the beautiful girl with her smooth skin with a gash out of her face and a missing eye.
Felix shrugged his shoulders in response, "Honestly? No fucking clue. In true Jenny fashion, she kept making up different stories when someone asked."
I couldn't help but laugh at the thought, "Do you know how I got these scars?" I asked in my best Joker impression. Making Fe laugh as well.
"Exactly like that!"
"Oh I would have loved to see that."
"Who knows, maybe you will."
My mood sunk after Fe made the comment. Was I happy to hear about Jenny? Of course. But to hope to see her again... that hope was dangerous, better not to believe it than feel the devastation when it turned out to be false hope.
"Princess?" My friend had noticed my change in mood, so I quickly shook it off and smiled back at him.
"That would be amazing."
"But first," Felix said through a sign, "we gotta get out of this fucking mess."
I mimicked his sign, "yeah, and find some fucking food."
The boy groaned, throwing his head back. "Why did you bring that up? Ignoring the hunger is hard enough as it is, I don't need your ass bringing it up again."
"Jeez, I'm sorry!"
"Yeah, as you should be."
We locked eyes and a second later we were laughing again. Gosh I had missed him...
After the laughter had died down, Fe looked at me a little more serious again. Then, he cleared his throat. "So, back to the topic of the blonde-" Fe thought for a short moment, "of Newt."
Here we go, I thought, dread filling me.
"You thought I wasn't real, but I clearly am. So... how are you gonna break it to him?"
"Well..." I dragged out, rubbing my arm while my eyes shot around the room.
"Oh," Felix realized, "shit you are breaking it to me, aren't you?"
I wrapped my arms around my torso, glancing up at him, "I'm sorry. I just..."
"Don't love me like you did yesterday?" I know Felix was being serious and I shouldn't have chuckled, but how could I now when he made a My Chemical Romance reverence? And maybe he knew that.
"Yeah... exactly. I just, I've changed a lot the past few months." I still could barely look the guy in the eye, but it seems like he took it better than I'd expected.
"Well, so have I. So maybe it's for the better." I believed he meant at least part of what he'd said, but I still noticed the hurt in his voice and the quick way he wiped his eyes even though he tried to hide it.
"So, uh," Felix started a little harsher now. "Do you love him?"
Oh, "Ummm." I laughed uncomfortably, "I don't know... it's all still pretty new and well-"
"Ah, okay." Fe interrupted me, "so you're breaking up with me for a maybe?"
What the fuck? A moment ago he was understanding, what is this? Frustration started to boil in me, normally I would have been more patient but the hunger was not bugging helping. "Te fuck? No. Felix, I'm breaking up with you because I-"
"I know," he interrupted me again. "I know, I was just messing with you."
Frustration made place for embarrassment. "Oh... well you had stupid timing."
He shrugged it off. "Shall we rejoin the rest, before this gets any more awkward?"
I signed, my body feeling lighter and ten times heavier from exhaution at the same time. "Got that."
Fe helped me get up, "ond more thing." I started, my memories going back to the Changing, to this little, brave girl with dirty blonde hair that had been with me, Ez and Newt. "Was there a girl in your Maze called Izzy?"
"Izzy?" Fe questioned, seeming to think about it.
"Yes, dirty blonde hair, brown eyes."
Eventually, Felix shook his head no. "Not that I know of. Why?"
I shrugged, "I remember her, but, I don't know her... I feel like she is important somehow."
"Freaky." Fe commented, leaving it at that. And so did I. I figured asking wouldn't make a difference, seeing I'm not even sure if Izzy was her name, or maybe it got changed like ours. We all had different names in that dream- or memory... if I only knew the name Wicked had given her... but ow well. Can't really do anything about it.
After Felix helped me take another sip of water, he then let me lean on him while we walked back into the sleeping dorm. We got some strange looks from some Shanks, but I didn't care. Then I made eyecontact with Newt, his expression a mix of emotions I could not place before Clint blocked the way standing in front of Felix and me.
"Do you have a bugging death wish, shank?" Clint scolded me the moment he noticed the state I was in.
"Not specifically..." I mumbled, looking up at my Keeper while biting down on my lip. I should've known better and I knew he knew that.
Clint signed, "go lay down and rest. If you pass out again because of your own bugging stupidity don't come crying to me for help."
I saluted him, laying back down on one of the beds. Immediately my exhaustion hit me, my limbs feeling heavy, my wound pounding in sinc with the headache. I wanted to talk to Newt, clear things up with him too. He looked so conflicted... but maybe Clint was right, rest first... and before I knew it, my eyes closed and I had fallen back into a dreamless sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Lost - Scorch Trials (♡Newt) 《Slow Updates》
Fanfiction"Who you are, is just what you've got. What will you become when they take from you almost everything?" - MCR ~ Sequel to A Way Back ~ Cally survived the Maze, only to find herself in yet another crazy chain of tests. Together with her friends she s...
