The moment the fog had cleared a new wave of chaos existing of questions and argument erupted. Cally, not interested in any of it, shook Felix's arm off and made her way to the place Rat man had disappeared from. Careful at first, not wanting to run head first into another invisible wall, until she realized it really was gone.
She let her hands slide over the smooth wall. If she could believe the man's words, which she doubted, they could manipulate their minds. Or at least their optic nerve. Or their actual brains. Either way, the wall could be another trick. Maybe if she pushed hard enough, convinced her brain nothing stood between her and where she wanted to go, she could push through.
It didn't work.
As she pushed against the wall with her hands and all the limited strength her body had collected since having had an actual meal she realized it was pointless. Annoyed with herself for even trying she let herself lean back against the wall. It made a lot more sense if the invisible wall had been a trick, or maybe the guy and his desk hadn't even been there to begin with. Maybe they just showed them some kind of advanced hologram, like in Star Wars, but less blue.
The discussion on what to do went on around her, and although Cally already had the feeling no matter what anyone said, when push came to shove all the Gladers would walk through that Flat Trans at six in the morning. Unless...
"What if all of us just don't go through?" Cally spoke up, the group of Gladers closest to her paused mid argument to look at her. "What are they gonna do?"
"Uhh, did you not pay attention there, Cally?" The ridicule in Winston's voice did not go unnoticed. "They will kill us."
"Will they? I mean think about it. They went through all this to collect us, wiping our memories, creating the Maze and this Scorch or whatever it is- spending all the world's resources just to put us to the test. Do you really think that after all of that, they will kill all of us, just because we won't jump through one of their hoops? They need us. At least that's what that guy said. To 'safe the human race' or whatever. They got one other group, sure, but would they really waste half of their precious lab rats if they really need us that badly?"
Silence followed as the boys around her exchanged glances, considering her words. Some murmurs started but eventually it was Frypan who responded. "Sound theory, Shank, but I rather not take that risk."
"No, hold up, maybe we should." From all people Cally hadn't really expected Brandon to agree with her, but the guy surprised her. "We've been playing into their hands from the start. And no matter what we do we are still playing their game. Well I say we quit playing all together."
"Say they don't kill us, what then?" The Keeper of the Cooks questioned. "The Creators ain't just gonna let us walk out, no way."
"Exactly." Winston agreed with his fellow Keeper. "What if they wipe our memories again throw us back in the Glade, start the whole pile of klunk all over again."
A whole new kind of discussion erupted at that premise. Most shanks absolutely terrified for being thrown back in the dark with no memories, no sens of self. Alone and afraid. Apparently that seemed more terrifying than dying or going through the Flat Trans into the unknown of the Scorch.
Not able to process all the different voices merging together like the overwhelming static of a beehive, Cally slipped away back into the smaller sleeping quarters.
They probably wouldn't throw them back into the Maze, but she wouldn't put it past WICKED to erase their memories and separate them, maybe put them into another test, or maybe something more like a simulation. But would that be better then whatever was waiting on them now?
Although most of the Gladers had not left the main room and no one seemed to be hiding out between the many beds, Cally did hear very familiar voices coming from the open door to the bathroom. Of course she had noticed Thomas, Minho and Newt hadn't been a part of the discussion, although she hadn't seen them leaving the room.
"Tommy," even if Cally hadn't known Newt's voice by heart at this point, she could have told it was him speaking purely through the fact that no one else called the guy Tommy, "you went through the Changing, got some of your memories back. How much of this stuff do you remember?"
"I don't know. I can't really picture the actual world outside of what it was like being involved with the people I helped design the Maze. Most of it's either faded again or just gone. I've had a couple of weird dreams, but nothing that helps."
"Yeah I figured." She could hear the defeated sign through the blonde's words. "Would've been too bloody good to be true." Almost automatically Cally had started to make her way towards her friends' voices, only to hesitate pushing against the ajar door hearing Thomas's next words.
"You know, I'm not the only one in here who's been through the Changing." He started carefully, seeming unable to estimate his friend's responses to that statement. Of course Cally did not need an elaboration to know he meant her. She's the only other Glader still with them who had the same experience going through that hell. Still, unable to walk away or interrupt, the girl took a step to the side, leaning against the wall beside the door. "Maybe we should ask Cally-"
"No way." Minho immediately shot back.
"Absolutely not." Newt responded at the same time.
"Why not? She might know something that can help."
"You know bugging well why not, Tommy. Cally's memories are a bloody mess right now."
"Not just her memories." Minho did not hesitate to add to his friend's statement with a scoff. "The shank's unstable."
Cally's breath hitched, a painful jolt shooting through her. Unstable?
"Minho." Newt bit at him.
"What?" Minho shot back. "She's barely able to stay on her feet by herself, she barely speaks, keeps kind of staring into nothingness and everyone saw how she snapped at Rat man just now. Don't tell me you think she's the most reliable source of information. Especially now we know that most of her memories were a hot, steaming pile of klunk in the first place." He spoke as if every word he said was an undeniable fact. And although they stung more than she'd like to admit, she couldn't deny them either.
She wasn't a reliable source of information and definitely far from stable. Both physically and emotionally. Cally knew that. But still, hearing that the people she relied on most right now saw her in the same way hurt more than the pulsing wound in her side.
"Come on, Shank." A bit of hope that Newt would at least defend her made her look up, peaking through the slit between the open door and the wall, blinking away the weld up tears to be able to see better. "Cals's dealing with a lot right now, it's gonna be a while 'till she's back to normal. Just give the shank some time."
"Except we don't really have much time now, do we? We're gonna have to go through that thing in the morning, and she's gonna have to be able to handle it."
"She will handle it just fine." Even from the other side of the door Cally could hear the doubt in his statement. And so did Minho, the guy scoffed in response, placing his hands on his hips.
"About as fine as she's handling everything else, right?"
"Okay, I get it." Thomas interrupted the two, noticing their growing frustration and not wanting anything to escalate any further. He should've known not to bring up Cally in their conversation, from the moment he'd gotten out of the Box whenever he did he either ended up being told off or it ended up in some sort of discussion. "Don't ask Cally until she's more... herself."
The conversation of the three boys continued on about what the man in white had said, what to do and a bunch of other things Cally did not pay any attention to. Her desire to join her friends gone, instead she just stood there beside the door, not sure what to do. The words from the three boys echoing through her mind, filling her with so many different emotions, shame, guilt, hurt, she didn't know what to do except from rubbing her arms in an attempt to calm herself down.
They thought she was a mess, unstable. Unreliable. True? Maybe. But Minho had a point. She had to be ready when they went through the Flat Trans in the morning. What if someone needed her and she couldn't even move? Chuck had needed her. When he lay there with a knife sticking out of his chest. And what did she do? Go to him? Press a cloth to the wound? Hold his hand to let him know he wasn't alone? No. She had just sat there. Staring. Unable to look away. Unable to move. Unable to help. She couldn't afford something like that happening again. She needed to be there. To be ready. There was no more room to spiral into herself. No matter how she felt, no matter the circumstances, she had to be useful. Above all she had to show her friends that they could rely on her like they had before, like she did with them. She couldn't be a burden any longer.
Trying to stop the slight tremble in her body Cally took a few deep breaths, wiping some water from her eyes and brushing her hands through her hair. Even though she rather curl up in a ball and hide from the world underneath a blanket for the remaining day they had beds, she pushed against the door and walked into the bathroom.
"What are you girls gossiping about in here?" She asked in what she hoped to be a convincing lighthearted joking tone.
The three seemed surprised to see her walk in, but they recovered quickly enough. Minho breathed in no doubt to give some kind of sarcastic comment, only for Newt to speak up first. "Just talkin' about the stuff we gotta figure out."
"Great. Because I am done sitting on my hands. What needs to be done?"
A short moment where Minho and Newt exchanged a look where Newt seemed to say something along the lines of I told you so, before he continued, speaking not just to her but to all of them. "I need help to make sure the bloody food's not gone before we leave tomorrow. Something tells me we're gonna need it."
"You're right. Are people still chowing down out there?"
Cally shook her head at Thomas's question. "Nope, not since Clint and Jeff went around. Besides I'm pretty sure Fry took charge of the rest of the food."
"That shank's religious about food." Newt commented, shaking his head in amusement.
Cally chuckled, "you're not wrong."
"Wouldn't be surprised if he's just glad to have somethin' to be the boss about again. But I'm scared people might get panicky and try to eat it anyway." Newton continued a bit more seriously.
"Oh, come on." Minho chimed in. "Those of us who made it this far got here for a reason. All the idiots are dead by now."
Involuntarily Ezra's dead eyes and Chuck's bleeding body flashed through Cally's mind, together with a surge of anger towards Minho for talking like that about their friends.
Not able to believe the idiocy of that comment Newt glared at Minho and as if only then realizing what he'd said, Minho's eyes shifted to Cally, checking the damage he'd done this time.
In truth the girl's first instinct was to yell at the guy and walk out, instead she reminded herself of what she remembered what they'd just said about her. She had to switch back to how she would have acted back in the Glade, no more closing off, no more spiraling. So she resisted the urge to take a hold of Ezra's necklace, instead she took a deep breath and through a slightly clenched jaw she met Minho's eyes. "You would think so, and yet, you're still here."
For once, Minho had no remark back. He wanted to, but something in the girl's eyes stunned him to silence for a moment. He was used to insulting remarks from his honorary sister, he always knew she didn't mean them, not really, just as he didn't really mean the ones thrown at her. This time though, he couldn't tell.
The short silence got interrupted when Thomas, apparently having decided that Cally indeed had been joking, chuckled. Lightening the mood ever so slightly. Taking the opportunity to change the subject, Newt spoke up again. "Anyway, I was thinking we need to get organized, get things back together. Act like we did in the bloody Glade. Last few days have been miserable, no structure, no plan. It's driving me psycho." Minho and Cally both turned their attention back to their blonde friend, Minho glanced back ones in an attempt to try and read her better. Only for Newt's words to process in his brain, distracting him from his previous thoughts.
"What'd you expect us to do? Form up in lines and do push ups? We're stuck in a stupid three-room prison."
A little frustrated at Minho's remark and apparent determination to disagree with him today Newt swatted in his general direction. "Whatever. I'm just saying things are obviously going to change tomorrow and we better be ready to face it."
Just like Cally, Thomas noticed Newt had a bit of trouble making his actual point. "What are you getting at?" The brown haired boy questioned.
Newt paused as he looked from Thomas to Minho and Cally before deciding on his next words. "We need to make sure we have a solid leader when tomorrow comes. There can't be any doubt who's in charge."
"That's the lamest shuck-faced thing you've ever barked." Minho responded before Cally or Thomas had even really processed what he'd meant. "You're our leader, and you know it. We all know it."
"Exactly." Cally agreed with no hesitation. Only Newt was already shaking his head no before she could get halfway through the word.
"Being' hungry make you forget the bloody tattoos? You think they're just decorations?"
"Oh come on." Minho retorted. "You really think it means anything? They're just playing with our heads!"
"Minho's right, they're just another of their precious bugging variables they're using to fuck with us-" While Cally talked, Newt stepped towards Minho and pulled his collar down, showcasing the black lettering engraved into his skin as if to prove his point. Not having it, Minho snapped back at him with his hand first following it up with more of his infamous sarcastic remarks.
The annoyed sign coming from Cally did not get noticed by any of the others. Newt seemed determined to follow the new titles they were given by WICKED. She didn't exactly know what his tattoo said, but if it was anything like hers, she might understand why he struggled with it. But how could she make him see how wrong he was about taking them seriously?
Then, an idea popped into her brain, and without really thinking it through, she interrupted the full-blown discussion between Newt and Minho with a question. "Do you guys think I'm a nuisance?"
The pause that followed made Cally panic on the inside. Of course they did. She'd just heard them talk about how they couldn't trust her to even know the difference between real or fake memories. Right as she pressed her lips together, ready to make an awkward exit, Minho and Newt seemed to have recovered from the random change of topic. Protesting almost louder than they'd been arguing.
"Are you both insisting on being the absolute biggest shuck-faced slintheads today? Of course not!"
"Why would you even think that?" Newt asked a little more gently, turning towards the young woman with a mixture of confusion and concern in his face.
Trying not to show her relief too much, Cally crossed her arms over her chest, meeting Newt's eyes. "Well, that's what my tattoo says. Nuisance. Or, well, The Nuisance." She swept all her hair over one shoulder and turned around, pulling her own collar down to make sure they saw it. "But if you guys weren't bugging lying to me to spare my feelings," the girl turned back around, arms also crossed over her chest again. "We can all agree that the tattoos are bullshit. I mean, why would we listen to the titles those fucking assholes gave us?"
"Couldn't agree more." Minho, their little disagreement from before forgotten, lay his arm over Cally's shoulder in a side hug. "Shug those tattoos and shug those Creators."
"Yeah, Newt." Cally, seeing the deep frown on Newt's forehead despite him not looking them in the eyes, reached for his hand, softly squeezing it. "You're our leader. We'll follow you through that Flat Trans into the Scorch or wherever it leads. Or at least I will." When Newt finally met Cally's eyes, she saw the mixture of discomfort and conflict in them.
She cocked her head a little to the side, brows crossing in confusion. Had she said something wrong? "Unless..." She started carefully, hoping her guess to be right and the discomfort hadn't been from her holding his hand. Still, she let go just to be sure, crossing her arms over her chest yet again. "...you don't want to lead?"
Something seemed to be having an effect on their leader, however, Minho did not give Newt time to respond. "Don't be stupid. Of course he wants to. He's been our shug leader since Alby lost his mind to the Changing."
Newt rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands before letting them fall back against his thighs. "I just don't think I'm the best bloody choice."
"Oh, slim it, shuck face." Minho bit back, starting to lose his patience. "Of course you are."
"I wasn't the one to take charge in there, shuttin' them all up, you did." Newt shot back, seeming done with his friend not taking his concerns seriously. "Or when we needed to find clean bandages for Cals. That was you too. I might've been decent at playin' leader back in the Glade, but out here it's clear that ya are the better option."
"That's ridiculous- Cally, talk sense into this shugging shuck face."
"Fine," Newt also crossed his arms, turning his attention to the only girl among them. "Cals, what do ya think?"
In a desperate attempt at getting help from someone, she tried making eye contact with Thomas, only to realize they'd lost him to his own thoughts long ago. Not knowing what to do Cally's eyes switched from Minho to Newt. Something definitely made Newt think he couldn't be their leader, or maybe he just simply didn't want to. When they'd spend that night in the kitchen, the night before Minho and Alby would go into the Maze, Newt hadn't seemed happy about being leader, not even for a single day. Then the night after that, she'd gotten the impression he really did not want to be in charge at all. But did that mean Minho should lead them instead? Besides, how could she agree that Minho should be in charge without agreeing to Newt's statement? Because no matter what her blonde friend said, she did think he was the best choice for the job. She just wished Minho had given Newt the space to respond to her question so she knew what to say.
Eventually, Cally just shook her head with a deep, tired sign. Her eyes fell longingly on the shower in the far back of the bathroom.
"You know what I think?" The two boys leaned in, waiting for her response. "That I can use a fucking shower." Not giving them the time to send an annoyed response, Cally continued with her hands half raised. "Look, it doesn't matter what I think. Because whoever ends up leading us will need to want that responsibility. So you guys will have to stop bickering and actually communicate like adults and figure out which one of you is going to lead us. But if it helps," she added quickly, sounding a bit more gentle, "I'll support either of you."
Then, Cally turned to Thomas, who'd been zoned out for most of their conversation, a look of worry in his features. She wondered what had him so worked up, but she decided not to ask and instead patted his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. "Except for you - no offence."
"What?" Thomas questioned, completely lost as Cally started pushing him and the other two boys out of the bathroom. "What'd she mean by that?" He asked Minho and Newt as they now stood outside of the room, hearing the door's lock being turned into place with a soft click. The two exchanged a look, before jumping right back to their discussion without giving Thomas's question as much as an second thought.
~.~.~
YOU ARE READING
Lost - Scorch Trials (♡Newt) 《Slow Updates》
Fanfiction"Who you are, is just what you've got. What will you become when they take from you almost everything?" - MCR ~ Sequel to A Way Back ~ Cally survived the Maze, only to find herself in yet another crazy chain of tests. Together with her friends she s...
