SPY X FAMILY - OPERATION BIG BROTHER?!

Negotiations

It was a quiet Saturday morning, and Loid was enjoying a rare moment of peace. He sat on the couch with a newspaper in hand, sipping his coffee while pretending not to notice Anya, who was pacing around the living room, clearly up to something. Her pink hair bobbed with each step as she furrowed her brow in thought, muttering to herself in a way that only Anya could.

Loid had learned that when she was like this, it usually meant trouble. Still, he kept his eyes on the paper, hoping that maybe—just maybe—she would let him enjoy his coffee without launching into some elaborate scheme.

Anya finally stopped pacing and marched up to him, her expression as serious as a six-year-old could manage. "Papa, I need to talk to you."

Loid folded his newspaper and looked down at her. "What is it, Anya?"

She puffed out her cheeks, her tiny fists planted firmly on her hips. "I want a brother."

Loid blinked, momentarily taken aback by the sudden demand. "A brother?"

Anya nodded, her face dead serious. "Yes, a cool brother. Like... like Damien's older brother!" she declared, thinking of the Desmond boy she'd overheard talking about his sibling.

Loid sighed, realizing they were back to the "brother" conversation again. "Anya, we've talked about this. You can't just ask for a brother like you're ordering dessert. It's not that simple."

But Anya had clearly come prepared. She took a deep breath and raised a hand, finger pointed dramatically in the air like she was about to reveal her masterstroke. "If I don't get a brother... I'll start being really bad at school!"

Loid nearly spit out his coffee. "Excuse me?"

Anya crossed her arms, nodding with fierce determination. "That's right! No more homework! I'll mess up on purpose, and... and I won't even listen to the teachers anymore! I'll turn into a troublemaker!"

Loid set his coffee down, trying to process this ridiculous "threat." "Anya, you can't blackmail me into giving you a sibling. Besides, being good at school is important for you, not just for... getting things you want."

Anya pouted, her determination unwavering. "But Papa! You don't understand! I'll be so bad that I'll get in big trouble! I'll call Damien ugly! I'll even... I'll even throw my lunch on the floor!"

Loid pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to laugh at how absurd this was becoming. "Anya, you know behaving badly won't get you what you want. And throwing your lunch on the floor won't do anything but make a mess."

Anya leaned in closer, her eyes wide with frantic, childlike intensity. "But if I don't get a brother, I'll keep doing it! And then the teachers will have to call you! And you'll have to come to school and talk to them every day! And I'll be the worst kid ever!"

Loid's calm exterior cracked just a bit. The thought of having to deal with school meetings because of Anya's antics was... not appealing. He sighed, realizing she was more serious about this than he'd thought.

"Anya," he said patiently, "we can't just adopt a brother because you want one. It doesn't work that way. You're already doing well at school, and we're proud of you. But you don't need a sibling to keep being good."

Anya stared up at him, her cheeks puffing out in frustration, but she knew she was losing the argument. "But... but what if I really throw my lunch? Or what if I make weird noises in class? You'll be so embarrassed!"

Loid raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her new tactic. "Anya, this isn't a game. You know you can't just threaten to misbehave to get what you want."

Anya crossed her arms defiantly, her pink eyebrows knitted together. "I will! I'll be the worst! Just imagine it! I'll make everyone know that i'm  bad and messy! All because I don't have a brother!"

Loid couldn't help but chuckle, partly at her dramatics but mostly at how seriously she was taking this. "Anya, you really think throwing lunch will help your case?"

"Yes!" she declared, her voice rising. "And I'll tell everyone that you're the worst Papa ever if you don't get me a brother! Just watch!"

Loid sighed, realizing he was outmatched in this ridiculous negotiation. "Alright, Anya. Let's just talk about this sensibly. We can't just adopt someone on a whim."

Anya grinned triumphantly, seeing that she was getting under his skin. "So, if I start acting bad today, it'll be your fault, Papa! I'll even start pulling hair! Maybe I'll pull Damien's! Then you'll have to explain to his dad!"

"Anya, please don't threaten me with hair-pulling!" Loid exclaimed, half-laughing, half-exasperated.

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Anya plopped down next to him, her demeanor shifting. "Okay, okay. But I still want a brother! You think it would be cool, right?"

Loid rubbed his temples, trying to think of a way to diffuse the situation. "How about we make a deal? If you promise to behave today and do well in school, I'll think about it. But I can't make any promises."

"Deal."