Sparkle | HoonSuk

ch 17

“This is bad. Real bad,” Jihoon said. “How can I let myself get swayed by him? Without even realizing, I keep following him with my eyes. When he’s not around, I will look for him. And I keep on letting him do anything he wants without even being able to refuse. How bad can I be? And now he's not contacting me for weeks and I still keep looking for him,” 

Sungchan and Yujin looked at each other before looking back at their friend. Earlier, Jihoon asked them if they were free because he wanted to drink together since his exam had just finished. 

“Okay. So, you called us here not to celebrate that you just finished your exam. But to rant about your love life? Seriously?” Yujin asked.

“It's not even love. Just life,” Jihoon said.

“Is it about the same guy who stole your first kiss and you have a dream that you slept with him after he asked you to sleep with him?” Yujin asked.

“They have slept together already,” Sungchan said. 

“What? Wow. That's great. You're not a virgin anymore, Park Jihoon. Congratulations,” Yujin said.

“What to congratulate about that? I lost my virginity to a guy. It's a guy who took my virginity,” Jihoon said. “And I was okay with that,”

“If you are okay with that, why are you ranting?” Yujin asked.

“I have always imagined myself having my first even girlfriend. Went on dates. Sharing our first kiss. And after that, sex. But now. Nothing was even on the right track. It's not my first girlfriend who is my first kiss. Not even a girl. We are not even in a relationship. Let alone go on a date. But we went straight away to sleep together. What the hell is happening in my life?” Jihoon asked. “I don't think I can even control myself. How can I keep on wanting to see him, keep looking for him? I'm supposed to be happy when he has stopped bothering me, shouldn't I?”

“Definitely whipped,” Sungchan said.

“Agreed,” Yujin supported.

“No. Yah. That will never happen. I did not like him at all,” Jihoon said.

“Okay. Have you ever liked someone? Have you ever had a crush on someone?” Yujin asked.

“Of course I did,”

“Okay. Tell me one name of your crush. That's not a celebrity, anime character or porn star,” Yujin said. Jihoon tried to find an answer but it took him more than a minute to even get any answers. Which he still couldn't find the answer. “See?”

“That doesn't mean that I like him,” Jihoon said.

“All the things you told us, describing that you have a crush on him. Positively is. Why? You keep on wanting to see him. Despite you- I mean, your claim that the two of you are different, you still keep letting him do whatever he wants to you. You said you hated it but in reality you like it,” Sungchan said.

“Hey. I really didn't like it, okay,”

“And keep on looking for him? Ranting because he didn't contact you for weeks? Why? Are you afraid that he will get bored with you and find someone else? If you didn't like him, you didn't even care about it and are glad that he's not bothering you already,” Sungchan said. “But in this situation, it seems like you're hoping to get bothered by him. So, you definitely like him,”

“Agh! I don't know!” Jihoon said, pour another shot of the alcohol and drink it.

“What if you try to ask him out?” Yujin asked.