A Safe Haven

14

Nakasuot lang ako ng high waist black pants at sweatshirt na white. Halata na talaga ang baby bump ko.

Malakas ang hangin sa labas na dinaig pa ang lamig ng pasko.

Nakatayo ako sa harap ng pinto ng condo ni Rick at bumilis bigla ang tibok ng puso ko.

Ilang weeks na ang lumipas simula nung umalis ako. Pero may isang bagay sa'kin na hindi makalayo—hindi ang mga salitang binigkas ni Nanay Bella na umaalingawngaw pa din sa isipan ko.

Bumalik na si Nanay Bella sa probinsya nya at hindi man lang sya nagtagal dito dahil kailangan din sya ng mga anak nya.

Huminga ako ng malalim at kumatok ng mahina, medyo nanginginig pa ang kamay ko. Matagal bago tuluyang bumukas ang pinto at tumambad sa'kin si Rick.

When I saw him, I sighed.

He was like a shadow of the man I knew before. His eyes were hollow with dark circles under them, his hair was tangled, and his clothes were wrinkled as if he hadn't bothered to change in days. It was clear that he was neglecting himself.

"Leila," napabuntong hininga sya, halos pabulong lang ang boses nya.

Bago pa man ako makapagsalita ay inabot na nya ako, niyakap nya ako ng mahigpit at ang mga braso nya'y pumulupot sa'kin na para bang ayaw na akong pakawalan. Ibinaon nya ang kanyang mukha sa leeg ko at naramdaman ko ang nanginginig na paghinga nya sa balat ko. Pagkatapos, naramdaman ko ang init ng kanyang mga luha na pumatak sa damit ko.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, nanginginig ang boses sa bigat ng lahat ng pinipigilan nya.

Saglit akong nakatayo doon at nawala ang kaninang lamig ko sa yakap nya.

Dahan-dahan kong itinaas ang mga braso ko, dahan-dahang ipinatong ang aking mga kamay sa likod nya, sinusubukang patatagin ang sarili kong malakas ang pagtibok ng puso.

"I-It’s okay, Rick," I whispered, my voice trembling. "We’re both a mess, but... I’m here now. I'm not... leaving anymore." putol-putol kong sambit.

Humigpit ang hawak nya, ramdam ko ang lungkot na nararamdaman nya at ang pagod. Nagu-guilt ako sa sarili ko.

We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, standing in the doorway, holding each other as if the world beyond us didn't exist.

Eventually, Rick's sobs died down, and he pulled back slightly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. His expression was a mixture of relief and guilt, but there was something softer in his gaze.

"Why did you come back?" he asked, voice rough but serious.

I swallowed hard. "I don’t know, exactly. Maybe because... I couldn’t keep running away forever. Maybe because I thought you needed me, and I guess I needed to see if I still needed you too."

Dahan-dahang tumango si Rick.

Pinaupo ko sya sa sofa para paglutuan sya dahil mukha syang matamlay.

I glanced over at him, the shadows under his eyes more pronounced than I remembered. Without saying much, I moved into the kitchen.

The silence between us was comfortable, a quiet understanding that we both needed a moment to process everything that had happened.

Binuksan ko ang refrigerator at pinagmasdan ang kakaunting laman nito, may nakita akong leftover chicken, vegetables, at isang carton ng mga eggs na hindi pa expired. Inilabas ko ang mga ito at nagpasyang mag-stir-fry.

Nanatili si Rick sa living room, pero ramdam ko ang kanyang mga mata sa akin habang nagluluto ako. Buti nalang talaga, marunong ako magluto kahit walang nagtuturo sa'kin.

The clinking of utensils and the steady rhythm of my knife against the cutting board filled the space, providing a strange sort of comfort.

I glanced up to find Rick standing at the kitchen doorway, leaning against the frame. He looked like he had something to say but was struggling to find the right words.

"You don’t have to do this, you know," he murmured, his voice softer than usual.

I shrugged, focusing on the food in front of me. "I want to. Besides, you look like you haven’t had a decent meal in days."

He chuckled, the sound a little rough but genuine. "You’re not wrong."

Humakbang sya palapit, lumipat sa kabilang side ng counter habang nililipat ko ang mga ingredients sa isang mainit na pan.

It chased away the heaviness that had settled between us, replacing it with a warmth that neither of us wanted to name just yet.

Abala si Rick sa pag-aayos ng table, ang kanyang mga paggalaw ay mabagal na para bang ninanamnam nya ang kamunduhan ng gawain.

Kakaiba ang pakiramdam na makita syang ganito— napaka-unguarded at vulnerable. Hindi sya si Rick na nakasanayan ko, ang isa na palaging may mapanlinlang na comments o isang matalinong quip para panatilihin ang mga bagay sa haba ng braso.

It was almost domestic, the way he pull out glasses from the cupboard and I handed him plates.

When dinner was ready, I brought the dishes to the table—steaming bowls of stir-fry, a side of rice, and the eggs I'd managed to scrape into something decent. Rick pulled me a chair, a small but thoughtful gesture that made my heart skip a beat. We sat across from each other, the clatter of utensils breaking the silence between us.

The first bites were quiet. I saw Rick savoring every bite, his shoulders relaxed as he finally let himself enjoy the simple meal. It's not much, but the act of sharing a meal together feels like a small step toward something new.

"This is really good, Leila," he said after a moment, looking up from his plate with a genuine smile.

"It’s just stir-fry. Nothing fancy."

As we continued to eat, the conversation gradually became lighter. We talked about mundane things— how the weather was getting colder, the changes happening in the city, and even the latest TV shows he was binge-watching.

It feels weird talking like this, almost like we're old friends catching up, but it's kind of weird I'll get used to it.

Just as I thought we might be turning, Rick's phone rang on the table, breaking the quiet silence. He glanced at the screen, and I caught a flicker of something in his expression—irritation, perhaps, or anxiety. He quickly silenced the call, wordlessly putting the phone back in his pocket.

"Who was that?" I asked, unable to keep the curiosity from creeping into my voice.

Rick hesitated, running a hand through his hair. "Just work. Nothing important."

I didn't push any further, but the moment lingered, a small crack in the newfound peace between us.

I wonder if he's still keeping things from me, secrets that might come back to haunt us later. But for now, I decided to let it slide, focused instead on the food in front of us.