We're Surviving

55 3 1
                                    

Trigger warning ⚠️: self harm, implied eating disorder, temporary running away.

Sorry if it seems choppy at the end, combined two stories.

Nick got outed to his brother because of me. How can I be that stupid! Even worse mum is so pissed at me for sneaking out, I can't take it anymore. Mum's yelling, Ollie's on the stairs with Tori I can hear him crying from all the shouting, "That's it!" I screamed throwing whatever I was holding, I ran slamming the door behind me. I ran till I came to a small park, my stomach was roaring my throat was dry, I wasn't even wearing shoes for crying out loud. I put my headphones in and kept walking going miles all throughout the night, I couldn't care less I was to far from anyone so I couldn't seek refuge aside from just keep walking. The sun rose and fell in an enchanting array of colours. Would anyone have even noticed?

The rain started pouring, I forgot a coat guess I'll keep walking I went on till I came to our beach, the café is still open so I sat under the shelter looking out at the sea. Straining I heard the news, "Concerns are growing for missing teen 15 year old Charlie Spring," they used the photo Nick had taken early in the day when they were playing with Nellie, "The photo was taken the day he was seen running out of his parents door. He is believed to be extremely distressed and is advised to not approach him but to call 9-9-9 or 1-1-1 to report your sighting," eyes turned to lock with me as multiple phones were pulled out.

Not even ten minutes later two police officers sat either side of me, "Hi Charlie," one said softly, "You have your parents very worried," "They don't care," "They do Charlie they've been up the poll worried sick, your little brother, sister and boyfriend are as well they've been out searching since you ran off," one was doing all the talking, "Lets get you somewhere safer Charlie," "Now do you have anything on you that could hurt me or you," shaking I pulled my sleeves up to reveal the nicks, and slices blood dried to my sleeve and arms, "Did you do this to yourself?" "The blade is in my back pocket," I reached down to pull it out, hands shaking. The officer took the blade and put it in a clear plastic evidence bag.

With a firm hand the officer guided me to his car, he thinks I didn't hear what he said but I did, "What should we do, do we wait for an ambulance because of the cuts or do we take him there ourselves, or do we just take him home," I slam my head into the glass demanding to be set free. I managed to get the door open somehow and tried to make a run for it but I was caught to quickly, fast as I am I couldn't run anymore. "You're going to be okay Charlie, it's got to get better. Hospital," the officer answered his own question.

72 hour psychiatric hold, they gave me hospital scrubs and took my clothes, choking hazard apparently. A nurse came through and examined my cuts, some needed stitches, some needed bandages and some were completely fine to leave open, she cut my nails down after noticing I used them to scratch open the scabs. No visitors meant so no 'how are you?' From people who pretend to care. The same nurse brought food in three times a day, I didn't touch it, I couldn't touch it. I spent all day silent staring out the window. Watching the world pass by and move on, without me.

"Charlie?" Someone asked from the door, I turned to face the door, I hadn't said a word since I told them where to find the blade. It was Geoff! "Heard your on a hunger strike," I avoided eye contact, "Come on Charlie," "I'm sorry," the words tumbled from my lips In nothing more than a quiet whisper, if Geoff wasn't looking at me he very well wouldn't have heard me, "What happened?" "Mum found out I had snuck out again, I was coming in from seeing Nick. Nick got outed to his brother because of me, mum was shouting, Oliver was crying," I wiped the tears away, I wanted to be in my own clothes again, I want to see Tori, "I just snapped and bolted, I didn't even have shoes," I was now laughing and crying. Geoff just let me talk for however long we talked, he was writing somethings down. "You're going home by the end of the day, you're not a danger to yourself Charlie but we do need to talk further," Geoff explained, I was just hungry, though it wasn't much I had a sandwich and fruit juice it was more than previously.

Tori and dad were in the waiting room, they'd brought in shoes for me thank god. I ran straight into there arms. I just wanted to go home, I just want to see Nick again.

I looked in the mirror and drew a deep breath, I was stood so close that my exhale fogged the glass. Scars plagued my skin and my ribs were still visible but they were slowly fading away. "Hey," Nick whispered approaching me from behind, "Hey," I whispered back, "What are you looking at?" Nick asked pulling us back from the mirror, "Me, us, I don't know why I just was," I sighed, Nick traced my scars and ribs with such a gentle touch, "I survived," I whispered almost crying, "You're a fighter Charlie thats why," "We're surviving together, you're not alone anymore Charlie," Nick whispered, "I love you so much Charlie," "I love you too Nick." 

Heartstopper OneshotsWhere stories live. Discover now