Heartstopper Oneshots

We Ain't Angry At You, Love

(you'll be far, far from here) 

Nick sat on the edge of their bed, Charlie was still bringing in boxes from the car, mainly stuff like winter clothing that they did not need it the humid early July. "Hey Nicholas use you're big strong rugby arms and help me!" Charlie laughed before tripping over their excited Labrador Daisy dancing at his feet, he dropped the boxes understandably and was caught in the loving arms of Nick Nelson. "You alright?" Nick asked sitting on the floor so they weren't at an awkward angle, "Yeah what was in there?" Charlie asked, he reached forward to pick up a familiar cover, flicking it open together they were met with Nick's 17th birthday present the photo album Charlie had made. Nick had obviously filled it and the most recent one must have been a solid five years ago when Charlie flew out to join Nick in the states. Nick had done Camp America that summer and Charlie worked his butt off that summer to save up enough to fly out to meet Nick in North California where he was. They then did an eight hour bus with several other people Nick had met at camp to San Francisco, it was a photo of them in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.

A letter fell out of the back though, Nick seemed to jump but Charlie already had it in his hands. "Nick what is this?" Charlie gasped, "When you were really bad when you were 15, I didn't know how to verbalise how I felt so I wrote these letters but only sent the one which I know you saved," Charlie turned the paper over, "Read it to me please," Charlie asked. Nick offered a weak smile in agreement, "My Dearest, Charlie

I remember watching your dad (pack up your car,) on the day you left I (put a hand on your heart) when you pulled me closer. I felt you're heartbeat and I didn't believe you could find peace in death. You know I am no poet I just want you to (Say whatever you feel,) around me and trust me enough to let me in someday. But right now (be wherever you are) for I know that you're winning. I (ain't angry at you, love), I know you've been struggling (You're the greatest thing we've lost) and we want you to come back to us okay. But in the mean time (The birds will still sing,) in our park, our spot, (your folks will still fight) according to your sister it's mainly your mum and dad versus you're extended family she wanted me to tell you in some way. (The boards will still creak,) in Mr Farouk's classroom just as you used to point out, not going to lie I found it irritating then but I miss it now, as autumn draws to a close(the leaves will still die). (We ain't angry at you, love) no one is we miss you (We'll be waitin' for you, love), we miss you Charlie so you do whatever it takes so you can come home (And we'll all be here forever) I promise. I promise you,

With all my love your Nick," the letter had decade old water marks from the tears shed writing it, Nick had to blink away tears even then.

Charlie had to sit and process what he had heard for a minute. "Nick, did you ever discuss any of this with your therapist?" Nick had started counselling in university because of everything and just having someone to talk through his emotions. "No I'd forgotten about it until now, guess I'll add it to the list. I'm sorry I was just so afraid of loosing you," Nick choked resting his head on Charlie's shoulder, "Well Nick you didn't know then what you do now, how old are we?" "You're 27 and I'm 29," "What have we done so far?" "Been to the states, I have my masters in sport science and working as a PE teacher, you have a degree in English Literature and are a credited publisher," "Where are we?" "Our first house," "We survived Nick, I'm not angry at you love."

I would like to remind readers that you are not alone in this world, yes you, you are not alone. You can't say you don't have any friends because I'm your friend. If you need someone to just listen to you, I'm all ears. 💙💙