Curse of the Werebottom

Chapter 1

Mrs Gloria Pringle was rudely awakened when she felt a most unwelcome and heavy push against her head which was quickly followed by the sound of a very loud and disgustingly wet raspberry being blown right in her ear.

She sat up sharply in her sleeping bag and looked over at her husband in disgust. He was the exact opposite of her, being that he was a very short and skinny man who, even in a deep sleep, insisted upon wearing a smile upon his ageing face. "Norman!" she whispered at a volume that was nothing like a whisper should be. "We've been married for thirty years and have come on our camping holidays together for each and every one of those years, but if you think that I'm going to tolerate such rudeness and bad manners at my time of life, you've got another thing coming!"

Norman Pringle roused from his slumber, and whilst groping in the dark for his spectacles, replied in his usual cheery tone. "Whatever is the matter my love? I dare say that you may have had another one of your scary dreams, eh? I told you not to eat that last pickled egg and beetroot sandwich."

"Don't you give me that! You know what you did and there was absolutely no need for you to brace yourself against my head whilst you did it!

Mrs Pringle's tone of voice switched from anger to self-pity. "It's bad enough that every time I breathe in I get a taste of wet dog in my throat, but now I'll probably have a bruise on my head as well. I deserve better than this, I am a lady who deserves to be treated with respect. Now will you please turn on the light and pass me the air freshener and a packet of mints!"

Norman found his spectacles, placed them upon his puzzled face and flicked on the camping light hanging overhead in the tent. He wanted to try and calm his wife and assure her that the love he felt for her now was just as great as it was on their wedding day, and that he would never, ever treat her so unkindly. Unfortunately, he never got the chance as suddenly, the side of the tent behind his wife was pressed in from the outside. It was just where her head would have been if she were still laid down where she was only seconds before. He watched as the large and rounded object moved closer to the entrance, completely entranced by the strange vision.

"I felt the wind blowing right through my new perm," Gloria continued. "It was like being blasted by the world's smelliest hair dryer. How could you be so rude and.." "Hush now love," Norman interrupted. "There's some....thing outside. And I think it's trying to get in!" Norman quickly grabbed his large plastic flask of tea, held it in front of him as a weapon and pulled the zip to the tent down while shouting, "Who goes there?"

At that precise moment, a huge bottom shape burst through the opening! It slammed Norman back into the tent, causing him to crash land where he had been laid asleep only a minute before. He and Gloria lay with their mouths open wide in fear and in shock at the unbelievable sight. It gave a slight tremor before letting rip the most thunderous of roars from it's hidden depths, completely outdoing its earlier parp that woke Gloria. The whole tent rumbled and shook for what seemed like an eternity, until the beast was completely satisfied. A second later, it was gone, disappeared into the dark night.

Other campers were woken by the thunderous roar and came to enquire what the cause of the noise was, and if there were any assistance they could offer. Unfortunately, they were all unable to do anything for either Gloria or Norman, except to make a phone call for an ambulance and then for the police, as both Gloria and Norman were completely petrified after their horrific experience.

When the emergency services arrived, they too were shocked to find a field full of people all stood with hands over their mouths and noses to protect themselves from the atrocious smell. They waded through the crowds, until they eventually happened upon both Gloria and Norman lying on their backs. The tent had been blown clean away from them and their eyes and mouths were wide open, frozen in shock.

What the police officer and the ambulance driver found particularly disturbing was the fact that both Norman and Gloria were a quite distinctive shade of lime green.