Broken or One of a Kind?

Part 5: Crossing Lines and Chasing Dreams

The next few days in England felt like a blur, a strange dream where reality and fantasy wove together. Between the concerts, the sightseeing, and spending time with Johnnie and Katie, I barely had time to think about Chris. Which, in all honesty, was probably for the best.

I was standing in the back of a tiny venue, my heart still pounding from the show we had just seen. The band had left the stage, and the crowd was thinning out, people heading for the exit or the merch tables. I stood there, half-lost in the lingering adrenaline, until Katie nudged me.

"You good?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Yeah," I said, smiling. "That was amazing. I still can't believe we're actually here."

"I told you it'd be worth it," she grinned. "England suits you."

Johnnie was a few feet away, chatting with someone who recognized him from YouTube. I still couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that this man-this literal internet sensation-was now, somehow, my dad. It felt surreal, but in the best way possible.

Just then, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text from Chris. *Meet me outside. We need to talk.*

I felt my stomach twist. Every interaction with him since we'd landed had been awkward at best, and at worst, it dredged up memories I'd rather forget. I didn't want to go, but I knew if I ignored him, it would only make things worse.

"I'll be back in a bit," I told Katie, forcing a smile. "I need to, um, talk to Chris."

Katie gave me a look, her smile faltering. "You sure you want to do that?"

I nodded, even though I wasn't sure at all. "I'll be fine. Just... wait for me here, okay?"

She hesitated but then nodded. "Okay. But text me if you need anything."

I slipped out of the venue, the cool night air hitting me as soon as I stepped outside. Chris was standing a few feet away, leaning against the side of the building, smoking a cigarette. I approached cautiously, keeping a good distance between us.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to sound casual, though my heart was racing.

Chris took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled, not looking at me. "I've been thinking," he said, his voice low. "About us. About... the past."

I didn't say anything, just crossed my arms and waited. I wasn't sure where this was going, but I had a bad feeling.

"I know I wasn't the best father," he continued, finally looking at me. His eyes were hard to read, a mix of regret and something else I couldn't place. "But I'm trying to change. I want to make things right."

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly tight. This wasn't the first time he'd tried to have this conversation, but it never led anywhere good. I wanted to believe him-part of me *did* believe him-but another part of me, the part that still remembered the shouting, the fear, the pain, wasn't so sure.

"I don't know, Chris," I said slowly. "It's not that simple."

He sighed, dropping the cigarette and crushing it under his shoe. "I know it's not. But I want to try. I want to be there for you, Ezri. Can't you give me a chance?"

The use of my real name caught me off guard, and for a moment, I wavered. But then I thought about Johnnie, about the safety I felt with him, about how I didn't have to constantly watch my back or worry about what might set him off. That was what I needed. Not more broken promises from someone who had already let me down too many times.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. "But I don't think I can."

Chris's expression hardened. "You're just gonna throw me away? Like I'm nothing?"

I flinched at his tone, the familiar anger creeping into his voice. This was why I couldn't trust him. This was why I couldn't let him back in.

"I'm not throwing you away," I said, trying to stay calm. "But I need space. I need time."

"Space," he muttered, shaking his head. "Fine. Do what you want. But don't come crying to me when this 'new dad' of yours disappoints you."

The words hit me like a punch, but I didn't let him see how much they hurt. Instead, I turned and walked away, not looking back.

As I made my way back to the venue, I felt a knot in my chest, a mix of guilt, sadness, and anger all rolled into one. But I knew I had made the right choice. I couldn't keep letting Chris pull me back into that dark place. I had to keep moving forward, no matter how hard it was.

When I walked back inside, Katie was waiting for me, her eyes full of concern. "Everything okay?"

I nodded, though I wasn't sure if that was entirely true. "Yeah. I just... need a minute."

She nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. "I'm here, okay? Always."

I leaned into her, letting the warmth of her embrace chase away the coldness that Chris had left behind. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay.