Combination Of Light and Dark
What will happen when light and darkness will collapse with each other?
She was the light and he was the darkness
And the light and dark cannot merged unless the one consumed the other one.
DISCLAIMER: This is mix of...
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Jane✨️
I was drowning in my thoughts lying on my bed looking at the ceiling fan. “ Yes, your brother is right” Oh wow that's strangely good now my inner self is saying that my brother was right.
It’s been a week now and I almost forget that incident but thanks to my thoughts, now that I can remember everything what my brother advised me that day.
“You should move on, like he did, what's the reason to hold on to something that only hurts you?” Those were words coming from my brother's mouth.
I really appreciate his effort of advising because he rarely does that. We both are really different from each other. Like he's the one who is calm and composed and on the other side I am the opposite.
I am not sure about moving on that quickly. It has been almost 4 years and I am still on that track which means it cannot be called “quick”.
The person who is the reason I am suffering right now is living his life joyfully and here i am figuring out how to move on from him.
I went to the mirror on the wall, and then I started talking to myself, motivating myself and telling her to move on. Yes that is me when i am stressed, happy, sad and whatever I feel, I would go to the mirror and talk myself out and ya it's help every time.
Now that I was feeling better after my mirror mirror on the wall session, I got a phone call from my best friend who was still far away from me. “Hey babe, what's going on without me” she said, like I was going to tour the world in her absence. “ Nothing much, I am figuring out something” I sighed.
After I told her about everything how I broke down in the middle of the family function and my brother caught me crying and so on. She was shouting like a mother scolding her child but ya I know she was concerned as well as gets mad when I am sad or specially when i am hurt.
She has been telling me to move on since that person showed his true color, true color in a sense when he hurt me to death not physically but emotionally.
I was a mess the moment I knew that he wanted to break up with me and it was the real break up. Our relationship goes up and down, like we'll take a break and get back together and repeat the process again. But it was a real break up this time.
It's not like that I am not trying to move on before. I have dated a few people after our break up but none was helping. Even I Started to do some prohibited things to forget him like drinking alcohol, taking pills and even smoking because these were the things that made me unconscious.
Flashback
“Thank You for this beautiful evening date, I really love this view of sunset and seeing it with you is a plus” I looked at him with so much love, his fingers intertwined with mine.
“I am glad you love it” Andreas kissed me on my lips. Our eyes were closed and we were lost in our world.
“Love you” Andreas said, his eyes sparkling.
“Love you too” I replied.
We spent the evening lost in each other's gaze.
Hand in hand, we strolled through the park.
Laughter echoed as we chased each other.
I was hoping the time would stop then and there.
Present day
My smile faltered.
Tears threatened.
Memories still lingered.
I forced myself to move. I need to escape from this prison of memories. A walk, some fresh air perhaps…
My Best friend was not in town so there was no one I can hang out with so I went to my parents house where my brother lives.
“Hey bro, I hope I am not disturbing you” I entered Dane Bro's room. He was getting ready for his daily Football practice. “You already did” He said without looking, he was putting kits In the bag.
“I was thinking of accompanying you for the practice” I was bored at home because it was the weekend and I had a day off from the Bookstore where I do a side Job.
My brother has never ever invited me to watch a match and I don't know why?
“What will you do there?” He finally looked up, placing his hands on his waist. “Seeing you guys practice” I smiled widely.
“You don't even like my Team, you said it yourself” I agreed with him but that doesn't mean I would not go with him. “ bro, please I am getting bored at home”
For a change my brother agreed with me but but but he only agreed with me to come watch his actual Match which is to start next month onwards. “That's next month and I want to go with you today,” I said. “ That's not my problem” he said, unimpressed.
I hesitated, unsure if i was ready to face the crowd, the noise and most importantly Andreas might show up there because he was also a footballer but he did not belong to my brother's team.
After my brother left for the ground practice I went Café to Eat something because my mind was not working properly. I am still in shock, because he never ever agreed on me to come and watch his match, but you never know what destiny wants.
The only possibility was that he might get annoyed by my constant urge to go with him and see him during practice. He clearly did not want me to come with him. That's why he shifted my mind to think about the actual Match.
I wasn't about my decision whether I'll go or not, the thing was how i am gonna face my past if by chance he will be there and most importantly how I am gonna react.
After our break up or by the time we were together, whenever I see him or even near him, my heartbeat beats really fast and my body become cold like somebody left the fridge open, even I get shiver whenever he is near.
“ You should go” my inner self said, but my body was not ready.
