I WAS MADE FOR YOU

CHAPTER - 15

It worked. The music box worked. When Taehyun wasn't there, when anybody else wasn't there in the house, before the words could eat me up, I will simply twist the key of the music box and the tune will drive the cannibalism away. The two lovers, I sighed merrily at them, the moon, the stars, my reflection I see in the globe was a perfect time killer until Taehyun would come home.

When he did come home, we would both sit on the bed, the music box on my lap would come alive and both of us would breathe peacefully in the old room. There's no thought of how unfortunate our lives were, there's no desire to die, there's no tears spilling. Just inhales and exhales, thinking of beautiful things and wishfully, thinking of each other.

"Have you ever considered going outside?" Taehyun had asked while his eyes were still settled on the music box, staring at the dancing lovers.

"Not really, I don't know if I am ready for that." I just shrugged. "I haven't considered any activities in a long time." The lovers ceased dancing and so was the tune, it stopped playing.

"Don't you at least want to try? Being cooped up like this, I'm afraid it will do you more damage." Taehyun shuffled in the bed, his elbows propped up on the sinking pillow as he turned to face me.

I stayed silent and the silent stretched further than I want it to. It was just that I do not have an answer. The idea of going outside and seeing the brighter place of the world where I won't feel belonged was still so scary, at least in my head it was. I bit my bottom lip, trying to form an answer to respond him but I could not think of even one excuse.

"Try with me, you don't have to do it alone." Taehyun said, his free hand palmed itself gently on my wrist, wrapping it afterwards. His warmth stole me out of my lethargic wonders.

I stared at the hands gripping my cuff, if he held me like this and if he stared at me like this, will anything else even matter anyways?
His big black-wined eyes, his living warmth. Won't these be the only thing that matters?

"Gyu?" His call took me out of my head again.

"Yes, I will go out with you."

It had startled him a bit judging from how his eyes went bigger before they crinkled into a smile.
"Let's go to the river bank, you'll love it." He said all these while his fingers twirled in a strand of my hair.
"Back when I was young, everytime after school, I liked to stop by there. I like to watch the tranquil flow of the river and how there's distance between the others and me there. I like how it made me realize that the world is not all so detestable."

"Does it make you think of the beautiful things?" I asked, my eyes never leaving his. They were entrenched and I don't even want to escape by looking away.

"It did." He exhaled through his nose as if he admired me, as if I mattered most. It caused a warm pool of likeable things in my tummy.
"You are equivalent to that river now, but much much much more beautiful."

"Do you love that river?" My voice was almost hushed yet so endearing.

The same goes for the gentleness in his words "No, in my life, I have only loved two persons." His fingers which played with my strands now eloped somewhere else to my chin, trapping it between his thumb and index finger. "My mother" He sat up, bringing my face closer to his, my breath grew unsteady as my eyelashes fluttered "and you." Then I felt a warm pair of lips sharing their heat on my lips. They slowly danced and merged into each other's mouth, the speed change later and so was the instensity. Taehyun set my chin free only to hold my jaws, pulling me impossibly closer.

I did not mind. I could only appreciate and fall in love more. His little actions and all his words always aligned. They always tell me and show me how everything he did is truly because he loves me.
And I love him. I tried to show it by letting him in the kiss. My lips were devoted to his dancings, my body pliant. He can have all of me, I will submit without complaining.