I WAS MADE FOR YOU

CHAPTER - 12

In our very ultramarine room of glum, we kissed each other's eyelids like tomorrow is not coming. We caressed each other's arms like we were cool to die now.

"I told you, you love me the same way." Taehyun whispered softly before tugging me in tighter beneath the blanket.

I just stayed silent, having no answer. I could only watched his wounded hands which I had bandaged this very evening. It made my heart constrict into a very suffocating manner that I must breathed out huffs of air at that mere sight, at the mere sight of seeing Taehyun wounded and hurt.

"I was okay with staying in that room, look, you got hurt because of me." More than hurt, that was what I forgot to add and I could only hope that he understood the tears in my eyes.

His large orbs stared right into my wet ones, they were fluent with speaking in silence and I knew he heard me.

"No." Taehyun was assertive in his confinement. "No one is caging you up." His dressed hand cupped then caressed my cheeks, my eyes dropping to close instantly to the touch, oh the warmth and the smell of ointment. His love and his pain. I savoured it.

"Do you love me that much?" While desperately feeling him until my cheeks were now squished in his hold.

"No." That I flinged my surprised eyes to which soon closes and melted upon his eskimo kiss again "I love you in a way that even I won't keep you in my cage." Oh, what is this clarification that I felt burning pleasantly in my soul? "I won't dare. I want you to fly."

"What if I don't want to fly alone?" Our dialogues were soft, even the volume of it was so hushed. I felt a kind of peace I have never felt. Despite the turmoil evening and the exploding pain of my heart, I felt at peace tonight, I felt at peace with him. I find peace in his gentleness, in his love, in his presence, in his existence, in his whole, in his remains.

Maybe this is love.

Maybe this is how his own love feels like to him.

How beautiful.

"Then I'll be just behind you."

I love you, Kang Taehyun.

Several weeks have passed and there still was a suffocating tension in the house that everyone is avoiding everyone. It felt the same for me, to be avoided and to avoid; however, I was so worried for Taehyun. I wanted to know how much sadness he actually suppressed inside him. He never talked it out, he never spoke to or about his parents ever since the incident. And I started questioning everything.

"Do you love your father?" One morning I asked to him in his usual study table from the bed.

"No." He answered rather quickly, almost instinctively.

"Are you sure?" I asked, almost cautiously, for I am afraid to hurt him.

His back straightened up, higher and bolder, apathetically.

"The best thing I could feel towards him is forgiveness."

His sentence in a tone of rigidity and firmness mourned something in me. It was as if touching his most sensitive nerves which could bereave him.

"Is it because of me Taehyun?"

And now he turned around to me, his eyes mellowed down as it fluttered sympathetically.

"No and yes." He turned around again, as if he did not want to engage in this conversation further "I hated him ever since the past and I hate him now because of what he's done to you. It's never your fault. I just hate him for who he is."

Unsure and nervous, I had to ask him "Do you think you could forgive him one day?"

His fingers ceased their writing and his body stilled
"Tell me to forgive him and I will."

In that instance, I finally knew what being centralized meant. I finally knew the feeling of being important, being respected, being adored.

Once I understood what love is,
I wondered if your love could be deeper than the ocean.

-Leonsa

.