I WAS MADE FOR YOU

CHAPTER - 14

All the rooms were lonely. The sitting room absent of body heat. The kitchen with no smell of new dinner. The corridor with no sound of footsteps. Only the clock seemed to be alive in its ticks and tocks. I was all alone in my bed. Taehyun's warmth long gone because he had to take an important examination. My stepfather and stepmother had gone to who knows where. They barely lived in the house anymore.

I hated it. The smell of old woods in the lonely room. It gave me a feeling afresh to light the place up on fire. This house may be my only mother's remains but I had hated this house. This construction. This shelter which didn't even shelter me like I needed it to. I do not need this house. I do not need it. I only need Taehyun.

It happened again. The worms of thoughts are eating me up. I thought I had healed from it. I thought I had. Clearly, I wasn't. I'm still the sick old mess.

Then I realized, this sickness is chronic but Taehyun was my medicine to ward off the pain, he was the holy water to ward off the demons hanging on my shoulders. Taehyun was made for me and I for him.

Nonetheless, I am afraid if I was really enough for him. Oh no, the devils in my head are echoing again and again, stealing every solace away from my soul.

The thoughts are eating me up. I rigidly brought my palms to my ears, tightly, pinchingly tight that no muffle of sounds can even be heard. "Please go away." I begged, the hot river flowed out of my tear sacs once again.

They didn't go away. They stayed for a long time. They told me how unworthy I am for Taehyun. They told me how my existence is futile. They told me that death is just around the corner to lift my sadness away.

"No, I don't want to die now." I gritted out, trying my very best to say the exact opposite of what my head was telling me "Taehyun needs my existence as much as I need his." I insisted these words to myself so that my head can hopefully believe it.

I murmured repeatedly, like a fool, like a lunatic. The darkness encloses me and my hands that shut my ears are now cramping a little. It hurted. Everything hurts.

The noise enclosing and trapping my body was so loud that it took me out of my wits when my body was shaken violently which I opened my gnawing eyes to. "Taehyun." My voice came out almost like a whisper upon seeing the said boy kneeling on the bedside, his breathings were harsh as if he just feared something he saw.

Without wasting another second, Taehyun crouched down and engulfed my body in the tightest hug I have ever received. It wasn't gentle yet so caring. It was out of desperation, this encompassing hold somehow makes me forget of what the demons had been telling me, the ringing, they were all gone.

"Gyu, you were trembling." His hands rambled shakily to caress my hair. My body limped loosely in this touch.

My tears fell again, drop by drop. It was his mere existence that overwhelms me in the best way.

My pliable arms finally held him back, smudging my tears on his white shirt which are now becoming damp.

"Taehyun." In my weakest tone, I voiced. There was this quietness except for our shuffling breaths. His worried ones and my tired ones.
"The house is so lonely without you. There's no sound of footsteps, no small chatter to hear. It was so silent that it's deafening."

Upon hearing my confession, Taehyun changed his desperate hug into a loving one, full of affection.

"I'm so sorry Gyu." Our intertwined bodies slowly fell down on the mattress.

"When can you be at home everyday?" I tried to suppress the loneliness clear on my voice so that it might not burden him too much although my hands betrayed me, they were quivering as they clawed onto his shirt tighter.