Chapter 18

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Ethel POV

It was the next day after Ray walked out and left me on my own. I was on my way to a cemetery in London to have a business meeting with Gertrude. A cemetery was a quiet place where people weren't listening which is why we decided to meet there. It was also Gertrude's birthday today. I had not seen her since the night of our very eventful drunken meeting with Tommy which ended up in 3 bloody noses and 2 semi broken relationships with my siblings. I also still have not heard about the aftermath of black star day. I don't know if it was a success or failure and the not knowing was starting to stress me out.

I left my apartment early so I would have time to pick up a slice of cake for my sister from a bakery. As I arrive to the graveyard I check my watch and see I still have 20 minutes until our planned meeting time so I spend that time walking around getting some fresh air and contemplating the events of my last two days. I walk around glancing at graves, some very old, some new for what feels like forever before I see Gertrude sitting on a bench in front of a grave with a big black coat on.

I approach her and sit next to her. We sit in silence, staring at the random grave in front of us for a few moments before I decide to break the ice, "I did a fart the other day that was exactly like mum's." I say to her. "The one that was like a door opening or the one that was like an angry duck?" She responds to me. "A door opening." I say. Our mother was very ladylike but found farting hilarious. "Means you have mums bum." Gertrude says. "God. I'd be lucky." I respond to her chuckling before continuing, "I gave up on having a nice bottom ages ago. My farts when I was younger used to be like, Pah! Now they're just sort of fighting their way out of my cheeks." "I haven't farted in about three years." Gertrude says with a straight face.

I reach into my coat pocket and pull out the boxed up slice of cake. "Happy Birthday." I say to her handing over the box. She has a slight smile on her face as she opens it. "Thank you." She tells me before tearing a chunk with her fingers and eating it. "So, apparently Alfie planned a surprise party for me tonight..." I resist the urge to roll my eyes at the word surprise having had enough of it yesterday. "Of course I know about it, the arrival time is 7 o'clock for a 7:30 surprise, it's at his warehouse, okay?" She asks me. "Yeah, I will be there." I tell her. "It's really a business birthday thing, people Alfie knows will be there, the Shelby's, lots of meetings happening I am guessing, so it won't be much fun. Don't expect a crazy party." "I won't." I respond to her. "And maybe wear a nice dress. And don't drink too much. There's this huge business plan Alfie has been working on in France. And those people will be there tonight. So this party is quite a serious—I mean, it's basically a business meeting." She continues to tell me. "Sounds like a blast." I tell her with a sarcastic smile before asking, "Should I bring a date?" I say also sarcastically. "Ray?" She asks me. Reminding me that she was the one who gave Ray my address. "No." I respond. "Who would you bring then?" Gertrude asks me. "Ooh, I don't know yet." I say with a mischievous grin on my face.

She chuckles at me but has a sad look upon her face somewhat. "I feel like it's really inappropriate for us to meet in a graveyard." She says. "Why?" I ask her. "Flaunting our life." She responds with a sigh, turning back to look at the grave in front of us before continuing, "God, I can't wait to be old." "If it's any consolation, you look older than you are." I tell her another mischievous grin finding its way on my face. "Sorry?" She asks me shifting around in her seat. "What's Alfie given you for your birthday?" I ask her. "Oof. A stroke would be nice." She responds. "What? No bang-bang?" I ask her. She lets out a big sigh and responds with, "He's still got that thing on his..." She trails off gesturing. "What?" I ask her. "On his..." She starts again before looking to the side with a hair flick. "Come on, you can do it." I tell her. "I don't have to say..." she starts before I interrupt her,"Yes, you do." "No. Not here." She says as I talk over her with, "Come on. Come on." "No." She responds warningly. "Please." I plead with her. "Penis." She says. "Thank you." I respond with a chuckle as she stifles a laugh. "He still...has that thing on his penis. You happy?" She tells me.

We go over a few business things together, mainly the stuff that will need to happen this next week. I also learn from her black star day was a success and that Billy Kimber is now dead. I silently hope he was the man that wrote me that letter. We get up from the bench to walk out, concluded our meeting. "Christ. Look at that man. Tragic." Gertrude says as we walk past a sobbing man next to a grave. "Nah. He looks like he's faking it." I tell her as a joke to rile her up. "You can't call someone who is grieving a fake." She angrily says to me. "That is shit grieving." I tell her defensively gesturing to the man. "Look at him. He's..." She starts whispering before I interrupt her,"No one grieves like that unless their in a film or Italian..." "Who are you to pass judgment on his grief?" She says interrupting me, defensive of the random man. "Trust me, I bet he's at a different grave every day. He probably can't get enough of your pity for him." I tell her as she just stares at me for a moment. "What?" I ask her. "You should come here every day and see then." She responds sassily.

I decide to not respond to her and just shrug my shoulders slightly. We walk in silence for a moment before she tells me, "Don't do a jump out surprise thing tonight, and don't sing happy birthday. I couldn't bear it." I raise my hands up in defense before she continues, "I'm, um—I'm actually looking forward to it." She turns to me with a slight smile. I smile back to her. I had not brought up the self harm stuff today as I figured to leave it as it's her birthday. But I am happy that she seems happy in this moment.

I am also happy at the knowledge Tommy will be attending the party tonight. I somewhat wonder in my mind if I should actually find a date to bring tonight, as I still would like to see if me being with another man makes him jealous in any sort of way. I was looking forward to doing that somewhat with Ray as bad as it sounds. Now that Rays not an option I try to think in my mind who I could possibly bring tonight to test my theory. Either way I was genuinely excited to lay my eyes on the handsome man and hopefully talk to him.

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