Drunk In Love (Crushing Hard Series Book 3)

Dear Diary:11/02/2019

Monday

I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach, replaying last night over and over in my head. Kevin had slept on the couch, and I wanted to avoid him. I tiptoed around the house as I got ready for work. I wore a formal summer dress with wedges and threw on a blazer to cover the bruises on my arms. They hurt more today, as if I had been lifting weights at the gym. My hands trembled as I tied my hair into a neat bun, trying to keep my mind from spiraling.

When I came downstairs, Kevin was already awake, sitting on the couch where he had spent the night. His face looked drained, full of regret. He stared at me like he didn’t know what to say. His eyes were soft, sad, and there was an air of vulnerability about him that made my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.

"Thandeka... are you leaving already?" His voice was hoarse, like he hadn’t slept much.

I nodded, avoiding eye contact. It hurt too much to look at him right now.

"Are you coming back?" There was a naked hope in his eyes, a kind of desperation that I hadn’t seen in him before. He looked so broken, so different from the man who had shoved me just last night.

I nodded again, watching the relief flood his face. He exhaled deeply, almost like he had been holding his breath since last night. It should’ve given me comfort, but instead, it just made me feel hollow.

The office was buzzing with Monday energy. Almost everyone was talking about how epic Friday had been. It felt like a different lifetime. I had forgotten about Scott turning me away and how that had stung.

Scott was all over me today, though, and it was so annoying. This morning, Aisha was telling me about her weekend, and Scott barged in, needing her signature for some document. He hung around, talking about how amazing I had been at soccer, not like the other girls in the office. I saw the frozen smile on Aisha's face. I could tell she was as irritated as I was. Then, when everyone was ordering lunch, Scott paid for mine and refused to let me pay him back. That’s when I’d had enough.

I pulled him aside, forcing a calmness into my voice. "Scott, stop. You don’t have to suck up to me. I’m not upset about what happened on Friday."

That was a lie. I was still unbelievably pissed. But there was no way in hell I’d let him know that.

He looked at me with wide eyes, his face suddenly earnest. "I'm sorry though, Thandi. I’ve felt awful about it all weekend. Can you forgive me?"

I tilted my head, studying him. "Why did you act like that?" I pressed.

He looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with his hands. "I don’t know. It was getting late, I guess." He mumbled the words like he couldn’t come up with a real excuse.

I rolled my eyes and walked away. What was it with guys lying to me these days?

Later, there was this flower Scott had given to Aisha for safekeeping. He was growing it to give to his girlfriend. Somehow, Aisha thought it was a great idea to put the damn thing on my desk. I was all smiles while she explained how I had "the best sunlight" in the office. The entire office was made of glass. There was sunlight everywhere.

When she left, I called Scott, not even bothering to mask my annoyance. "Don’t you think it’s weird that Aisha has your girlfriend’s plant on my desk?"

He sounded amused. "Why would that be weird?"

"Scott, it just is!" I snapped, exasperated.

He chuckled, clearly enjoying my irritation. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Come take it, or I’ll drown it in water," I threatened, my patience wearing thin.

He laughed again, and it grated on my nerves. "That's a little extreme for someone who's supposed to be my friend."

I scoffed. "I'm not your friend. My friends wouldn’t throw me out of their car."

"Ouch," he said, mockingly.

"Yeah, come get your flower, or else," I said before hanging up. He didn’t come. After an hour, I made sure no one was watching before I tipped the plant over. Aisha rushed over, trying to salvage it, while Scott came to help her, throwing amused glances my way. I could see the humor in his eyes. Instead of getting mad, he found my temper tantrum funny.

Despite everything, I missed Kevin today. Isn't that crazy? I thought about him all day, about how sad he looked this morning, about how much I missed his presence.

When I got home, the table outside was set. There were roses, champagne, and dinner already prepared. Kevin stood there, eyes red, holding back tears. The moment I saw him, my heart cracked open. He apologized, his voice thick with emotion. I found myself wrapping my arms around him, and soon we were kissing. He carried me to the bedroom, and we made love—gentle, tender love, like we were trying to patch ourselves back together.

Between each kiss, he whispered apologies, saying how sorry he was, how much he loved me. Tears slipped from both of us as he promised it would never happen again. We cried together, holding each other as if we were afraid to let go.

Afterward, lying there in his arms, I told him how scared I had been last night, how much it had shaken me. He listened, wiping my tears away, vowing that it would never get to that point again. I believed him. I wanted to believe him.

I apologized too—for the things I’d said, for trying to push his buttons. I knew I had gone too far. This was a lesson I wasn’t eager to repeat.

We lay there, tangled in each other, and for the first time in days, I felt a sense of peace.

Never again, I thought. Never again.

Night night.