Drunk In Love (Crushing Hard Series Book 3)

Dear Diary: 12/01/2019

Saturday

It’s been a relatively calm week. I visited my mom on Thursday, and she was so happy to see me. We hugged and jumped up and down like we were kids again. My brother came along with his wife , and my sister was also home, who was still on work leave. She planned to leave on Sunday. It felt amazing to have everyone together again. My mom was a little disappointed that Kevin couldn’t make it, but I explained that he had a meeting he couldn’t miss.

Speaking of my mom, did I mention she bought all of us cars back when I was in my third year at college? When she retired, she got a lump sum from her pension and decided to treat us. My sister got a BMW, my brother a Mercedes, and I received a red Daihatsu Terios with a hatchback. I loved that car—big, but not too flashy. I left it at my mom’s place when I moved away, but it still felt like mine. Mom invested the rest of her money, set up trust funds for us, and even renovated her house. It now has an upstairs. So, for anyone thinking I rely on Kevin for money, that’s far from the truth. I didn’t ask him for anything, and now I’m even more excited to make my own money.

We sat around talking for hours, and before I knew it, my brother’s friends showed up, turning it into a full-on braai. Mondli and I went to the mall to get meat and alcohol. I told him I didn’t want to drink because I was driving, but he just laughed and said, “No way, we’re getting fucked up today.”

“Mondli, I’m practically married. Kevin will flip,” I said, though that was a total lie. Kevin would be the last person to flip after the stunt he pulled earlier this week. I didn’t even give him a hard time for being wasted; I just told him to warn me next time before bringing guests home, so they don’t walk in on me half-naked. He definitely owed me one.

At the mall, Mondli and I split up—he went to the liquor store, and I went to get the meat. And then, out of nowhere, I bumped into Dean. Yes, the Dean. My ex boyfriend from High school. He still looked handsome, though he had lost some of his muscle definition and had filled out a bit more.

“Dean, oh my word!” I squealed. We exchanged one of those awkward hugs, with him patting me on the back.

“Thandi! You’re back! I’ve been keeping up with you on social media,” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, we came back last Saturday. I’m starting my new job on Monday,” I replied, laughing nervously and playing with my hair. I wear it natural these days—Kevin doesn’t like my wigs because they shed everywhere. My natural hair is past my shoulders now, though it’s a lot of work. We caught up for a bit—he’s married now, with a one-year-old daughter, and he’s teaching at his old high school. Most people I went to school with stayed in our hometown, and it always baffles me how they can be so content without ever exploring the world.

Our conversation was awkward. The last time I saw Dean was a few months after my breakup with Scott, when I was still a mess. I remember going to a party with Melissa, and Dean was there. We spent the whole night talking, and for a moment, I thought he could be the one to help me forget Scott. But that night, when he kissed me, I accidentally called out Scott’s name. I was mortified. Dean was kind enough to walk away and never mention it.

Before I left the mall, Dean stopped me and said, “You know, I ran into Scott a few years back at some party. He was a mess, like, properly drunk. We talked for a bit, and… I don’t know, man. It was obvious he still had feelings for you. I honestly thought you two would end up together, you know? Married, kids, the whole thing. The way he talked about you… I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look at their ex like that."

His words stunned me. I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled and walked away. Hearing that didn’t do anything for me now, except make the past more bittersweet. I know better than to dwell on it—the past can’t be repeated, no matter how much you sometimes wish it could. I used to think Scott and I would be building this life together, but instead, I’ve built it with Kevin. And I’m okay with that.

After the mall, Mondli and I went back to my mom’s, and somehow we ended up getting drunk on a Thursday afternoon. My mom didn’t mind; she was happy cleaning up after us. I had to lie down and drink some water to sober up. By 8 PM, I was fine.

When I got home, Kevin was annoyed because he had to cook dinner. I cook almost every night, and I don’t give him attitude about it, but the one night I hang out with my family, and suddenly I’m the bad guy for not having dinner ready. He could smell the alcohol on me, too, which didn’t help.

“What kind of future wife goes out, gets drunk, and forgets her man is at home with no dinner?” Kevin snapped.

“I wasn’t aware your arms were broken and you couldn’t cook for yourself,” I shot back.

“You’re so rude sometimes. I wish you could hear how you talk, Thandeka.”

“And you’re spoiled! You don’t appreciate anything I do. How many times have I cooked for you? And now, because I didn’t do it this one time, I’m a bad future wife?”

I stormed past him, frustrated, but we both calmed down later and apologized. Everything is fine now.

Today, we visited my dad’s place, and I hung out with my little sister, Asanda. She’s 16 now, and we actually get along pretty well. She kept teasing me about how I always seem to “land white guys.” It’s been her dream to date one, apparently. We played Monopoly, and Kevin kept teasing me about how competitive I was getting. Asanda just watched us with dreamy eyes like she was watching a romance movie. Afterward, Kevin and I went to meet up with friends, but I got tired quickly, so we headed home. I could tell Kevin wanted to stay out longer, but he came back with me without any complaints.

I guess I’m growing up—I’d rather be home than out these days.

Night night. Sweet dreams.