~|• THE RIBBON IN HER HAIR •|~

~|• Chapter 13 •|~

|• Did i just mess things up? •|
Lerouice

After the day of Cyphaine's confession hindi na nawala sa isipan ko ang mga salitang binitiwan namin sa isa't isa noon. Ramdam ko rin ang pag-iwas nya saakin, gayun din kay Phein. I know that it would take her so much more time to heal her wounds. The wounds that i made. Kung alam nya lang na araw araw akong nakokonsensya baka siguro ay kaawaan nya pako kahit kaunti. I regret everything but its not my fault that im straight. I know that i really hurt her feelings pero mali narin ba ngayon ang pagsasabi ng nararamdaman ko? I cant just accept someone's confenssion without thinking twice. Afcourse before kong bitawan ang mga salitang iyon ay pinagisipan konang mabuti iyon.

I dont want to hurt or harm anyone pero sa mga nangyayari ngayon i dont know what to do. I dont like blaming myself pero bakit ganon ang nangyayari? Isnt it weird? Afcourse its weird! What the heck is happening in my life?? Did i deserve to be in this situation though? Is this a punishment? A curse? Someone's revenge? God please! Please give me some hint on how to escape on this problems. I think i just messed things more. I hate myself!

....

Kinabukasan, i tried to talk to Aine pero pilit ang pag-iwas nya saakin. I get her point kung bakit sya umiiwas. Even Phein started to realize na umiiwas rin si Aine sakanya.

This afternoon mas pinili kong maupo sa bench ng graden ng campus. I don't think that everything's going to be alright. Here i am, blaming my self again. Nobody can understand the feeling when you get involved in a situation that you wish you'd never encountered!

"Looks like you're in deep thoughts" nawala ang pagka -tulala ko ng marinig ko ang boses ni Sherman.

"I am" saad ko.

"Is it about Cyphaine's confession again? I already told you that you dont have to blame yourself sa mga nangyari right? Pero bakit inuulit-ulit mo parin ang pagsisi sa sarili mo?" Sherman said in a sweet voice. Tinabihan nya rin ako.

"I dont blame myself. I just felt guilty sa mga nangyayari"

"Guilty? For what? You did nothing for her to feel upset" Sherman said.

"Yon ang akala mo. Palibhasa youre not in my situation kaya ganyan ka kung mag-isip" i said irritated, paalis na sana ako ng hilain ni Sherman ang kamay ko dahilan para mapaupo ulit ako.

"Let go of my hands" i said irritated.

"Do you think if ganyan ka kabitter masosolve mo ang problema mo? You cant even handle it yourself, thats why you should ask for somebody's help. Lerouice im not here to be your enemy, im you kakampi sa lahat. If you cant erase that awful memory of you and Aine in your brain then dont expect na magkakaroon ka ng katahimikan ng gusto mo. Im here to help you solve the problem right? Pero how can i help you if ikaw mismo yung lumalayo? The problem is sinasarili mo lahat, yung tipong di mo na kaya pero ipinipilit mo parin. Tao lang rin tayo, we have limits. Ngayon if di mo talaga kailangan ng tulong ko i wont stop. I wont let you handle too much pain" sa sinabing iyon ni Sherman ilang minuto rin akong natahimik. He's got a point. Im the one who needs help.

"I just--i just (hanggang sa tuluyan ng tumulo ang mga luha ko rito) i just cant accept the fact na dahil sa mga nangyari nagkakasira kami ni Aine. I cant loose them you know? Like they've been a part of my daily routine. Being away from them makes me loose my mind. I know that she likes me pero its not a basihan para--para sirain nya yung pagkakaibigang meron kami. She's so unfair!" I said while crying. Nagulat ako ng bigla akong hilain ni Sherman for a tight hug.

"I dont want to see you crying. I know how much pain you're right now. I want you to know that im always here for you. Im here to share my shoulders for you to cry on, im here to make you laugh just like i always do, and the most important one is in here to listen" Sherman said. While his saying that the time looks like it stopped for us, only us. This man really loves me, and i love him too. He deserves the whole wide world for making me feel like i deserved the world.

Without any hesitation ay sinira ko ang pagyayakapan namin at hinalikan ko sya. At that time i know that hes shocked pero anyway he kissed me back too. And that was the first moment i felt true love. True love that i deserve.

I know na hindi ako magkakamali sa desisyon ko ngayon. He's the one i've been looking for so long. On this day i've made a decision that i cant take anymore.

After i kissed him he asked, "so does that means na tayo na?" He said in a teasing tone.

"Hindi pa ba sapat ang paghalik ko sayo?" I said smiling.

Then he hug me again. That hug was full of emotions. Happy, excitement, relief and most of all sweet. I have never experience something like that pero ngayon naranasan kona. Ansaya pala? Ansaya palang makaranas ng tunay na pagmamahal? I feel like panandaliang nawala ang nga problema ko.

"I love you!" He said full of excitement.

"I love you too" i said smiling sweet at him.

My day didn't end with that. Sherman and i celebrated this day. We headed to the mall, and park. He made me feel freedom kahit papaano.

I think perfect talaga sya para saakin. While we're walking at the park kanina diko maiwasang maisip kung papaanong ang isang gaya ni Sherman ay biglang magpapakita sa buhay ko para sabihinh gusto nyako? Kung papaanong diko inaasahang aabot pala ang lahat sa ganitong sitwasyon? Dati nagpapantasya lang ako, now it was all not a dream! It was real.

To be continue....