Mama's Little Girls

thirteen

Onika Maraj
23 May 2019
Maraj & Cooper LLP

Today was a big day. It was the day when I would fight to get full custody of the girls , for Beyoncé. I didn't doubt my abilities. I knew this would be a clean sweep.

Sitting at my desk in the law firm, I couldn't shake off the feeling that had filled my heart lately, in regards to Beyoncé.

I'd been thinking a lot more about Beyoncé and I. After my confession to her, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders and now I needed to figure out how to step forward from this.

With a rush of excitement and a hint of nervousness, I decided to call my dad. It felt important to share this strange, intoxicating sensation that had taken root in my life. Something I was still wrapping my head around, with my father being the only one that could ground me.

"Hey, daddy." I said, my voice betraying my enthusiasm. "Can we chat for a minute?" I could hear the warmth in his tone as he agreed, and just like that, I knew I was ready to pour my heart out.

I didn't waste any time diving into it. "So, there's this person. Woman." I began, biting my lip as I spoke. "Her name is Bey, and she's a mechanic."

"Continue, Onika."

I paused for a brief moment, contemplating how to convey the emotions swirling within me. "I know she's not exactly the type I usually go for, you know?"

I've always liked the polished types, the ones you'd expect to find at a charity gala instead of under a car hood.

"But Bey is different. She treats me so nice, like I'm the most special person in the world, even though she has three major priorities." My father's silence on the other end encouraged me to keep going, to let the words spill out.

There was an undeniable lightness to my tone, and I could almost hear the smile on my dad's face.

"I haven't felt like this in a long time." I said, a hint of disbelief lacing my voice. "She makes me laugh, and I don't know, it feels almost foolish but also so right." I could picture Dad's brow raising, probably full of curiosity but also the understanding that I was stepping into uncharted territory, something different from my typical choices.

As my excitement simmered down a notch, I hesitated, a heavy weight settling in my chest. "But, Dad, here's the thing. The three major priories of hers are her daughters. Not only is she a mechanic, she's a client of mine. I'm helping her to get full custody of her kids. Alani and Porsha don't like any of that. They just don't see the 'mechanic' or 'mother' part as something positive, you know?" The words slipped out in a rush, tinged with concern about how much weight I should give their opinions versus the lightness I felt in my own heart.

I held my breath, waiting for my father's response. I could feel the weight of my world hanging on his words.

"Sweetheart." He finally began, his voice steady and calm. "You know what matters most? It's how you feel about her. It doesn't come down to labels or what others think. Trust your gut. If she makes you happy and treats you well, who cares about what anyone else, even your friends, say?"

His simple encouragement wrapped around me like a warm blanket, soothing my anxieties.

"Just make sure you find joy in who you choose, and don't let their judgments cloud your heart," he continued, with conviction that echoed in my mind.

I felt an immeasurable sense of relief wash over me, realising that my feelings were valid and worthy of celebration regardless of external opinions. "Thanks, Daddy." I said, my heart lighter. "I really needed to hear that."