TNT Short Fics

Tour Mode - Addendum: Miami - Part 1/2

Thursday

Travis is just walking up the stairs to go to bed after turning off the game when his phone lights up with the selfie he and Taylor took together last weekend at Yankee Stadium.

"Hey, baby, I thought you were going to bed early tonight?"

Her voice is low, like she's lying down and he can hear a tinge of frustration, "Ugh, I was, but I can't sleep."

"Excited?" he asks. She's been sending him various snapshots of the new outfits all day, so he already knows the answer.

"I am! But... I don't know, Trav," she replies with an aggravated huff. "It feels different. Like... there are just all these emotions swirling around, and I can't latch on to one to figure out what it is."

"I mean that's understandable, Tay. I'm sure you're sad too. End of an era and all that. Not that I meant the pun."

She chuckles, but then sighs. "No, I mean, I'm sure that is coming, but this feels like..."

He waits her out this time, knowing she's almost there.

"I'm excited it's almost over."

It's quiet but it comes out in a rush like she's afraid someone might overhear. He knows it took a lot for her to say that, and that he's one of the few people she'd ever say it to. She never wants to seem ungrateful for what she's been given. Never wants not to appreciate exactly where she is.

"I think that is a perfectly normal feeling to have, Taylor," he reminds her.

She starts to argue, "I shouldn't..."

"Hey, none of that," he interrupts. "You should feel how you feel. That's valid. Besides, just because you feel that way doesn't mean that you aren't also excited to finish this out with everything you got, does it?"

"No..."

"And you are on the edge of your seat for all the stuff you've got cooked up for the fans, I know you are."

"Yes," she admits.

"Then it's okay to also be excited that something you've given your whole life to for two years-hell, more than two years-is over. And that you can do all the other things you're amazing at-writing, directing... I know you're excited to do some producing too."

He can hear the excitement come back to her voice at his reminder, "That's it. I want to put my mind to something else. I love the creativity of the mashups, but I want to make something new. Take my time with something new. Tortured Poets... I just had to get that out, but the next one... I want it to have my full attention. It deserves it, we deserve it."

"See? And all that other stuff we've talked about, Tay? It's okay to be excited to do that too. Seeing friends, sleeping in, learning to make croissants? You get that too."

For months now, Taylor has been working on being kinder to herself. Travis knows she's come a long way since before he met her. But it was during one of their late-night, meandering conversations this summer-she in Hamburg, him back at training camp-that something clicked, and she committed to being more forgiving of herself. His phone vibrates, and he swipes to switch to Facetime. She's tucked up in bed with the lights down low, gazing at him with a steady look-like maybe, just maybe, she believes him that she deserves these things.

"And you. Being with you," she says softly but firmly.

"And me," he answers. He never doubts that.

"My life is so different, Trav. Sometimes I can't even fathom," she explains, shaking her head. "But it's so good, and I just want to lean into that. Prioritize that. Because, God, that was all I wanted before this tour started, but I could have never dreamed up how good it could be. Not until now. Not until you."