the silent heartbeat

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The soft glow of the lights in the castle's living room cast a warm, almost ethereal glow across the space, bringing out the deep colors in the richly upholstered furniture and the glint of polished wood. I found myself back here with everyone, each of us sinking into the plush armchairs and sofas that circled the room. They all watched me, their expressions a mixture of curiosity and quiet encouragement, as if they could sense the weight of the decision I had come to. Elowen sat nearest, her eyes never leaving mine, her face calm but attentive, waiting for me to speak.

After a moment of silence, Elowen leaned forward, her voice gentle but direct. "What is your course, then?" she asked. "You said you'd made your decision earlier." Her gaze was steady, and I could see a flicker of understanding there, as if she already had some inkling of what I might say.

I took a deep breath, feeling the emotions swirling inside me like a storm, both excitement and trepidation merging into a powerful urge to act. I knew this wasn't a decision I could make lightly, but now that I'd chosen my path, the clarity felt like a newfound strength. I straightened, meeting their eyes with a determined look.

"I decided that I would take on this mission," I began, my voice strong but laced with the raw emotion I couldn't quite hide. "I realized that I want to say something to him... that I need to see him again." My gaze fell briefly, and my hands tightened on the arms of the chair. "And visiting him in his grave and talking to him as if he'd reply does not satisfy me. That's why I want to do this mission."

"Really?" Elowen asked. 

"Yeah." I replied. "And since I was blessed with this chance to meet him, even on the afterlife, then I might as well grabthis opportunity instead of wasting it. I have endured several months, almost a year without him. Its time for me to reward myself."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt an unburdening, like a long-held secret had finally been released. The intensity in the room grew. IThey didn't interrupt or question me—they just listened, understanding the gravity of what I had said. Elowen's expression softened, a hint of sympathy in her eyes, as though she understood that this wasn't merely a task for me; it was a journey to confront something deeply personal, something rooted in my past.

Berryl leaned back, folding his arms as he regarded me thoughtfully. "You're doing this because you have something to say to him?" he asked, a slight crease forming between his brows. "And... you're willing to go through with whatever challenges come your way for that? Honestly, who is he by the way? Didn't you said before that you don't know Oliver? And now you actually knew him?"

I immediately regreted saying that after I realized that I denied Oliver before in front of them before. I literally told them that I do not know Oliver, when in fact I do know him.Oh well, what a way to destroy a relationship.

"Yeah. I remember so too." Wallace said. "Do you know him, by any chance?" He asked. Others are silent, patiently waiting for my response. I stared at Elowen and saw that she just gave me a small smile as if coaxing me to saythe truth. 

After endless inner battle with myself, I finally gave in. 

It is now or never. I have opened up that statement and now that I accidentally slipped it out of my mouth, its best if I dwell in the truth and actually tell what is real. I don't want to lie to them again because that might aggravate the situation.

"Yes. I do know him." I confessed. "I do beg your sincere pardon if I ever denied him before you by lying. Its just that, I wanted everything of this to be surprise. Like, I planned to confess everything right after we met him on the end of the journey. But I guess that information slipped out of my mouth."