silent // tyler jøseph

chapter nine

Water poured down Tyler's body as he let out a long sigh; this was the first time he had showered since leaving the hospital, and it had taken until now for him to realise how much he needed it.

He ran a handful of shampoo through his oily hair, lathering it in as he thought about how much he needed a a haircut.

He began to daydream: he envisioned himself slipping on soap and hitting his head, concussing it and bleeding out on the floor and being found dead by Josh when he returned home from shopping.

He shook the thought away; no.

He felt better. He didn't feel the desire to die: not at the moment, at least.

He rinsed the shampoo out of his hair as he felt a sudden burst of cold air. He looked up to find the shower curtain open, Ella looking at him as she sighed, seemingly in relief.

He let out a yelp and covered himself. What was she doing in here?

Sorry, she signed. Josh?

Tyler let out a frustrated sigh, hesitantly taking his hand away from his...area, as he needed both hands to sign gone.

Where?

Store.

She nodded before he felt his cheeks heat up, and he quickly closed the shower curtain. There were annoying parts to this new life, and this was one of them.

Not being left alone for five minutes.

He understood why they'd be worried; and he understood that she was concerned since Josh was gone, however, he was fully capable of taking a shower on his own.

She opened up the curtain again as he washed his face; in embarrassment, he didn't look at her this time.

What?

She reached out a hand to turn his face, making eye contact with him. For the first time he found himself gazing into her deep blue eyes.

Good work, she signed.

He knew what she meant; the sign language. Perhaps he wasn't so bad at it after all.

The corners of his lips curved into a small smirk, and he looked down, shooing her away with his hand.

She smiled, her rounded teeth gleaming, before she obeyed, exiting the bathroom to let him finish his shower.

When he was done, he had changed into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie; it was a cooler day anyways, good for comfortable clothing.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, Ella sat at the counter, simply twiddling her thumbs as she waited for him.

A small smile on his face, he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, watching her in amusement.

It wasn't long before her eyes met his, her cheeks immediately turning a shade of pink.

Sorry, she sighed, motioning towards the bathroom.

He couldn't help but let himself chuckle as he nodded, waving his hands as if telling her to forget walking in on him.

After making his way into the kitchen, he sat beside her at the counter, she smiled softly, sliding his notebook over to write to him.

You smell nice.

He bit his lower lip as he read it; he probably hadn't smelled good since she met him, considering the fact that he had refused to shower.

Thank you, he signed.

She began to write again as he watched her, admiring how her strawberry blonde hair fell past her shoulders.

He was beginning to feel bad for the way he had treated her in the beginning; sure, she could be obnoxiously bubbly, but he came to wonder if that was all just a front.

And in any case, he hoped she'd be able to drop the mask for him now.

She lifted her head, sliding the notebook over to him. He stared at her neat handwriting beside his own messy scribbles, feeling a bit embarrassed that he hadn't put the effort in.

Where was Josh yesterday?

He pondered what to tell her; did he have to tell her the truth? That he had been difficult and pushed Josh away? Did he tell the truth about what an awful friend he was to someone who was trying to help him?

He bit his lower lip, picking up the pen and fidgeting with it for a moment, clicking the the button over and over. Though he couldn't hear it the sensation was still nice.

He lowered the pen to the paper, leaving its trail as he wrote.

We had a bit of a fight, he had to cool down. We made up this morning, it's fine now.

She read it, seeming pleased with the answer; she didn't push any further, at least.

He tapped his fingers against the counter until she returned the notebook, how neat her handwriting was sticking out to him again, as he read her new question.

Ready to start today's lesson?

He gave her a genuine smile, nodding as she began to write again.

I have a movie for you today; I think it may help. Don't worry, there will be captions.

He let himself chuckle; in some way, he was looking forward to it. He hadn't watched anything but the news on TV about his depressing condition since leaving the hospital.

When they got all situated on the couch, she started the movie. It was called "Mr. Holland's Opus," and as a musician, he had certainly heard of it before, however, never taken the time to watch it.

Ella had said it was about a musician learning his son is deaf; she had also said that it was her favourite movie.

As the movie went on, he certainly believed that: her eyes stayed consistently glued to the screen, watering at any emotional moment. She felt it all.

He began to wonder how she got into this, teaching sign language. Judging by her empathy, he assumed that it had maybe hit her close, perhaps her or someone she loved had once been deaf.

He had a newfound appreciation for her, it seemed as she truly did understand. And he felt guilty for trying to push her away. And she had been an angel for putting up with him though that was the case.

Suddenly, she shook him out of his thoughts, pointing to the screen excitedly.

"The best part," she mouthed to him.

He turned his attention to the television as he felt her hold his hand with an excited squeeze that told him this part was the reason she wanted to show him this film.

On the screen, the son, Cole, listened to music, and despite not hearing it, he felt it.

Tyler hadn't thought of that before.

A small smile crept up on his face as he saw the boy dancing to the beat he could feel through the vibrations.

Tyler had always felt the music; it wasn't only about the sound, was it?