When Ella showed up at Josh's house, she had waited forever at the door, knocking and ringing the doorbell with no answer.
When, finally, the door opened to reveal Tyler, a grumpy expression on his face.
Sorry, he had mouthed, as he stepped back into the house, throwing himself down on the couch as Ella followed.
His arms were crossed and he stared off into space at she approached him, standing in front of him to meet his gaze which he didn't give to her.
She waved her hand in front of his face.
Tyler, she finger-spelled. She couldn't ask him what was wrong and it frustrated her.
He glared at her. She didn't understand what his problem was; things had ended just fine yesterday. And where was Josh?
She looked around for the notebook. Where had Tyler put it? He usually carried it with him.
She let out a short sigh, fingerspelling notebook to him. At least he knew his letters.
Stop, he signed in reply.
Tyler. Notebook.
Stop.
Notebook, where?
"Trash!" He stood up, shouting in an unsteady voice that he couldn't hear himself.
She stared at him as he glared back at her, before it set in what he meant.
"You threw it away." She mumbled, earning a lip bite from him, before he pointed at his ears frustratedly.
She nodded in return, waving him off as she made her way to his room. Sitting in the small trash can beside his bed was his notebook, which he hadn't thrown away all too well.
She pulled it out, flipping to a new page. She shoved it at him with a pen, and he sighed.
I don't want this, He wrote.
She grabbed it from him. Why not?
Not the same.
The words on the paper hit her like a ton of bricks; not the same. His life would never be the same. No matter how much sign language she taught him, no matter how many times he wrote his words on a piece of paper, no matter how many times he used his actual voice; his life would never be the same.
And that was the sad truth.
Tears filled her eyes. She understood why he was so difficult. He just wanted his life back.
Her mom had only wanted the same.
She sat down, motioning for him to sit with her. He reluctantly lowered himself as she wrote in the notebook for him.
Tell me what happened.
What?
Tell me how you became deaf.
He held the notebook in his hand for a moment, his hands beginning to tremble.
We had just finished performing.
I went to go get us some coffee and donuts.
There was a weird man in there...
....He had a bomb strapped to him.
He froze for a moment, before finishing his writing.
He wouldn't let me leave.
With a soft sob, he shoved the notebook away, looking away as he huffed, trying to hold back tears.
"Oh, Tyler..." she muttered.
She reached out hesitantly, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He jerked his shoulder away, standing up and backing away. Judging by the bits and pieces of voice coming out of his mouth, he was trying to tell her something, but it was only weak stutters, before he growled, hitting himself in the head with his fist. And again. And again.
"Tyler!" She stood, grabbing his arm before he could hit himself once more. However, he was too strong for her, taking back his arm roughly.
She signed what he understood. Tyler, stop. Stop.
But he was beyond upset.
And she wished she had Josh here to help him, she was sure he knew what to do.
Tyler fell to the floor, holding his ears with his hands. She could only imagine that this was an action to give him some control on not being able to hear anything. It was breaking her heart to see him like this.
She stepped over to him with the notebook, setting in front of him in case he needed to say something.
She felt as if she was intruding on a delicate moment as she listened to his frightened breathing, watched him with his eyes shut tight.
She reached out to him, but retracted, not wishing to make him angry.
So she just sat there with him in silence.
After seemingly calming down a bit, he removed his hands from his ears, tears streaming down his face as he sobbed.
He fumbled for the pen, writing in the notebook.
I want to hear again. I want my hearing back. Please just tell me this is a nightmare.
Ella read it, sighing solemnly.
He stared into her eyes as he continued to write.
It's too quiet.
I can only hear my thoughts.
It's too quiet.
He gave her the notebook, watching at her expectantly.
She had no idea what to say to him.
Did it really get better? It didn't for her mom.
And she wasn't about to lie to him.
But she was determined to help him. She was determined to make it all better all on her own.
You aren't alone.
He was still for a moment as he read he scribbled handwriting.
Then why do I feel so alone?
Ella didn't know what to say; she only opened up her arms for the man.
After a moment of hesitation, he brokenly fell into her embrace, his face buried in the crook of her neck.
She held him the way she would hold something delicate and fragile, as if he could shatter if touched in the wrong way.
She held him the way she wished she could hold her mother again.
She caressed his hair as if to tell him she was here.
That he would be okay.
Because she would make sure of that.
YOU ARE READING
silent // tyler jøseph
Fanfic"and nøw i just sit in silence." in which the singer of twenty one pilots loses his hearing, ultimately losing his ability to do everything that he loves. after tyler's best friend decides that he needs help, he hires a woman to teach him sign lang...
