Missing

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I have left my apartment behind, checking my phone. I got my black jacket on. Haha I love black it is my favorite color, just like red. But I wear mostly black. Why? Bc all the other colors make me look so dull.

It may sound too cliche but I enjoy looking at things that have pretty sight on them, for example if the sky is red and clouds are black. I think that's pretty, I hate the blue sky and white clouds, bc it pisses me off. In this rotten ass world.

There as I think this to myself.. I keep wondering, how should I end my life? Do I want to grow old and regret my life or do I want to take control of my life and do what I want? While pretending that everything is ok.

My past still haunts me, my actions that never were my own fault. My broken home, the advantage I was taken over by. My family that only brought me ruin and broken heart. Hell was colder than ever before. That was and has been my whole life. Up until this point where I would bring myself down, until the sun which burns bright would fall to the ground.

Moon has always been pretty and shiny, but my sky has no light only pitch black dark. The light in my life is fainting.. I'm coming undone. Why did people have to ever hurt me? Whatte hell did I ever do to deserve all of this? Nothing. Nothing but exist in this wrong awful world.

I swear if I meet another person who insults me who thinks this is all ok, who pretends that life ain't so bad. I will fucking kill them.

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