Piece

Turn

I have felt those instances of quilt, but on all what's dear to me have been gone. Why would I want to hurt another person? Myself and I could never. You would need to be dead inside and outside. Dead and gone. To the point nothing matters anymore, your life would have to be come undone. Your days would need to be just miserable, any meaning and chosen ability to believe in fate, would be destroyed. Your whole life would be hell. Sounds a lot like my own life, but I have not lost myself, I have not been put down to my knees, raped or violated. I have been abused but that's all on my end. But that guy I had just killed. He was not a victim, he was a vile evil man. And there is no mistaking his ambitions, his feelings, were ruptured with self-loathing agony, needing the reason to go hurt others, to violate them and possibly murder them, all while being filmed. Would he have gotten away with it? It doesn't matter he is already dead.

And I still breath in this accursed world around me, I can hear the clock ticking inside my mind. As I succumb to despair, I break the chains off of me, and fall into deep sleep. Watching everyone moves, waiting to wake up from my dream I have gotten into now. I wish I could dream forever, at least then I don't need to live on this fucking garbage ass world.

I have closed my eyes, no sound leaves my side. And as I dream on not waking up until it's time, a moment passes and I open my eyes, waking up for no reason.. I feel the rush of hate in me. It wants more, do I need go outside again? Will I be able to control myself? If I meet another evil person again.. I will kill them. And it will be worse than my first kill.

I have a natural way to attack and kill a person. There is no hesitation, I'm a true killer. I never wanted to kill anyone until they ruined my life.

What was the reason for any of this? How far will I reach next time? What end awaits me? Who is it I meet after this? Is there something inside me that wants to get out? Do I meet my end soon? Who will it be to take my life? Or does this all fall to me, to choose how will I go.

..I turn at myself, I see the kid. Is that me? Am I dreaming or is this hallucination? Where have I been now? Should I wake up? What exactly is going on? The buildings are falling, sky is burning .. the child in front of me standing looking at me and pointing towards the empty sky. Is that fire that is coming my way? I can feel the darkness surround me, poison drops to my skin. I want to get away .. but instead I'm standing still, waiting the child to come get me.

He touches my hand I look at him, words come from his pretty mouth..

"Wake up."

I open my eyes and look up, was that me just now? Who did I see? Why did I dream of that? Has the bastard been found yet? Did anyone at all care? I need to check the media .. maybe it's on the newspaper, fuck.

Crossing thoughts on my mind I finally wake up.