Piece

Ripped

I wake up from my dream again, and I was with that "child" again, and during my dream, we were looking around a space and time, as they were flowing through the area. And then that child said to me, "Are you having fun with me?" And I answered back to him, "Yes." And he laughs like a kid, "Hahahaha!" And then he says to me, "I am having fun with you too." And we smile at each other and then he takes me with him by grabbing my right hand again.

And we go through an empty gap, as we fall and then fly on, and head right off the cords .. and a road beneath us has shattered apart. And the child yells at me, "Your time will end soon!" And I look at him in the eyes and he grabs my right hand again and yells at me again, .. "But not until we have had our fun! Together!" He says it to me so lovingly, that I almost feel like he is an angel. Even if he looks like someone who would kill and murder them including all of demons too. And then he smiles again .. with his both eyes closed, and because he is having so much fun with me, I think that I could stay here forever.

As it ends again, I wake up again, and I have my eyes open again. And I stare at my ceiling and then I ask myself, .. "Who are you?"

And I am laying down on my bed still, and then I check my table clock on my right side, for what time is it. And it's past the morning. Exactly twelve pm. The red numbers don't lie. And then I get up, and I do my usual morning routine, and then I go eat a meal. And I decide to go cook it by myself. But it's weird, my home has been just recently cleaned, and yet it looks no different from the way I had previously left it in.

I am really at the point of my life now where I should share something about myself that I like, as much as I hate eating food, among various of other things, I do like snacking on some sea salted hand made potato chips, and I like eating white vegan chocolate, because of those habits I had before. I also made a habit of drinking tea more often than I would like to admit, my favourite is green tea, but I don't mind the other teas either, and it is always caffeine free and natural and organic, rarely, I put some raw honey into it, when I take less sugar during the day, I also keep my teeth without stains by using the creams with my tea, lactose and dairy free, but I don't mind the cream to be added into my tea, because it is low in fat and also without additives. I also snack on some yogurt with only low and natural sugar. Why does any of this matter at all now? Because I desperately want to find something that I did not openly hate in my life.

There are only a fraction of the things, that I value. In my whole ass life.

Expect, this was not a confession, but rather my way of coping with my fucking misery, that was bestowed upon me, by the humanity. Jokes a side, low sugar foods, and those with natural sugar, are always going to be my favourites. As long as the food I eat is healthy and good for me. And my body "demands it," I don't give a shit.

But for some reason, the foods that are harmful for health, still exist. Perhaps people are so fucking pathetic. That they simply want to live their lives to the fullest, without caring. But that attidute, will get them all killed. In the end.

And I will be laughing at them all after they all die.

Some people die sooner than the others, while others survive until they can't go on anymore, and the rest will live up to their very last days, like there were some meaning in that.

And me? I cannot wait to find my end, and have death release me.

I wonder, how long will it be until I find my end? And how many have I killed by now? I said before that I had lost the count, but at this point I can't even tell what the exact number really is. And the best way to describe it would be a dozen, because each day has been way and more worse than the previous day was, and I know it will only get worse from here on out.