The Chains: Temptations

37 - Fooled

NICO

Hours before...

I'm fucking exhausted.

I've been spinning my wheels for five days now, just racing around to keep my mind and body busy. Anything to avoid heading back to the penthouse. I have to stick myself in this endless loop, trying to distract myself from Mara waiting for me there.

This feeling is familiar to me.

I've been bouncing around a ton of warehouses, checking out all the weapon and drug shipments that are stacking up. I'm in the thick of negotiations between the different families in New York, juggling meetings and trying to come up with strategies. It's a whirlwind of chaos, and I'm just trying to keep everything straight. New York is more chaotic and I like it because I can handle. Miami was calmer.

But I still can't bring myself to go back home, not to sleep or even just lie down on the bed. It feels impossible to relax with everything swirling around me. That everything being Mara.

I've been spending most of my time at one of my gyms, basically crashing there for the rest of the day. It's become my escape, a way to zone out and work off all this restless energy.

Right now, I'm actually changing the oil in this old wreck of a car. It's a way to keep my hands busy and my mind off all the distractions and the stuff that makes my heart ache.

I've been trying to pick up little things that I used to do when I was here. I used to do this when I was younger. After my first overdose at sixteen, Dad would send me to work with his friends at the repair shop to keep me distracted and away from relapsing. It was his way of trying to help me stay grounded.

I picked up a thing or two about cars while I was there. They appreciated that I learned quickly and didn't cause any trouble, despite my history of constant fighting in school and my struggles with addiction. It felt good to prove I could handle it.

But I've also skipped some days to go to my granduncle's place to train. It's a mix of guns, knives, and combat—anything to keep me sharp and focused.

Dad would tell me not to go but clearly I didn't listen. He also didn't like that my mother's uncle was spoiling me and Rico whenever we went because we'd bring back things that he brought us. Papa came from nothing so he never wanted to spoil us to keep us grounded so granduncle showering us with gifts and money pissed him off.

He's never liked that side of my mom's family, neither did she.
My mom's side of the family was divided into two different parts.

The good and the bad.

She probably never wanted this as my future. Dad would tell me how it was immoral—and yes it was—and that my mother wouldn't want my future to be involved in the mafia.

While Zina was the black swan, I was the black sheep of the family.

To this day, I still wonder why Dad never compared me to Rico or Zina. He never pulled that kind of stuff, even when I was silently disrespecting him in his own home. It's like he chose to see me for who I am, flaws and all, instead of holding me up against them.

Whenever I'd visit my granduncle, I used to drag Rico along just to get his nose out of those books he always had time for. He was always the fucking nerd between the both of us. I'm glad he was the one because look at him now.

Richest and the most desired man in the world.

At first, he was against going without Dad's permission, but I convinced him to chill out and have some fun. Once we got there, he started to enjoy it—picking up things you can't learn from books. It was great seeing him open up to all that.