The War Hammer of Hogwarts - Harry Potter

I Make an IED

The next day, Harry and I were just coming back from Madame Pomfrey when we passed Percy.  He looked much happier to see us than he had been when we'd been leaving Myrtle's bathroom.

Percy: Oh, hello, Harry, YN.  Excellent flying yesterday, both of you.  Gryffindor have just taken the lead for the House Cup, you earned fifty points!

Harry: You haven't seen Pieck, Ron, or Hermione, have you?

Percy: No, I haven't.  I hope Ron's not in another girls' toilet...

Harry and I laughed, watched Percy until he was out of sight, and then headed straight for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.  I couldn't see why they'd be in there again, but after making sure that neither Filch nor any Prefects were around, we opened the door and heard their voices coming from a locked cubicle.  I smirked and spoke in a high pitched voice.

YN: Housekeeping!

Pieck squeaked, and Hermione and Ron went silent.

Harry: It's us.

Pieck: YN, why would you do that?

I just laughed as Hermione opened the door.

Hermione: Come in, Harry how's your arm?

Harry: Probably better than it would have been if YN hadn't-

YN: You mean if my broom hadn't?

Harry: Uh huh.  Right.

An old cauldron was perched on the toilet, and a crackling from under the rim told us they had lit a fire beneath it.  Conjuring up portable, waterproof fires was a specialty of Hermione's.

Pieck: We decided to get started on the Polyjuice Potion.  We've decided this is the safest place to hide it.

Harry started to tell them about Colin, but Hermione interrupted him.

Hermione: We already know, we heard Professor McGonagall telling Professor Flitwick this morning.  That's why we decided we'd better get going...

Ron: The sooner we get a confession out of Malfoy, the better.  D'you know what I think?  He was in such a foul temper after the Quidditch match, he took it out on Colin.

YN: I mean, Colin's a little annoying...

All four of them glared at me.

YN: But he obviously didn't deserve to be petrified.

Harry: There's something else.  Dobby came to visit me in the middle of the night.

The others looked up, amazed.  Harry told us everything Dobby had told him.

Hermione: The Chamber of Secrets has been opened before?

Ron: This settles it!  Lucius Malfoy must've opened the Chamber when he was at school here and now he's told dear old Draco how to do it.  It's obvious.  Wish Dobby'd told you what kind of monster's in there, though.  I want to know how come nobody's noticed it sneaking round the school.

Hermione: Maybe it can make itself invisible.  Or maybe it can disguise itself, pretend to be a suit of armor or something.  I've read about Chameleon Ghouls...

Pieck: You read too much, Hermione.

Ron: So Dobby stopped us getting on the train and broke your arm.  You know what, Harry?  If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you.

The news that Colin Creevey had been attacked and was now lying as though dead in the hospital wing had spread through the entire school by Monday morning.  The air was suddenly thick with rumor and suspicion.  The first years were now moving around the castle in tight knit groups, as though scared they would be attacked if they ventured forth alone.  Ginny, who sat next to Colin Creevey in Charms, was distraught, but Harry felt that Fred and George were going the wrong way about cheering her up.  They were taking it in turns to cover themselves with fur or boils and jump out at her from behind statues.  They only stopped when Percy, nearly having a stroke with rage, told them he was going to write to Mrs Weasley and tell her Ginny was having nightmares.  On the other hand, Falco and Luna were spending a lot of time together.  I took every chance I could to tease him about it, much to his annoyance.  Meanwhile, hidden from the teachers, a roaring trade in talismans, amulets, and other protective devices was sweeping the school.  Neville Longbottom bought a large green onion, a pointed purple crystal, and a rotting newt tail before the other Gryffindor boys pointed out that he wasn't in danger.  He was a pure-blood, and therefore unlikely to be attacked.

Neville: They went for Filch first.  And everyone knows I'm almost a Squib.

YN: Technically it went for Filch's cat first, and honestly we've all thought about throwing her out a window.

In the second week of December Professor McGonagall came around as usual, collecting names of those who would be staying at school for Christmas.  Harry, Ron, and Hermione signed the list.  They had heard that Malfoy was staying, which struck them as very suspicious.  But when I revealed that I would be leaving for the holidays, they were surprised.

Hermione: You're going home for Christmas?

YN: Yeah, I miss my parents.  Plus the potion won't work on me, so I don't need to be here.

The holidays would be the perfect time to use the Polyjuice Potion and try to worm a confession out of Malfoy.  Unfortunately, the potion was only halfway done.  We still needed the Bicorn horn and the Boomslang skin, and the only place we were going to get them was from Snape's private stores.

Hermione: What we need is a diversion. Then one of us can sneak into Snape's office and take what we need.

We looked at her nervously.

Hermione: I think I'd better do the actual stealing.  Harry and Ron will be expelled if they get in anymore trouble, and I've got a clean record.

YN: Hey, what about Pieck and I?

Hermione: I'm the only one that knows a spell to unlock the door.

Pieck: That's fair.

Hermione: YN, what I need you to do is cause enough mayhem to keep Snape busy for five minutes or so.

I grinned.

YN: Consider it done.

Potions lessons took place in one of the large dungeons.  Thursday afternoon's lesson proceeded in the usual way.  Twenty cauldrons stood steaming between the wooden desks, on which stood brass scales and jars of ingredients.  Snape prowled through the fumes, making waspish remarks about the Gryffindors' work while the Slytherins sniggered appreciatively.  Draco Malfoy, who was Snape's favorite student, kept flicking pufferfish eyes at Ron and Harry, who knew that if they retaliated they would get detention faster than you could say "unfair".  Pieck and I were, as usual, exempt from Snape's remarks, even he couldn't pretend our potions weren't perfect. We waited for Hermione's signal.  When Snape turned and walked off to bully Neville, Hermione caught my eye and nodded.  I smirked, pressing my heel into the ground.  With a soft crackling, hardening began to spread over the floor, moving towards Malfoy's cauldron.  Once it was underneath... bang.  A spike shot up and punctured the bottom of the cauldron.  The hardening disintegrated, but the damage had been done.  Malfoy's cauldron bubbled... then exploded. People shrieked as splashes of the Swelling Solution hit them.  Malfoy got a faceful and his nose began to swell like a balloon.  Goyle blundered around, his hands over his eyes, which had expanded to the size of dinner plates, while Snape was trying to restore calm and find out what had happened.  Through the confusion, Harry saw Hermione slip quietly out of the door.

Snape: Silence!  SILENCE!  Anyone who has been splashed, come here for a Deflating Draught.  When I find out who did this...

I tried not to laugh as we watched Malfoy scurry forward, his head drooping with the weight of a nose like a small melon.  As half the class lumbered up to Snape's desk, some weighed down with arms like clubs, others unable to talk through gigantic puffed up lips, I saw Hermione slide back into the dungeon, the front of her robes bulging.  When everyone had taken a swig of antidote and the various swellings had subsided, Snape swept over to Malfoy's cauldron, which was in pieces on the floor.  There was a sudden hush.

Snape: If I ever find out who did this, I shall make sure that person is expelled.

YN: Professor, could it have been that Malfoy's potion was made incorrectly?

Snape: Five points from Gryffindor, Mr Tybur.