Crossroads

Monster

Vader's POV: 

I knew the Force was strong with her, but I didn't realize it would be that strong.  A little goading always does the trick-- landing a few blows where it hurts the most.  Not the nicest, kindest way to go about it, but it always does the trick. 

This wasn't my first time-- I had tracked down hundreds of Jedi.  Goading them into a fight so I could snap their necks was easy, almost too easy.  Land a few blows where their wounds are, and they always had plenty.  I had always been good at reading others, reading their thoughts and sensing their emotions.  I could sense their pain, their heartache, their burdens.  

A few strikes in the right place, they would come swinging and I would satsify that thirst to kill.  To snuff out a life as I heard the satisfying snap of their bones as they fell to my feet.  The light left their eyes, the warmth left their skin. Another Jedi, snuffed out of existence. 

But Rayya had fought back.  She hadn't swung, but my jabs were in the right place.  I saw her lonliness, those cold, lonely nights in the wilderness surrounded by silence and the buzz of some creatures.  It was her, all alone in the universe.  I saw her weaknesses, her insecureness of herself.  

She saw herself as weak, tiny.  Nothing. She hated her body, her mind, her lack of muscle.  It was the perfect weakness, and I highlighted it.

But I hadn't expected that sheer amount of rage, that amount of power.  I had seen it once in the interrogation chambers, though I believed it came from a place of betrayal since I had reached into her mind and dug around in it.  It makes people feel violated, and it usuauly triggers anger and an aggressive response. 

She had shoved me back hard, sending my back smacking into the wall.  I had to be careful getting up, ensuring she didn't see my face.  Despite what she thought, I didn't have a specific reason for why I hid it from her.  I just liked feeling her annoyance at my actions.  It was slightly fun, and I didn't have much fun anymore.  Hadn't had fun in years. 

I had seen a glimpse of the rage and the power underneath.  A spark of her full power, a scratch along the surface.  I ached to see the full display of it-- she almost reminded me of myself, all those years ago.  Young and angry at the world, full of anger and misdirected rage.  

She intrigued me so much, but I had to be careful with that.  Too much intrigue could lead to stepping over a line.  And that could not happen. 

The Emperor had given me instruction to start training her, though I doubt she could train for long at the size she was.  I needed her to be evaluated by the doctor on board before I did anything next.  I may be a monster, but I needed an apprentice who could actually fight and win.  Not one who would fall over because she was so small and unhealthy.

I pounded on her door the following morning.  She answered almost immediately, clearly terrified of what might happen if she kept me waiting.

And she was right-- I didn't like to be kept waiting.

Her face was scrubbed fresh, faintly red from her time in the shower.  Her skin was sallow and pale, though her eyes stared brightly up at me. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, though her hair was so dry and brittle.  It had lost its shine over the years-- I had taken the liberty of pulling any records of photos of her from the archives of the Empire.  I had found one wanted poster of her from when she first dissapeared.  No records from the Order were found, and that was quite irritating. 

The Rayya form three years ago looked nothing like the woman who stood in front of me.  In the photo, her hair gleamed, blonde and brown and silky.  It tumbled over her shoudlers, falling in delicate waves down to her chest.  Her bright green eyes stared back from the photo, flecks of mischief taunting me from the page.  Those eyes hadn't changed, though they had dulled slightly.  And she had been strong, built, filled out her robes and uniform well.

Now, she had lost probably thirty pounds or more, her arms small and skinny, her ribs clear underneath the black top she wore this morrning.  She also moved like she had no energy, because she clearly didn't.  Those long years had taken a toll on her small body, and it was clear she lacked much nutrience. 

If she would be any use to me at all, she needed some more weight on her bones.  And fast. 

"What's on the agenda today?" she asked, eyeing me slowly.  I had noticed that she looked me up and down quite often, like she didn't exactly know how to look at me or approach me.  It was quite comical honestly. 

"I'm taking you to the med bay." 

She stopped dead in her tracks, clearly surprised by my answer. 

"I'm not injured." She quipped back, irritation clear in her tone. 

"You may not be right now, but with your weight you can get injured easily."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to comment on a woman's weight?" She snapped.  I held back a smirk. 

"Yes, they did.  But you're small and weak.  You're no use to me if you can't even properly hold a saber."

"I promise you, I have no trouble holding a saber." 

"You will when I have my way with you."

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them instantly.  Rayya's face turned a dark shade of red, her eyes flicking to the ground and her mouth dropping open slightly.

"Say nothing," I chastised.

****************************************************************************

"Lift up your garments, please," the droid beeped.  Rayya's face fell slightly, showing her discomfort.  Having me in the room likely also made her quite uncomfortable, but I needed to see what her limits her.  Seeing how tiny she was would likley help me figure that out.

But if she asked me to leave, I would without hesitation.  A strange part of me wanted to stay to make sure she felt okay and safe-- though why anyone would want me around to make them feel safe likley had lost their minds.  When I entered a room, fear and terror took hold.  Not safety  by any means. 

I stood in the corner, keeping my gaze fixed on the far wall of the clinic whiel Rayya disrobbed just mere feet away.  I don't why it was so hard for me to keep my eyeballs trained on that dark wall. The rustling of fabric and a soft groan fileld the air as she disrobbed. 

The droid buzzed as it examined her, though there likely wasn't much to examine because she was so frail and starved from years of solitude and malnutrition. 

"Turn around, please." 

At that moment, knowing most of her body would be out of line of sight, I dared a glance over.  MY stomach sunk and summersaulted at once, a feeling of nausea climbing in my throat. I hadn't realized how small she actually was.  

The strength she had displayed was not indicative of someone who was that small. I could see hershoulder bones, straining underneath her pale, sallow skin.  I could see her ribs even from behind, and her hips and waist were so small that the pants sagged desperately on her figure. 

I think I was going to be ill, just seeing how gaunt this girl was, but she stil managed to put a fight against me. A good fight at that, and she didn't back down. A part of me wanted to make the chefs cook a huge meal for her so she could slolwy gain some weight and get some muscle back, but that would take time.  Her stomach was likely so small she couldn't eat a lot without getting sick. 

Baby steps-- I would feed her a high-protein, high calorie diet until she had gained a sufficient amount of weight back.  I was so zoned out in my thoughts that I didn't notice she had tugged her shirt back on, the droid scurrying off to process her blood work. 

"Master?" She asked, looking at me with a confused look. "Are you alright?" 

I cleared my throat, shaking off ideas and thoughts. "Go back and get some rest. No training today."

"Why not?"

"Because I am not so much a monster that I would make someone who is exhuasted, malnourished, and uncomfortable exert such force and power." I hissed, surprised why I was so aggitated. 

"Go get some rest. A droid will bring you your meals."

I left, leaving my apprentice staring after me and wondering what had just happened.  I was wondering the same thing.