Crossroads

Breathtaking

I hadn't trained for the past few days-- my bloodwork had yet to return from the lab. Vader's orders.  Which strike me as quite odd-- he's ruthless and terrifying, with the Dark Side wrapped around him.  The ground almost shook when he walked, trembling beneath him.  And yet, he had taken me to the doctor.  Allowed them to draw blood and make sure I'm healthy before hhe puts me through the wringer. 

A part of me was defintely terrified when he stood in the room when the droid took my blood.  And when I had taken off my shirt, the heat of embarrasment rose to my cheeks.  A few years ago, I wouldn't have batted my eyelash at a man looking at me. I mean, yes, I cared.  I was a Jedi, I swore an oath to not have any personal attachments.  

So I would have cared slightly.  But now I really do care.  I know what my figure looks like now-- I am not as filled out as I used to. I used to have this goregous hair, sparkling eyes, and strong body. I'm scrawny now, a fraction of the person I once was. 

I felt humiliated disrobing in front of Vader--- not just because he was my Master, and I his apprentice.  But because I am sure he has seen his fair share of women, and I likely wasn't high on that list. 

I felt him turn away at the sight of me.  Did that turn my pride just a little? Well, yes.  I may not know what he looks like fully, but it isn't hard to guess that he wields both great power and great looks.  

I've been left to just stare at my ceiling all day, just praying for that test to come back. I've been here so long I am starting to want to train with Vader.  I can either sit and wonder, or I can go find him. He is just across the hall, after all. 

I throw on a black sweater that sags against my thin shoulders, then slip on some black slippers.  Of course, all of the clothes they provided me were black. Figures.  My old clothes, the ones I was captured in were likley burned.  Or maybe they went in some sort of vault where all captured Jedi robes go.  God knows what they did in this place. 

The hallways are quiet, then again they always are.  I feel terrified slightly, like a child going to their parents expecting a tongue-lashing. I knock on the door once, a soft tap.  I doubt he would ever expect anyone else other than myself. 

A few moments pass-- silence.  I knock again.  Nothing.  I check my watch. It's not even dinner-time.  There's no way he would be asleep by now. 

"Can I help you?" A voice reaches my ears.  It almost scares me, snekaing up on me since my focus was elsewhere.  A Trooper advances toward me, his blaster in his hand.  My instinct is to reach for my saber, but it's no longer there.  And I bet Vader has given strict instructions for me to not be harmed while I am here. 

"Um, I am looking for Vader.  He said this was his quarters." 

"Only his second quarters, ma'am.  His primary sleeping chambers is several floors up." 

A second sleeping quarters??? Why did he have two? Who needed two? 

"Why two?" I asked. 

"This one is for when he isn't as busy.  The one upstairs is larger and allows Lord Vader to have guests."

"Guests?" I snapped, suddenly curious.

The Trooper remained silent-- I sensed whatever teh answer was, he was not at liberty to discuss it.  But he didn't have to-- I could hear his thoughts.

Lord Vader would slice my throat if I told his apprentice he had female guests over. 

A pit of dread filled my stomach, wrapping and coiling around itself. Nausea crept into my throat, and I shoved it down immediately. No, I was NOT jealous or perturbed or anything. I just found it revolting that while he slept around, I was a prisoner.  Taken from what little semblance of a home she had, thrust into this new world and made to train.