I'm A Secret

Chapter 53

"Don't fu***** touch me"

Two people I cared about the most betrayed me. So, yeah I don’t want to be touched by either of you.

Agad akong umiwas ng hahawakan niya ang balikat ko.

"It's cold, ang lamig ng kamay mo. Wear my co-"

"Since nandito ka naman na. Ikaw na maghatid kay Ruzena. Moment niyo nadin" Mabilis na sabi ko at umalis na. I feel like crying again.

Ugh. Akala ko kaya ko.

Ayoko siyang pansinin. I don't want to talk to her. I just want to go home. I want to hug and kiss my Whis.

"I s-said don't t-touch me" nagtakip lang ako ng mata. Ayokong makita niyang umiiyak ako. Ayokong kaawaan na naman.

"Then tell me, why are you crying?"

Ayoko na sanang magsalita. Ayoko na. Ayoko ng makita niya kung gaano ako kahina pagdating sa kanya. I don't want to talk about my feelings anymore.

But damn. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong maglabas ng sama ng loob. Ngayon lang. Huli na to.

Huling araw na makikita mo akong nasasaktan ng dahil sayo.

You fu***** broke me this time Echo.

"He loves me" What?

"He finally confessed. 'I love you so much Pandora Perez'. And that's the most wonderful words anyone has ever said to me. He loves me too. C-can you believe that?" Lumalayo lang ako pag nagtatangka siyang punasan ang luha ko.

I can't risk it. Alam kong mawawala lahat ng galit na nararamdaman ko pag hinawakan niya ako.

"R-really? Then why are you crying?" Natawa nalang ako. Yeah? Bakit nga ba?

I just saw you with your ex! You fu***** kissed!

"Because now, I don't know if it's true. If it's sincere. I just saw he- him. He looks so happy talking to her Ex. Pfft and fu**! They kissed too."

"Then stop loving him! Dora he's hurti-"

"Oh gosh. Why the hell are you so stupid! Hindi talaga dugo yang dumadaloy sa katawan mo eh noh! It's a fu***** anesthesia" hahaha it's not gonna work. Naglakad nalang ulit ako palayo pero humarang na siya.

"Who is it? Kakakita mo lang? Nandito ba? Why the hell do you love him so much?! You deserve more! You des-"

"Fu** deserve! I j-just let me go home okay? Let's talk tomorrow. N-not now."

"Damn Dora! What do you want from him! What d-"

"I want you!. . . . I want you to want me."

But you don't want me.

"I don't understand" she whispered

"I want you to see me. I want to be with you. I want many things with you. I want you to love me. But above all, I want you to be sincere. I don’t want to share; I don’t want just a piece of you. I want all of you. I want you to love me the way I love you. I know I’m asking a lot, but... is it wrong? If it is, then I’m sorry. I won’t lower myself by begging or being your second option when you can’t have her. I am not her. If you’re only thinking of her when you’re with me then fu**! I don’t want your love."

"I am not a fu***** waiting shed. Na tatambayan mo lang habang naghihintay ka sa kanya. Na if kaya ka na niyang ipaglaban, eh iiwan mo nalang akong mag isa. So don't be with me while you're waiting for someone else"

Wala na akong paki alam kung ma gets niya. Oh kung hindi man dahil tanga siya. Gusto ko lang sabihin sa kanya. I'm done.

I looked straight to her eyes.