Kissing the Demon (Seoksoo)

Seokmin

I'd questioned the sanity of agreeing to go to dinner a hundred times since I'd ended the call with Seungkwan. Through the remainder of the drive home, my shower, and getting ready, I'd grappled with whether or not this was a sensible idea.

Nothing about the way Joshua made me feel was sensible.

What ultimately decided it for me was that, no matter how much I denied it, I wanted to see Joshua. At first, I'd thought this was because seeing him again would prove I'd blown our first two meetings out of proportion. But with every step towards Vernon's bookshop, I recognised that for the excuse it was.

I wanted to see Joshua. The man who had made it impossible for me to take anyone else to bed because, every time I tried, I couldn't get his face out of my mind. Couldn't forget the way he looked as I walked away from him that night.

That was a ridiculous way of thinking though. What guy goes around obsessing about a man he's met twice? No doubt Joshua would take out a restraining order on me if he could see the thoughts going around my brain. Not that there was any risk of him finding out. I'd barely acknowledged the way Joshua made me feel that night to myself, let alone anyone else. Even Seungkwan had been left in the dark, despite his many attempts to get me to open up. Tonight, though, my resolve felt fragile. The thought of walking into that flat and seeing Joshua in such a confined space threatened to break down the carefully constructed walls I'd built around the enigmatic man.

The one taste I'd had of Joshua proved I couldn't take him to bed and walk away unscathed. Even if Joshua didn't want more, I couldn't trust that I wouldn't feel the same. And that...scared me. No, the smartest thing to do was relegate him to the friend zone. Whenever our paths crossed in future, we wouldn't be surrounded by awkwardness.

Shake this off, I told myself as I knocked on Seungkwan's door. For fuck's sake, we'd met twice. Over half a year ago. The taste of Joshua's lips, the way his body moved against mine, the way he made me feel...those weren't actually him. Hopefully, by getting to know him as a person, I would be able to see his flaws and realise he was a normal bloke—one I could handle being around without wanting to tear his clothes off.

The door swung open to reveal my best friend grinning. No matter how many times I'd seen the look of contentment in his eyes over the last several months, I still wasn't quite used to it. Seungkwan was in such a dark place after what his dickhead ex did to him, but being with Vernon gave him the courage to be happy again. "You came!"

"I said I would," I grumbled, reaching out to give him a brief hug.

"Yeah, well, after all the times you've ducked out on me recently, forgive me for being sceptical."

A twinge of guilt twisted my stomach. "I see you every day in school."

"That's not the same, and you know it," he chided, turning on his heel and heading for the stairs.

There was nothing more to say as I followed him up. Each step closer to the flat had my chest tightening. I couldn't help but strain to hear Joshua's voice, but there was nothing. Maybe he wasn't here yet. That was a good thing. I could get a couple of drinks in my system before...

My thoughts trailed away as I stepped through the door after Seungkwan and my eyes landed on Joshua. His back was to me, his muscles tight beneath the turtleneck jumper he wore. I couldn't help but trail my gaze down his torso, my mouth watering at the way his tight denim jeans framed his taut derriere and slender legs. Biker boots topped off his look, adding an element of danger I didn't associate with Joshua.

I was vaguely aware of Seungkwan and Vernon having an exchange, but I couldn't hear anything past the buzzing in my ears. Everything was focused on the man draining his glass and putting it carefully on the side. The man who inhaled deeply and steeled his shoulders before turning to face me.