Kissing the Demon (Seoksoo)

Joshua

The night air felt extra cold after the heat I'd shared with Seokmin. I settled on his roof with a sigh, casting a compulsion net before nestling against the chimney. I'd spent so many nights in this exact position that I'd figured out where was comfiest.

Yes, I was fully aware that I'd mocked Vernon for his stalker behaviour with Seungkwan, but hey, at least I wasn't in his bedroom watching him sleep.

Even if that's secretly where I wanted to be.

Being with Seokmin was the first time sex had ever felt...intimate. Despite the frantic way it ended, it felt like I shared a part of my soul with someone.

So when I'd felt Seokmin tense underneath me, I hadn't been surprised. If he'd felt even a smidge of what I had, I knew he would panic. It'd hurt, but I'd known I'd needed to leave before he asked me to.

I couldn't put myself through rejection after what we'd experienced together.

Now though, alone in the cold, I was starting to question myself. Knowing it would keep me up all night, I pulled out my phone and hit the number at the top of my favourites. It rang for a solid minute before a rough voice answered.

"Shua? Why the fuck are you calling Seungkwan at one in the morning?"

Shit, was it really that late? "Why are you answering his phone? If I wanted to speak to you, I would've called you."

Vernon grunted. "Because Seungkwan, like most normal people, is asleep."

"Good thing I'm not normal," I chirped. "Now, can I speak to him or not?"

There was a long pause. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think there's something wrong?"

"Well, the fact you're calling my fiancé at one in the morning was my first clue." The sarcasm was strong with this one. "But...my instincts tell me you're hurting. So I'll ask you again, what's wrong?"

I slumped, looking up at the twinkling stars as I wondered how to phrase it. Perhaps it was best to be blunt. "I slept with Seokmin."

Vernon's voice was confused. "And that's a bad thing how...?"

"It's not. The bad thing happened after. He tensed, and I could tell he was freaking out. So I got up and left before he could kick me out."

"Why'd you think he was going to kick you out?"

"You don't know Seokmin like I do. He's got some batshit idea in his head that he doesn't deserve love and that I'm going to get bored of him. He's determined to push me away before that can happen."

"You're right. I don't know him as well as you. I know you though. How were you able to leave him without marking him? I'm amazed your demon allowed you to go."

"I didn't go far," I laughed bitterly. "I'm currently sat on his roof."

Vernon sighed, but before he could speak again, I heard Seungkwan in the background. There was a muffled exchange of words before Seungkwan's sleep-addled voice came over the line. "Joshua? What's happened?"

My throat thickened. "Hey, bestie. I think I fucked up."

He made a sympathetic clucking sound. "Walk me through it."

I gave him the same rundown as I had Vernon but threw in a few more details. Nothing intimate that would betray Seokmin's trust, but enough so he would understand why I did what I had. "So what do you think? Should I have pushed to stay?"

"No, I don't." His tone was thoughtful, all hints of sleep now gone. "I actually think you've done the right thing. Seokmin is the kind of person who needs space to stew. If you rush him, he'll dig in like the stubborn bastard he is. He needs time to process."