Lotus

Rina - 14: Christmas

“Merry Christmas.”

     Fast forward a couple of days to December 23rd. Kai invited Rina to go out to go food shopping with him.

     “Kai?”

     No response.

     “Oppa?”

     “What is it?

     “Am I pretty?”

     Kai looked at her in astonishment. His confused expression was anticipated, as her question was so straightforward and unexpected.

     “Rina, I never really looked at you in that kind of way,” he admitted bashfully. “Why are you asking this?”

     “I’ve been trying to figure out why exactly Ren started liking me,” she replied. “I started to think about it, but I can only come up with negative things about myself. I complain a lot. I’m weird. Is it possible that he’s only attracted to the superficial and shallow things? I don’t think I’m very appealing. I have plain hair, a plain body, and a plain face—”

     Kai whacked her on the head with his coupon catalog.

     “You’re very pretty,” he said. “There should be at least a thousand girls in this world who are jealous of your soft, shiny hair, your small figure, and your unique face.”

     Rina blushed. She wasn’t used to getting any direct compliments from boys… at least not as direct as his.

     “I love you,” she said, throwing herself into Kai’s arms and hugging him tightly.

     “What’s up with you, anyways?” he asked.

     “Tomorrow, Christmas Eve, would make three weeks for Ren and me. Is it weird that we’ve never kissed yet?

     Kai sighed. Many possibilities circulated through his mind. Maybe Ren was too awkward to kiss her first. Maybe Rina gave off signals that she wasn’t ready to kiss yet. Maybe Ren actually wasn’t romantically interested in Rina, but was only with her because she reminded him of—”

     “It’s not weird, don’t worry,” Kai said, giving her a smile. “These days, it seems weird if a couple has never kissed before they started dating. Relationships are moving faster than ever, so your concern is understandable. You and Ren have technically been together for a long time. Maybe it’s just a little weird to transition into the stage of kissing… and whatever.”

     Rina gave a sigh of relief and nodded.

     “Thanks.

     Rina’s Christmas Eve was spent with her family. They didn’t really do anything special. Most of Rina’s day was actually spent just by herself, reading books and watching shows online. Her sister, Rose, left the house for a few hours to be with her friends. When she came back, she remained inseparable from her cell phone and laptop. It was not until dinner, prepared by Rina’s mother, that everyone came together.

It was a tragic attempt for the four to act as if they were a close family.

     The reality was that the table remained silent as they ate. Rina’s mother brought up depressing stories from work, as usual. Her father tried to crack jokes, but failed to make his two daughters laugh, as usual. Instead he insulted them, insisting that they needed to eat more because they weren’t eating enough. But what did he know? He was never around to observe their eating habits. Rose did not look up from her dish, except to check to see if anyone had messaged her phone. Rina remained silent, slowly eating her food with a stoic and emotionless face. She wanted to go back to her room and wrap herself in her blanket. She wanted to be alone. It was her norm. She always felt alone. She was always alone. She knew that in just a day… or even in just a couple of minutes, the four separate lives would continue being four separate lives.