Bade Sapne

Mein, Tu, aur Woh

Shubman's POV

Ishan, Ishan, Ishan. Uske dimaag mein sirf Ishan hoga. Sabko Ishan hi pasand tha. The pain shot through me like a bullet when I came to know what I was really worth to her. Nothing.

Her eyes teared up as I explained that he was in a match and couldn't pick up the phone and that we had to wait until it was over to be able to communicate with him.

"Phir tum kaise aaye ho? Tumhari match nahi thi kya? Kal toh Gujurat ki match hai, na...?"

"Yaar, tu..." I cut myself off. Usko kaise samjhao mein? "Tujhe aise kaise chod jaata mein?"

"Lekin tu toh mujhse nafrat karta hai, na?"

The innocence in her voice made me melt. How could I break such a pure heart? How was I so cruel?

"Nafrat..."

"Ye sab galti se hua hai, Shubman, tum please mujh par ghussa maat karo, mein-"

"Nahi-"

"Aaj meri baat sun. Last time tune nahi suna tha. Aaj toh sun le." She said, tears threatening to spill onto her coloured cheeks.

I dropped my head in shame. I hadn't even given her a chance to explain, and I wasn't today either. I needed to shut the fuck up. I nodded. "Bolo."

"Hum gaya the, woh coffee shop ko, aur wahan Priya mili, right?"

I nodded slowly.

"Aur phir mein aur Priya humare coffee lene gaye, aur line mein, aise hi, hum baat kar rahe the, aur Priya ne kahan ki tumhari performances, aur aggression thoda... kum hua tha."

I scrunched my eyebrows, slightly hurt by the comment, but willing to listen. "Phir?"

"Toh mujhe laga ki, tumhari favourite bat... meine... you know..." Her eyes darted to the ground, to our surroundings, and anywhere but my own eyes. Ouch. 

"Yes."

"Mujhe laga ki, if you didn't have your favourite bat, maybe the balance of it would be off, or you would need time to get used to the bat." She made some flailing hand gestures, trying to get her point across- ahhh kitni cute hai yaar- shut up Shubman! 

"Okay..."

"Mein saach mein aur kuch nahi soch rahi thi. Ye media wale log- they're all saying ki humare beech kuch toh tha..."

"Woh kamine log hote hai, unka kuch nahi sun na."

"Toh meine keh diya ki, aise aise hua hai, I broke his bat by accident, aur uske wajah se woh accha nahi khel raha hai, aur meri galti hai. Aur shayad kisi ne toh suna hoga, lekin they left out the bit right before..."

I looked at her in shame. I hadn't even given her the chance to finish the story the first time, and now I regretted it deeply. I had failed, as a friend, as a companion, as... a person. 

"Vira... I'm so sorry..." 

She looked away, disappointment evident on her face. "I just... I thought you would at least hear me out... but you didn't trust me enough to let me give my side of the story."

"I'm sorry, Vira-" I started, before she interrupted me. 

Vira shook her head, brushing her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Nahi, Shubman, it's not just that. Tumhe lagta hai ki tumhe galat samajh nahi hua. Tumne ek baar bhi mujh par trust nahi kiya. You just... you assumed the worst of me."

Her words stung, each one sinking into me like an anchor. She was right. I had assumed the worst, blinded by my anger and insecurities. I'd put up a wall, one that she couldn't get through, even though all she'd done was try.

"Mujhe nahi pata tha ki tumhe aise lagega," I murmured, the words falling flat as I spoke them.

She sighed, leaning back, her face full of exhaustion and hurt. "Mujhe bas ye samajh nahi aa raha... ki itna zyada assume kiya tumne, Shubman. Ek baar bhi nahi socha ki maybe I'd never actually hurt you like that? Mujhe itna bura maante ho?"

I looked down at my hands, feeling the weight of her disappointment pressing down on me. The silence between us grew, stretching out like the distance I'd put between us. She deserved an apology, but words alone felt hollow.

"Main samajh gaya hoon," I said finally, forcing myself to look up and meet her gaze. "Maine tumhe galat samjha, aur uske wajah se tumhe hurt kiya. It's my fault... Vira, I'm sorry. Sincerely."

Her expression softened, just a bit, but the pain was still there. "Mujhe nahi pata ki ab iska kya matlab hai, Shubman. Trust... woh ek baar chali jaaye na... wapas aana mushkil hota hai."

That hit me harder than I'd expected. I nodded, acknowledging her words. "I know. Tumne jo kuch kaha... sab sahi hai. Mujhe pata hai ki maine galti ki hai, aur ab mujhe woh sudharna hai."

She looked at me, her eyes searching for something—maybe honesty, maybe a sign that this conversation wasn't just empty promises.

Silence filled the air, thick with unspoken emotions. She glanced away, and for the first time, I realized that even if forgiveness did come, it would be a slow journey.

"Vira?"

She hummed.

"Can I stay here?"

"Matlab?"

"Idhar. In the hospital with you. Till you get better."

"K-kyun?"

"I... want to show you that I'm not a complete dickhead."

"So this is for show."

"No, I'm trying to prove myself to you."

"Right..."

I smiled at her, and took her hand. "Vira... I really, really am sorry. I mean it."

She nodded. "Ok."

A pang of guilt hit me, as I was starting to realise that she was very far from even accepting my apology, let alone forgiving me. Damn, I was a dickhead. I needed to give her time, and as I was about to turn away, unable to show her the tears that were forming in my eyes (at my own stupidity), I felt her squeeze my hand with hers.

I cracked a smile. "Yaar, tu itni acchi kaise ho?"

"Matlab?"

"Like... I've hurt you so much... in fact, you're here because of me... and yet you're still comforting me."

"Shubman... you may have, but I never stopped thinking of you as a friend..."

As a friend. That's all we would ever be.
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A/N:

HEY GUYS

Sorry I updated so late today- I've been busy all day, and im actually really tired right now.

Ok, so, big announcement.

I've got exams coming up soon, so I'm either going to pre-release the uploads/put them on auto update. Now, this may mean that they aren't proofread or that the formatting isn't great, and there may be some grammar mistakes in the Hindi.

Also, obviously, in the next few weeks, the releases will be less frequent because these are very important exams and I need to focus my time and energy on them. If I have free time, I will write more chapters, but my backlog of chapters is quickly diminishing, which is worrying me slightly.

I know you guys are probably fed up of having to wait for longer some weeks and less on other weeks, and that can be frustrating. But please understand that I'm trying my best here, and I want the story to be as good as it possibly can.

If you've read the A/N up till here, thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to read it all.

Also, let me just confirm: I am NOT putting the story on hold. The consistency of uploads will decrease, obviously, but I will try and get it out as regularly as I can.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Love ya :)

Stay tuned ;)