Never Have I Ever- STEPHANIE ALVES

Little Black Bag (Rosalie)

 I push the doors open and make my way out of the restaurant. It's become one of my go-to spots, especially since it's only five minutes away from my apartment and serves amazing brunch. I had no idea that brunch was a hard thing to get right. Maybe I'm just spoiled and a picky eater, but most of the time that I had brunch in Pennsylvania, I couldn't finish it. This little spot served the best omelets and the best avocado toast that I've ever had. Seriously, those high price places in New York that my mother dragged me to don't even top this place. "Thank you for paying," Madeline says. "Again." Gabriella finishes for her. "Seriously, Rosie, you don't have to do that for us." The girls know about my financial situation. I mean, you'd be blind not to. Most of the things that my mother bought to furnish the apartment would be enough to buy a car. But the girls never take advantage of it, or me. In fact, Madeline brings us coffee most mornings when we meet up and never asks for money, so the least I can do is buy them brunch. "I told you, it's nothing." "Yeah, for you. That omelet was $30. What kind of eggs are they using?" Gabriella asks.I laugh, shrugging. "It tastes good, though." Madeline grimaces. "I hate eggs. I always have to make myself forget I'm eating a chicken's embryo." "Madi," Gabi scorns. "Why would you say that? I love eggs. You've ruined them for me now." Madi laughs at Gabi's face of disgust, and I can't help but snicker too. "How can you love eggs?" Madi asks. "They don't taste of anything unless you use salt." "The same can be said for chicken," Gabi retorts. "And who doesn't like chicken?" "Leila," both me and Madi reply. Leila's been a vegetarian for as long as I've known her. I was horrified one day in high school when I offered her a stick of gum, and she gladly stuck a piece in her mouth, only to look at the packet and see that it had gelatin in it. I mean, who knew gum wasn't vegetarian? Definitely not me. "How is Leila?" Madi asks. "Last I saw her, she seemed stressed out." "More than usual," Gabi says. Leila is always stressed. She's somehow also the most laid back and carefree of the four of us. She's fun and likes having fun, but when it's to do with work or school, she closes up and becomes a hermit hiding out until she can get whatever it is, done. But recently, every time I saw Leila, she seemed irritated, and I can pretty much guess why. "It's her roommate, I think," I tell the girls. "Leila walked into her room the other day, and her roommate was on Leila's bed with a guy." "Oh my god," Gabi says, and then she nudges Madi. "At least I've never done that before." Madi narrows her eyes at Gabi. "You wouldn't be walking if you had." Gabi rolls her eyes. "You can stop with the empty threats. I haven't brought anyone back to the dorm after that 'incident.'" "You mean the incident where I heard you have sex? How nice of you to have the common decency of not hooking up when I'm there." "Well, you don't have to worry about that. Once we move out next year, we'll have separate bedrooms. I can be as loud as I want." She grins. Madi stops and holds her hand up. "Um. No, you can't because we'll still share a wall."Gabi shrugs. "I'll buy you earplugs." Madi rolls her eyes. "Dear God, help me." I snicker. "You two are moving out next year?" "Yep," Gabi says. "I'm sick of dorm rooms. I need a place where I can leave a chocolate wrapper on the floor without Madi here, being passiveaggressive about it." "Why would you leave a chocolate wrapper on the floor when we have a trash can? Plus, you're my best friend, so I can't be aggressive over it." "Aw." Gabi coos, looking at me. "She just called us best friends." Madi tries not to smile but ultimately loses and ends up laughing. "How was the audition?" I ask Madi. She groans, her eyes closing for a minute, and she sighs. "I thought it went well, but it's been a week, and they haven't called back yet, so..." she says, shrugging. "I'm sorry," I tell her. I've seen Madi's audition tapes before, and she's great. I have no doubt that she'll be a famous actress one day. She smiles weakly. I can see how much she's upset by it, but she still tries to put on a brave face. "It happens." "Don't worry about it," Gabi says. "You're still in college. I know you'll end up getting the audition that you're perfect for, and that's perfect for you." Madi squints her eyes, looking at Gabi. "Why are you being nice to me?" she asks. "It's scary." Gabriella laughs at Madi. "I'm always nice to you." "Yeah." Madi scoffs. "When you steal all of my snacks and then feel guilty afterwards, so you suck up to me." "You know about that?" Gabi asks, her eyes widening. Madi laughs, shaking her head. "Everything in my cupboard is empty. Did you think I just assumed it was a rat?" "No, I thought you'd think it was a raccoon," Gabi adds with a shrug. "How would a raccoon break into our dorm room?" "I don't know," Gabi says. "You never said anything, so I thought you didn't know." "Because I'm not going to scream at you for eating some snacks." Gabi grins, throwing her arms over Madi. "Aw. How cute. You love me."Madi rolls her eyes, stepping back from Gabriella. "I need to get to class. See you later, Rosie. And you too, snack hoarder." Madi's already walking away when Gabriella yells back at her. "It was the raccoon." "Weirdo." I hear Madeline mumble as she walks away. Gabriella and I laugh as we watch Madi walk towards campus. "Do you have class today?" Gabi asks. I shake my head. "No, I only had one class. Do you have dance class today?" I ask, knowing she usually has a dance class booked for most days of the week. She picks up her phone, looking at the time. "Yeah. It's in fifteen. I should probably get going," she says. "Okay. Have fun." I tell her before giving her a hug, and she smiles back as we separate. I make my way over to my apartment, dying to get my hands on a sketchbook. I've been doing a lot of sketching recently; I don't know why but my brain is a catalyst for ideas suddenly. Yesterday I came up with five new designs, which were some of my best work. But that thought evaporates the moment I see a very familiar car. I know that car. I've slept on top of that car. All of a sudden, my brain is consumed with the thoughts of the other night. The bike, the lake, the kiss, the way I all but begged him to touch me. And now that I see him, everything I felt with him that day is coming back to me. I feel my cheeks warm as I look at him leaning against his car, with a cigarette hanging from his lips. Those lips. I kissed those lips, and it was nothing like I thought it would be. A girl's first kiss usually happens when she's young, maybe even before puberty, but mine was three days ago, with no other than Grayson Carter. And it was perfect. The way he kissed me was like he couldn't get enough of me like he needed me as close as possible to him. He was demanding and aggressive, and even though I had never kissed anyone before, he didn't seem to mind it. He took it at my pace and waited for me to get comfortable enough to the point where he could kiss me as he wanted. I thought kisses were meant to be soft and gentle, and that's what I gave him the moment our lips met,but all of that was thrown out of the window the minute Grayson stuck his tongue in my mouth. The groans and moans, the hair tugging and devouring each other's taste. That was kissing. That was what I wanted, and I didn't even know it. And I want it again. "Hey," I say, approaching where he is. His eyes snap to mine, and he lifts himself from the car and smirks. Just a twitch on the side of his lips makes my gaze drop to his mouth, reminiscing on that kiss. "Hey," he says, throwing out the cigarette. "I've been looking for you." "Really?" Did that sound too desperate? "Yeah," he says. "I've got a gift for you." My eyebrows scrunch. "A gift?" He smirks again and then leans into his car, through the open window, and pulls out a huge bouquet of flowers. Pink roses. They're absolutely gorgeous, and the fact that Grayson bought them for me makes them even better. "You got me flowers," I say more than ask. I'm in disbelief. He walks towards me and hands me the flowers. I take them from him and look down at them, unable to stop staring at them. Grayson got me flowers. "Yeah," he says, sticking his hands in his pockets and shrugging. "When you told me that you buy yourself flowers because you don't have anyone else to buy them for you, I felt bad," he admits, making my breath hitch. "I know I'm not your boyfriend, but... we're friends, right? And well, you have me now, so I'll buy you flowers from now on." He's waiting for me to reply, but I'm standing here, staring at him dumbfounded. Grayson got me flowers. "I don't even know what to say," I finally speak up. "You didn't have to do that." He shakes his head, reaching out for my hand. "I want to, Rosie. If anything, then just purely for the look on your face when I give them to you." His hand lifts and strokes my cheek, a smile spreading across his face. "It's priceless." I smile, too, so wrapped up in this moment. I look down at the flowers in my hand, seeing how big and beautiful they are. I frown a little. They musthave cost him a lot, and Grayson needs the money, right? "But... these flowers look expensive," I tell him. "You probably need the money. You don't have to spend it on me." He grabs my face with both hands, cupping it while staring into my eyes. "Listen to me," he says. "If I'm kissing you and licking your body like it's a fucking feast, then the least I could do is get you some flowers." His thumb strokes back and forth on my cheek, and my breathing becomes heavy. "I don't give a fuck about the money, Rosie." He leans in, and his lips meet mine in a soft, gentle kiss like I first gave him. But this time, he tastes of smoke, and the taste of cigarettes fills my mouth. I try not to let it affect me because his kiss is still perfect, but he must notice that I grimace because he pulls back. He searches my face, his brows drawn. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Nothing," I say way too quickly before leaning in to try and kiss him again, but he stops me. "What's wrong, Rosalie?" he asks again. I sigh, giving in. "You taste of smoke," I say. I see him frown a little, and I instantly wish I hadn't said anything. "I'm sorry. I just hate the taste, and the smell, and the way it made me feel," I tell him, honestly. "I don't know how you do it. It seems like every time I see you, you have a cigarette in your mouth. It brings me back to when I smoked on that day when you taught me, remember? Anyway, I didn't mean to hurt you or embarrass you. I just thought I should tell you, but it doesn't—" He interrupts me with another kiss. This one quick and hard. Just the press of his lips against mine. "I'll quit," he says. My eyes widen. "What? No. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, please don't quit this now. I didn't mean it. I love the taste. Do you have one on you now?" "Angel," he says, laughing. I shouldn't have said anything. Now he wants to quit on me. That's the last thing I want. "Calm down," he says, still laughing. "I meant I'll quit smoking." "Oh." I breathe out. My shoulders relax a little. "I thought you were quitting on us," I say. "I mean not on us, just this... arrangement. You know what I mean." "I do." "But you don't have to quit for me. I'll get used to it. I promise."Isn't smoking hard to quit? And seeing as Grayson smokes every day, he obviously likes it, and I don't want him to quit just for me. He shakes his head. "I don't want you to get used to it," he says. "You're right. It's horrible. I hate the taste too." I squint my eyes at him. "That's not true." "Yes, it is." "No, it's not," I say. "You have one every time I see you." He takes out the pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and crushes it in his palm. I gasp at the sight, but he just smiles. He disposes of it in the trash and walks back over to me. "As long as I get to taste this," he says, running his thumb over my bottom lip. "I don't give a fuck what I have to give up." I stop breathing. I don't even remember how to breathe in this moment. "I want this more than smokes." "You do?" He nods. "I do." I smile, and I can't help it. I don't care what he tastes like. I crush my lips to his and kiss him. He pulls back after a minute and looks down at the flowers in my arms. "I didn't know if you had a favorite flower," he says. "So, I just got roses. It seemed fitting, you know... Rosalie." I grin, knowing he thought of me. The idea of him trying to figure out my favorite flower makes my chest tight. "I don't have a favorite flower," I tell him. "I tend to get a new type every time. Whatever the saleswoman suggests." He nods. "Okay then, useful information for next time." "I told you; you don't need to do that." He rolls his eyes. "I don't care what you say, Rosie. I'm buying you flowers." I don't really want to argue with him, especially about him buying me flowers, so I smile. "Okay." He lets out a laugh under his breath. "Okay." He grins. "But that wasn't the only surprise I had." "There's more?" He snickers. "You have no idea." He tugs on my hand until we reach his car, and he leans inside again, but this time, he pulls out a small black bag.He holds it out, and I take it from him. I love surprises. I open the bag and look inside. My cheeks instantly turn red. "Um," I say, not able to make eye contact with him. He knows I'm flustered because he laughs, and then he leans into me. "I want you to use it," he whispers. "Whenever you feel like you did when we kissed. Whenever you're turned on, use it and explore." "You want me to use this?" I ask, breathing hard. "Yes." He tugs my earlobe between his teeth, and I almost moan. "How?" I ask. He laughs quietly. "You put it between your legs and move it until it feels good," he says, with another tug of my earlobe. "Okay." I breathe out. "Yeah?" I nod, and he grins. "I've got to go," he says, leaving a quick peck on my lips. "Have fun with your new present," he says, opening his car door and stepping inside. His tone is suggestive, and right now, I wished he would use his gift on me himself. "Yeah." I swallow. "I will." He smiles again and then backs out of the driveway and drives off. I'm stuck in that same position for who knows how long, just staring at the road where he drove off. I eventually move my feet, making my way to my apartment. Once I get in, I dispose of the daisies I bought last week and replace them with the roses Grayson got me. I still can't believe he got me flowers. I turn around and kick off my shoes and happen to glance at the little black bag standing on the counter in front of me. It's staring back at me, taunting me, daring me. I have never touched myself before. Until Grayson told me, I thought only boys did that. Another thing that I've been sheltered from. My whole life is rose-tinted glasses, and Grayson is helping me remove them step by step. He's making me see the world how he sees it. Grayson said it was normal. Girls can experience pleasure just as much as guys. If it's anything how he made me feel the other day, I can't wait to find out for myself. I keep staring back at the little black bag, sitting there with a toy inside. When I looked at it, it didn't look intimidating. It looked kind of pretty. It'ssmall and pink and honestly cute. I can't believe Grayson got this for me. I feel heat traveling through my body. My face is hot, my neck is hot, and my whole body is hot all over. I swallow and head towards the counter, pulling the toy out of the bag. I hold it in my hand, running my fingers over it. How does this work? My heart picks up speed as I stroll toward my bedroom. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, something naughty. I pull my clothes off, wanting some air to hit my skin, and settle in my bed under the sheets. I let myself breathe for a bit, trying to calm my heartbeat down. I turn the device on, and the sound fills the room. The quiet buzzing of the toy surrounds me, and I press it against my palm, feeling it vibrate against my skin, making it feel numb. I bring it to my body, pressing it against my chest, bringing it down until it vibrates against my nipples. I gasp, and a moan slips out when the pleasure coils through my body. I close my eyes, imagining it's Grayson's hands, his mouth over my skin as I drag it down my stomach, feeling the vibrations all over my body until I reach the top of my crotch. I take a deep breath in and drag the toy down and fit it between my legs, allowing the wetness to cover the toy, making it so easy to rub it up and down. I press it harder into me until my back arches uncontrollably. I press it again in the same spot, feeling my body heat up. I think of the kiss. My first kiss. How demanding and controlling Grayson was in that kiss. How he seemed to know exactly what I wanted when I didn't even know myself. My stomach cramps up, and my breathing becomes deep. A bead of sweat forms on my forehead as I hold the toy between my legs. I remember Grayson's hand on my thigh, gripping it as he dragged it up higher and higher. I keep the toy pressed against that sweet spot as my hips buck up. My other hand grips the sheets between my clutched fists, unable to contain the pleasure running through my body. It gets intense. So intense I close my eyes and muffle the noise into the crook of my elbow. I feel the strong feeling deep in my core, sizzling in my body until I find release, making me shake and writhe as the pleasurable feeling crests inside my body. When I come down from the high, I throw the toy to the side of my bed and lay there, staring up at my ceiling, unable to move, breathing hard for awhile. My whole body feels like it went on a rollercoaster. A journey with an unbelievable climax. So, that was an orgasm. Fun