Never Have I Ever- STEPHANIE ALVES

A Bad High (Rosalie)

 I've never been happier to see my apartment building. I'm drained. I can't think of anything better than going home after a long day of classes. I push open the revolving doors and walk inside the lobby, seeing my favorite concierge ever. My smile grows. "Hey, Andrew." His pale face heats with warmth, and he smiles back at me. "Rosie, darling. How are you?" I sigh. "A bunch of homework and not enough time." He laughs, and the sound makes me feel warm. Andrew told me he's been working at this apartment building for twenty years and has seen all of the changes the building's been through. When I first moved in, I used to talk to him a lot. I find it endearing that he says I remind him of his granddaughter. I always wondered what my grandparents were like. My father's grandparents were loaded and bought him his first house, but I never got to know them because they died when I was still young. I never really heard about my mother's parents. My mother once told me that she didn't have the life I had and wasn't given everything like I was. Other than that, I know nothing about them. "Well, I won't keep you," he says. "I'll just give you your mail and let you go on your way."He hands me a bouquet of flowers and a small cardboard box. I can't stop the grin that blooms over my face at the sight of those flowers. "Got yourself a boyfriend?" he asks. "No, just a friend," I say. He shakes his head as I take the flowers and box from him. "Friends don't give other friends flowers, Rosie." I smile sweetly at Andrew. "It's not like that. We really are just friends." Friends who've seen each other naked. But I don't mention that to him. "See you later, Andrew," I call out as I make my way to the elevator. I head towards my apartment door, unlock it, and step inside. I look down at the flowers grinning at the fact Grayson bought me flowers again. I replace the roses with these new ones. They're different this time but equally as beautiful. Blue. The most beautiful blue I've seen. I notice a card stuck to the white paper the flowers are wrapped in. I pick up the card and open it up. The woman said these were called tulips. They reminded me of what you were wearing last time I saw you. And now I'm thinking of your lips. I can't contain the smile I let out. I love that he thought of me when buying me flowers. I love that he asked the woman what to buy. I love that he's thinking of kissing me again because that's all I can think of. I'm thinking of that night all over again. Loving what and how it happened but hating how it ended. I haven't seen him since. We don't really talk outside of the 'lessons.' He texts me whenever he wants to see me, and I reply, but other than that, we don't really communicate. I never text him, and he's always the first one to reach out. I don't want to be the kind of girl who blows up his phone. We see each other a few times a week, sometimes less, which is fine. I guess it's what Grayson wants, but if it were up to me, I'd be seeing him a lot more. I pick up the cardboard box, opening it up to reveal two brownies. He got me brownies, too? I reach for my phone to text him. I never do that, but this deserves at least a text. Maybe I'll even ask him to come over so I can thank him properly. I tap my phone, and it's black. I tap it again, but the screen isn't turning on.I groan. It must be dead. I had it on the whole time in class. I usually turn it off so it won't accidentally go off in the middle of the lecture hall, but this time I forgot, and now it was dead. I head to my bedroom and throw it on the nightstand, grab my charger, and plug it in. My eyes catch Leila's dress still folded up and lying on the couch in front of me. Might as well get started on it now if I want it to be finished anytime soon. I lift myself off the bed and grab the dress, heading to the kitchen. I place it on the table and bring my sewing equipment with me. The sunlight blares into the apartment from the huge windows, making it light up. The brightness of the apartment is what I love most about this place. As soon as I start to unpin the dress, my stomach rumbles, making me groan. I forgot to eat all day, and I don't have time to cook, not when I need to finish this dress. I eye the brownies on the counter and bring one with me. I look back at the cardboard box that's sitting on the counter. I don't know how long I'll be working on this, so I might as well have the other brownie now to tide me over until dinner. I grab both of them and head back to the table. Brownies for lunch aren't ideal, but they will do until I'm done with the dress. I ravish the brownies, dying to get back to finishing this design. After about twenty minutes of trying to work on this dress, my skin feels cold. I shiver, feeling chills on the surface of my skin. I rub my arms, trying to warm them up. I try to focus on the task at hand, but my mouth feels dry. I need a drink. I get up and fill a cup with water, downing the whole thing. My head jerks when I hear a tapping noise. What the hell is that? I look out of my window, thinking it's rain, but it's pure sunshine out there. The tapping noise won't stop. Tap. Tap. Tap. I check the faucet to make sure it's closed. It is. I head to my bathroom to check the faucet in there. It's closed. Tap. Tap. Tap. My heartbeat starts to pick up. I feel it race against my chest. My breathing starts getting heavier and heavier. What the hell is that noise?Something's wrong. I can feel it. I need to call someone. I rush to my bedroom, grabbing my phone from the nightstand and cursing when the screen doesn't turn on. I look behind the nightstand seeing the charger isn't plugged in. I can't take it anymore. It won't stop. The noise is everywhere, and it's getting faster, louder, and closer. I drag my body down the wall, sitting in a ball with my knees tucked under my chin. It's everywhere. The tapping noise doesn't stop. It will never stop. I press my hands to my ears, begging it to stop. But it doesn't. In the distance, I hear a voice, and I burst out crying. I feel a hand wrap around my wrist, and I try to crawl away, but the hand grips me tighter. I rip my eyes open and see Grayson crouched down in front of me. Grayson is here. He'll save me, everything is going to be okay. "Rosie, what's going on? What's wrong?" he asks in a panicked voice. "It's everywhere," I croak out. "What is?" "I don't know. It won't stop, Grayson. Make it stop, please." He tries to make me look at him, but I can't. I bury my face in my knees. "Make what stop?" "The tapping noises. It won't stop. Tap, tap, tap." He stays silent for a while. Grayson is here, and everything will be fine. At least that's what I tell myself as my heartbeat is faster than ever. "Rosie," he says. "I don't hear anything. There's no noise." But I hear it. It's everywhere, and I can't escape it. Tears stream down my face when I realize he can't help me. I feel his hands on my face, cupping it and making me look at him. "Rosie," he says, his face looking pained. His Adam's apple bobs as he looks at my face. "What the hell did you take?" "What do you mean?" I ask him. "Your eyes. They're bloodshot. What the fuck did you take?" he growls, staring into my eyes. "Nothing," I cry out, hearing the tapping noise get louder. "Please, angel. Just tell me. What did you take?" he asks again. I didn't take anything. I didn't do anything. I shake my head. "Grayson," I choke out. "Make it stop.""Fuck, Rosie. Don't do this to me, please," he rasps, his voice breaking. "Not again." I rip my head from his hands and press it into my hands. "I can't take it anymore," I mumble. "Did you eat or drink anything?" "I had the brownies you gave me," I tell him, the sound muffled from my head being buried in my hands. "What brownies?" he asks. "I didn't give you any brownies." I force myself to look at him, seeing his face pained and hurt and angry. His brows are furrowed, and the vein in his neck threatens to break through his skin. "You didn't?" I ask. "No." Then, who gave me the brownies? "Were they edibles?" he asks me when I don't reply. I shrug, tears still falling down my face. "I don't know. They didn't taste weird." "How many did you have?" I hold up two fingers, and his face turns red. He runs a hand through his hair and curses. "Fuck." I cry out again, the tapping noise surrounds me. "Rosie," he says. "Angel, look at me." He pulls my chin up until I'm looking at him. "I think you had too much. It's just a hallucination, okay?" he says, brushing my hair out of my face. "I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?" I shake my head. I can't catch my breath, and my heart is beating a hundred miles per hour. "Breathe," he orders me. I try to take a deep inhale and feel my heartbeat slow down a little. "Good girl," he soothes, running his thumbs on my face. "Nothing's going to happen to you, okay? You're just having a bad high." I exhale and nod. He stands and holds his hand out. "Come here." "What are you doing?" I ask. "I'm going to help you through this."