Experiment of Madness

25-Conflicted Emotions-Dag

My chest heaved up with emotions after that moment.

The moment we shared in the bathroom was intense, a mix of emotions that I'm struggling to process. It's as if the water's warmth had taken away my ability to think clearly, leaving me in a state of confusion and vulnerability. 
I dress quickly in clean clothes, feeling a mix of frustration and confusion. My mind is still clouded with questions, and I can't deny the hurt and disappointment that gnawed at me.

I walk downstairs, unable to face her. I need some distance, some space to gather my thoughts, and compose myself. The emotional turmoil within me is too raw, and I can't face her at this moment.

I feel a mix of anger, frustration, and disappointment. The emotions inside me feel overwhelming, and the memory of our heated exchange in the bathroom replays in my mind. I can't help but feel that I completely lost it in that moment, my feelings becoming too volatile.

I take a seat on the couch, positioned between Octavia and Fane. Their presence feels slightly comforting, providing a small distraction from my thoughts. I try to pretend everything is normal, but the tension and the weight of what just happened are weighing heavily on my mind.

Fane notices my lack of appetite and comments, "What's wrong? That's your favorite food, spaghetti." His observation is on point. Spaghetti has always been my favorite food, yet tonight, I can't seem to find any appetite for it.

I reply flatly, my voice sounding as if it doesn't belong to myself. "I'm not hungry." My lack of appetite and the lingering emotions are not lost on Fane, and I can sense his slight concern.

I'll keep it for Aerra .

A small smile forms on my face, although my thoughts are still elsewhere.  "Congratulations, by the way. I heard you won your basketball match," I say, trying to sound sincere in my congratulations despite my inner turmoil.

He smiled and nodded, appreciating my acknowledgment, but his eyes narrowed as he sensed something off about me. His observant nature picks up on my distractedness and the fact that I haven't touched my food. "Thanks...but are you okay?" he asks, his concern etched on his face.

I nod.

I turn to Octavia as well. Her eyes meet mine. "Congratulations to you too about your ballet play,"

She grins, appreciating my compliment, but her expression holds a hint of curiosity. Even though her expression returns to happy, I can tell that she notices I'm not my usual self.

 
I'm frustrated, feeling that the situation has given them a glimpse into my vulnerable side, and I've unknowingly revealed a part of myself that I usually keep hidden. I'm mad at myself for letting my guard down, letting my real feelings show, leaving me open.

As I turn my attention to my brother, my eyes catch a glimpse of Sasha sitting beside him. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her into a warm hug, his face lighting up with a genuine, happy smile. The sight is surprising, and the sight of his happiness makes me feel even more out of sorts.

I catch a glimpse of Octavia's phone, and the name  of our cousin Madden flashes on the screen. I notice her smile grows, and there's a subtle glow in her eyes.

My parents walk in, a bouquet of flowers in their hands, and chocolates, the celebration apparent. "Congratulations to my kids," Mom exclaims, Dad chiming in with laughter. The sight of the flowers and chocolates reflects the joy and excitement. It's a happy moment, but it feels distant to me.

While everyone is talking and celebrating, I can't help but wander if Aerra is in her room and thinking how she's thinking. My mind flickers with questions, wondering what might be going through her mind, given how upset we left things between us.